Sunday Chronicles – Page 2 – Investment Piece

After Labor Day Do We Wear White?

I have asked this question and debated it and yet- I never thought to ask: when do we start wearing white? Do you wait till Easter? Is the first day of spring ok? If there is a cut off to wear white when do we begin again?

Is this because I’m in possession of fantastic white (ish) pants that I’m currently wearing (see ? OR because at a point when the weather is all over do I say I’m just doing what the weather tells me? Please let me know- do you have dates for your outfits and colors? I would love to hear about them!

XO RA

I’m from the South and it’s a pretty hard and fast rule that you don’t wear white after Labor Day. It’s so ingrained in us that a few years ago at a football game a guy friend of mine–who is not into fashion–saw a woman wearing white pants and made a comment that she shouldn’t be doing that, as it was after Labor Day. In fact, starting Monday, my mom puts away all her linen items–citing the fact that it’s a summer fabric. And I get it–I’ve clearly been excited and ready for fall. There is something to be said for dressing for the season.

However, after living in California I came to realize that the white rule isn’t necessarily followed everywhere. You could argue that in CA it feels like summer longer, although it can be in the 100s till October in TX. Even the fashion elite –Vogue, etc– have relaxed their thinking and you can search for articles today like “How to Wear Your White Jeans Through Fall”. So who do we listen to–our Southern Moms or those who say we can wear white?

Honestly, I fall in the middle here. Don’t worry Mom–after Monday I won’t wear (a ton of) white pants (winter white is a whole other story though!) but I won’t be rushing to my fall/winter wardrobe. The fact of the matter is it will still be hot on Tuesday. And while I won’t be wearing white pants, white will still most likely pop into my outfits as an accent or piece–skirt, top, etc–but not the whole look. I no longer judge those who wear white after Monday–fashion is so diverse and if you like your outfit I’m a fan of you rocking it! (Also I love it when you’re daring) But I will say I’m looking forward to our gradual shift to fall clothing! Have I mentioned I have some amazing boots to show you??

I’d love to know–what’s your stance on white after Labor Day?

Hope you’re have a great holiday weekend! XO RA

Sunday Chronicles: Catching Up

a cat biting the heel of a woman wearing a white dress with tabby cats on its

It feels as if my life has been a comedy of errors lately. And that’s not always a bad thing, but I am wary to make plans as none of the plans that I have made recently- from friends to pilates classes- have some to pass. Some of the things that I’ve had to break plans for have been AMAZING (print jobs, acting gigs, etc) but some things have been comical- weather and other extensional reasons. Yet, no matter what the reasons I’m missing my routine. And my friends. AKA Nothing ha been doing to plan, I’ve had to cancel too many times, I’m constantly scrambling to readjust my plans. What I’d really love to do is catch up.

So my goal for this next season (Taurus, like me! if you’re into that sort of thing, or just late spring) is to get to follow through with my plans. Classes. Lunches and more with friends. Shoots on certain days. I know not everything is in my control- from weather on down- but everything that is in my control- I’m willing it to go towards catching up.

Also-this goal to catch up doesn’t only apply to my plans (which I AM going to stick to), it also applies to me. From my workouts to my writing schedule (which I’m still working on solidifying), I’m looking to keep commitments this seasons- especially if the commitments in question are to myself. But how do you make catching up to yourself a thing when your work is always in flux? Honestly, I’ve been working as an actress since I was 20 and as a blogger for the past 8 years and I still haven’t figure that out 100%.

But for both me and my social plans I can’t Not plan on anything coming up (yes, I know that’s a double negative). Perhaps what I mean is that no one can ever see all the turns life will throw at you. What I can say is that I am determined to get to catch up. Stick to my plans. If I have to cancel reschedule right away. Maybe it’s a way of being more on top of my schedule, or maybe it’s a way of not letting my life get away. Catching up, at its heart, is about sitting down and listening to some else. And perhaps what I’m craving is really listening to my friends, and me, so that I can adjust my plans.

The coming up season- from birthdays to weddings to showers to graduations is a bit overwhelming, which makes it a perfect season to stick to catching up on what you need- and making that a priority. Exactly what I plan on doing.

