Category: Sunday Chronicles

There are studies after studies that prove that one way that we get pleasure out of experiences is planning them and looking forward to them! So, as we stare down the beginning of another season, I can’t help but plan out what I want to do this summer. Many bloggers give you their Summer Bucket List (I Love Cupcakes and Cashmere and Joy the Baker) and I hope that their lists and mine inspire you to have a great summer–even if that only means relaxing by the pool!

Without further ado, my Summer Bucket List:

Travel

I travel a lot in general (spending time in my two cities) and while I plan on being in both CA and TX this summer, there are other places on my mind! I have an annual family trip (this year we may go to CO), I’m hoping to get to see some friends in the Midwest, I want a lone adventure on the beach, and am hoping a few girl trips fall together (wine tasting, we’re looking at you).

Try New WorkOuts
I love my SoulCycle and Pilates, and have no plans to quit them, but I’m looking to add a little variety! I’m excited to try boxing, barre, ModelFit and more! The great thing about Summer is that there’s an easy energy–which lends itself to trying new things without the pressure, and I love that! I’m excited to play with my workouts and schedule!

Read all the Books
I love books and reading and live among stacks of books and magazines I want to read (as well as shoes). This summer I hope to get caught up on my stacks–and I’ll be sharing what I read!

Eat
Summer is a time for gazpacho, Rose’, and Popsicles by the pool. I plan to get my fill of all of it!

Exploring
In all the cities I’m in, I always feel like there are so many things to do, and I tend not to make it to everything I want to try! So this summer, I’m going to make it a point to do one of those events each week! From movies and yoga in the park to new restaurants and museums, I want to try it all. Got a recommendation for me? I’d love to hear it!

I know, this seems general (and some of it is, Summer is a state of mind!) but I’m excited to get to the planning of each thing (all while leaving room for lazy afternoons)! I’d love to know: what are you planning this summer?

Wishing us all a week of summer plans and amazing shoes! XO RA

This week is swim week and I have so many exciting swimsuits to show you, as well as the roll out of a new passion project for me: Fashion Gives Back. I love my clothes and shoes, but also feel like as world