Wishing us all a week of plans that follow through and amazing shoes!
XO RA

Sunday Chronicles: Recovery

a woman in navy floral off the shoulder pant suit on a bed with a crochet bed spread

This summer has not gone to plan at all. There’s been health issues. A ton of burnout. Lack of creativity. Feeling just off and not like myself.

Yes, sometimes this is just life. We go through phases like this. Lose ourselves and find ourselves, recreate ourselves all over again. Yet, when you’re coming out of a period that feels “not you”. Or illness. Or switching habits, schedules, and the like. It can feel like recovery. Which I think – at least to me- is hard to admit. Recovery is something I associate with a serious illness. Or addiction (even shopping!). Or something major. From burn out to minor illness to trying to switch my habits and schedules all summer I have been beating myself up a bit as I felt like this was all things that should “come easily” or I should “get over” and “not take time with”.

Yet. Recovery. Any kind of recovery takes time. A lot of my adult life has been spent in gyms and with that comes injuries (both mine and observing others). And it’s not a rarity that recovery is difficult for many of us. Mainly as it involves admitting that you need a step back- or a change. Rest. A reevaluation. All the time that I have spent being hard on myself- and wondering why I was still burnt out or not feeling great (or event shy the house hadn’t been deeply cleaned) was a bit counter productive. In my heart I know that- that rest and focus on recovery would ironically help me recover and change my habits faster. A physical injury needs rest and recovery, and so does any burn out, etc.

But. Why is recovery so difficult? Why is rest, even rest you know you need, hard to allow yourself? Quell surprise, I have none of the answers. Even admitting to myself that I need to recover, or at least a few days off, has been incredibly hard (why I feel like I always need to be on is beyond me). Letting myself actually recover? Working on it.

For me recovery needs a lot of rest- even if that just means doing what I love (like pilates classes and time with friends). It’s alone time and piddling around the house. Bad TV and amazing movies. Schedules and changing of habits. The most difficult part? Giving myself the time to do all of this. Again, I am working on it.

I would love to know- how do you recover? From burnout or injury or simply just not feeling like you? What are your best tips to get to where you want to be and allowing yourself time?

I would love to hear all about it!

Wishing us all a week of recovery and amazing shoes! XO RA

Sunday Chronicles: Taking up Space

In light of all the world events, protests, revolutions, and my wanting to be a better ally I’ve been thinking a lot about my voice. And how to best use it. The thing is: I’m not always comfortable speaking up or taking up space. I was raised to be “nice” and not “make trouble” and “please everyone”. But the fact is none of those things are really possible. Some trouble is good. I (and you) deserve to be heard. And nice isn’t always the best policy. So. I’m working on it. And while my thoughts here are from a few years ago, reflecting on how I can take up space this week helped me. Hope it helps you! XO RA

Sometimes topics come and hit you over the head, forcing you to pay attention to them. This week I was minding my own business, cruising the internet, when out of no where this article and this article kept popping up, on repeat. A sign? Maybe, maybe not; but when articles appear, I read them.

A note–I am one of those who have a hard time asking for the space I need (unless we are driving an then just try to sway into my lane–you have a horn coming). I believe in courtesy, compassion, and sharing-but a long line of waiting for others to recognize that I may need leg room/arm room/a seat has taught me that you have to take your space–others won’t give it to you. And yes, there are societal and gender issues at play; there are different types of space and different issues that surround each of them. I could write about them all but want you to not be reading till Monday! So, for today, let’s talk physical space–we can deal with other issues another day.

So space. We all need it– be it on a subway, an arm rest, on an airplane. So why do some of us have such a hard time asking for it? There are those who don’t–and yes, as a member of the former group I can be in awe, envy, and sometimes hate those who seem to take up all the space they need (and sometimes more) without a thought or care. Are those people inherently bad or selfish? I like to think not (yes, I could write about those who probably are). Some people just naturally take up space. I, personally, don’t–and it’s not that I don’t need it. I’m tall, I like to spread out as much as the next person, and know I deserve the sidewalk or public space as much as the next person. And it’s not that I don’t take space–it’s just that if others are taking up space (manspreaders, etc) or if the space is in debate (shared armrests), I tend to defer-not ask for space, let the other person have it.

So why? If I know I have a right to the space, why do I, and others like me, have a hard time asking for it? Maybe we expect people to notice what we need and give it to us–which has never worked for me. Maybe it’s years of training to be nice and not demand things–I’m a Southern woman, I know this. Maybe it’s a combination, maybe other issues come into play. I don’t know.

I do know that I believe every single one of us deserves to take up all the space we need. And if people aren’t going to give it to us, we’re going to have to take it. Is this hard for me? Yes, but the good news is we can do hard things. So this week I’ve gone out of my way to take up the space I need. A guy at the movies had his legs spread wide, I willed myself to say “Excuse me” (not “I’m sorry”, another issue), and even though I had to say it twice, he moved. At the gym I stood my ground and held my space at the mirror while getting ready. Moon-landing accomplishments? No. But a start. This doesn’t mean my voice doesn’t shake sometimes, or I find it easy; but if other people are asking for the space they deserve, why shouldn’t I?

Here’s the secret guys, there is enough space for all of us. And if you aren’t getting what you need, you are going to have to ask for it. I’d love to know–is this something you struggle with? How do you deal with it?

Wishing us all a week of space and amazing shoes! XO RA

Sunday Chronicles: Living with Wounds

Sunday Chronicles, Investment Piece, wounds, editorial

This was originally posted about a few years ago. I began thinking about this very topic this week when I looked down and realized that some of these very same scars were barely visible. Some are still there, very bright. And I’ve added some new scars. It got me thinking about healing, about moving on, about how we live with our scars. In the past year I’ve healed. I’ve gotten hurt. I’ve learned. And when I’ve need them, the people in my life have been there for me. As I think about my scars, and re-read this, I can’t help but think that maybe living with our scars isn’t a bad thing.

Originial Post:
Loves, as you may know, this year has been a doozy when it comes to loss. And in the midst of this, last week there was a small grease fire in my kitchen and I burned my arms. Badly. It’s not pretty.

Sunday Chronicles, Investment Piece, wounds
And this is the “good” arm. Loves, it was painful. It is painful. And yet, after the shock and the first aid, my thought was how it would look. And later in the week I again worried about outfits, about shoots, about the fact that right now, unless I fully commit to long sleeves (and even those failed Friday night) I can’t hide the fact that I have wounds on my arms. I’m sure we could chat about my need for perfection, if it’s good that I worry about how it looks, and if those conversations say something about career choices or society as a whole- maybe we’ll get to those later, but for now–wounds. I’m living with them.

And loves, it’s uncomfortable. No matter what our wounds are, having them in the open can be difficult. It’s painful, sometimes on many levels. It invites questions. It can leave you feeling vulnerable. But loves, the only way for wounds to heal are to have them heal, and often that means having them in the open. And while it can be a struggle to live with wounds, it’s brave. It means willing to be vulnerable, to live with questions, to be honest about where you are-pain and all. There’s bravery in that, there’s beauty in that. And while that’s hard for me, I’m learning to live in that space.

I can do nothing about the fact that I have these burns/scars on my arms for the time being. They will be in some photos, as much as I may not like that. But this is where I am. So I’m learning: that being honest about where you are is brave, that being vulnerable about questions and situations is freeing, and that flaws can be beautiful. I’m giving my wounds time to heal, because you can’t rush that, and I’m living there.

I just may have to wear amazing shoes to balance it out.

No matter where you are I’m wishing us all a beautiful week and amazing shoes! XO RA

Sunday Chronicles: Letting Go

a close up selfie of a woman in red lipstick and the head of a giant nutcracker

Perhaps it’s just me, but we’re at the time in the holiday season where I’m simply letting things go. That doesn’t mean that I’m not celebrating, not in the spirit, not crossing things off my to-do list. I am doing all of that, and am excited about being with my friends and family in the coming weeks and doing all of the holiday things! What it does mean is that I’m taking all of those big expectations and “shoulds” and all the stress that comes from wanting to make this “the best holiday ever” and I’m just letting go.

Historically, letting go isn’t something that comes easily to me. I care a lot- especially at this time of year. And when I care I tend to worry and over think and fixate (all things I’m working on!). I realize that this is a time of year when we often take on more than we can chew- over commit, over expect, and over do; and it’s not that I have answers for how to stop any of these behaviors.And I too have all these things I want to do and make and have perfect.

But. We’re less than 10 days away from Christmas. It’s not that you can’t get more things done in this time-it’s just that we’re getting to a time when we are going to have to let things be how they are. The decorations look how they look. Our plans are what they are. The gifts will be what they are (and if nothing else gift cards will be given). My letting go is more accepting this and being happy with what we have, rather than fighting and over stressing to do the things that just won’t be done.

I feel like this is a yearly battle. At least for me. This time of year brings out so many wants and it’s so easy to get swept into how “we should do it” and how “it could be perfect”. Every year I claim I won’t let things overwhelm and stress me- and yet, about this time every year I’m having to face that things won’t go according to the biggest plans. The thing is- maybe they’ll go better?

Movies, songs, all the things will tell us that simple is better (and I will say we simplified our decorations this year and they are still stunning!) and the important thing is being with who you love (it is!) but it can be hard to accept that. So how do we?

I’m still figuring it out. Like letting go, it’s a process for me. My steps?
-I’m doing what I can. Sometimes that’s a lot, sometimes it’s not. And when I can’t meet my own high standards, I remind myself that they people who love me will love what I’m doing.
-Done is better than perfect. Hard to swallow, but often I keep trying to make things perfect when they could just be done. I also take this moment to remind myself that I am the only one who will notice the “imperfections” I see.
-I’m making plans for the new year- from dinners with friends to shopping to notes, instead of trying to cram everything in now and giving people the stressed version of me I’m moving what I can to the new year and am getting excited about those things.

Being happy with how things are and letting the holiday be what it will be- not easy at all. Yet, I think it’s a part of having a happy holiday season. So, how do you let go? How do you make this season happy and stress free?

Wishing us all a week of happy and stress free celebrations and amazing shoes! XO RA

Sunday Chronicles: When It Takes Time to Stick

a red cone key lock jewelry box with a rhinestone t-rex and a mirro

I have written so often about routines, and being behind and burnout as these are truly things that I struggle with. This week I went to write AGAIN about how I am struggling with some burnout, some issues making and sticking to a routine, and all the things associated with all of that. Then, I worried that I was a broken record. And then I wondered- I am a self aware person. I know what I am struggling with, often why, and changes that could help. So, why hasn’t anything I know or tried to change stuck?

What happens when the things you want to change take time to stick?

Another super fun thing about me? I am not always patient. In times like these when I am aware of a need to change : my schedule, stop procrastinating, a need for rest, etc; I somehow think that change will be quick (and easy). When, in reality, I know sometimes changes take time, you have to make them over and over, and that sticking to anything takes time. Change is hard. Getting over burnout is hard. To any friend (including you!) I would tell you (and truly believe) that sometimes we get in slumps, ruts, overtired, patterns we don’t like and knowing that change is a process to have grace with yourself and as long you’re trying you’ll get there. That grace with sticking it and time? For some reason I don’t always have it for myself.

It’s one of those times when what’s known and what you expect are disconnected from each other. And as self aware and knowing as I am? I don’t have answers. There are changes and patterns I would like to change, and routines I would like to stick to- all while being my best and most fashionable self. Recently, a dear one reminded me that we all have times in life that dip, slump, shake things up and it’s more about being patient and graceful while you get out of it. This season for me hasn’t been my favorite, but on the other hand, I am more sure of the things I want, and how I want my days to look.

Knowing all of that, is it possible to take time to make it stick? To give myself the leeway and grace, patience and support that sticking to changes needs? Maybe the only way to find out is to stick to things- even when sticking to things takes time.

What things do you feel as if you have to do over and over again to make them stick? What is your advice to making changes that stick (quickly!)? I would love to hear all about it!

Wishing us all a week of sticking to it and amazing shoes! XO RA

Sunday Chronicles: Should You Fake It?

In an episode of Sex and the City, the ladies visit LA where Samantha tempts Carrie with fake Fendi bags- conveniently sold out of the trunk of a guy in the Valley. Bags that look exactly like the real thing but for half (or less than half) the price? It does sound tempting- but Carrie opts to hold out for the real thing; her thinking being that even if the bag fooled everyone she would know it was fake, and she didn’t want fake. And while getting a steal is tempting – I side with Carrie on this one.

Is this an essay to persuade you that you should always shell out the bucks for the designer bag? Nope. I do believe in quality, and love saving and buying some of my designer things- but think quality can be found at any price and you have to do what is best for you- and if a fake bag makes you happy I say go for it. What I’ve been thinking about all the other things in life we fake- and whether or not we deserve more than Valley-trunk fakeness.

To an extent, we live in a world of knock-off, fast fashion just being one of the culprits. And I’m just as guilty: I’ve staged photos to get “likes” on Instagrams, I color my hair but want my stylist to make it look as natural as possible, and I’ve spun events in my life so that to people everything sounds amazing. Is this bad? The hair color is for sure great, and I’m not a fan of spilling my secrets to strangers; there is a truth to the saying “Fake it till ya make it”. So, good right?

Maybe. But, what I’ve been thinking is that maybe we spend a little too much effort on how things look like on the outside, and completely ignore the inside. To put it another way, if the bag looks designer on the outside does it count if it’s cracked and peeling on the inside? Some of the best nights of my life have been messy: crying , laughing, holding onto people I love. Not one picture from those nights would pass anyone’s Instagram standards. And while spinning events can be great–how amazing is it to open up to the people with whom you can be honest? The ones who ask who you are and you can honestly say “Sad” or “Scared” or “Abnormally excited” and have that be ok? Aren’t all those experiences, messy as they can be, just if not more amazing than having things look perfect?

Does this mean that I’m going to stop having things look nice, coloring my hair, or spinning to certain people? Nope. But, just like Carrie, I think that even if I’m the only one who knows it–I don’t want fake. So I’m making an effort to be more real–even if it’s messy and scary– and I’m trusting that it will be just as beautiful as the fake. I’d love to know–what’s your take on this?

Wishing us all a week of realness and amazing shoes! XO RA

Sunday Chronicles: Happy Father’s Day!

It’s Father’s Day! My dad is an engineer but has never questioned or withheld his support from his daughter who only ever wanted to dance, act, and be in fashion. He’s also the man who taught me to love football–which is a huge part of my life. I wouldn’t be where I am without him. I hope the fathers in your life are as supportive of you!

On the other hand, relationships with our parents, and parent figures can be tough. I hope if this is a hard day for you that you’re spending the day in a way that feels right to you.

Wishing us all a week of love and amazing shoes! xo RA

Sunday Chronicles: Day Off

a woman in a teal and chartreuse sleep set and robe lounges on a white bench in front of a white wall

Things I have been thinking about lately:
Burn Out (why and how to fix it)
Balance- in work and life and if it’s possible
Rebellion- I am horrible about when I get stressed I do that “revenge” stay up late thing where you stay up late to decompress and get time alone but it’s not great for you
Boundaries- how to set them and what they look like when you don’t have a traditional schedule
Habits
How I would like to my life to work.

There is so much about my life and work- even my day job!- that I love. That I feel as if I am good at. That I want to keep on. Yet. Loves. I have to admit that lately I am bit over tired. A lot overworked. On the edge of burn out. Do to this- fashion and my creative pursuits which I love (and feel as if I am failing at right now! Which is part of this!)- and my day job (sadly, Gucci doesn’t buy itself) I haven’t had a day off in MONTHS. MONTHS. I had a work trip for my day job a few weeks ago- that week I worked over 90 hrs just for them, plus shooting. And writing. As you may have heard my mom had emergency surgery (which I will never, ever complain about getting to be there for my family), but it was another thing I worked through. (Seriously, took a zoom call in the waiting room while she was in surgery).

I am tired. I am ready for a break. And my schedule doesn’t naturally lend itself to that. SO. I am making it. Today I am off0 my big plans include a face mask, doing my nails. Though I would like to shoot a few looks (as I am too excited about them!) and get started on some cleaning and laundry. Because I want to get on top of my schedule- and life. I want to get to a place where I am not behind ALL the time- and I have time for things I love (hello you!) and get to rest some.

The only way I know to get to that place is to take some time. Will I be putting up an OOO? No. But will I put off checking email and etc? Yes. Will there be bad TV and mindless scrolling (and some shopping!)? Yes. And time on the couch, cat cuddles, and not feeling guilty for not jumping out of bed. A day without my computer and being tied to my phone and worrying about getting it all done! (Ok, maybe I don’t know how to stop worrying but maybe that’s part of it!)

What do you do when you notice you’re a bit burned out and need some rest? Can you tell me on Monday?

Wishing us all a week of days off and amazing shoes! XO RA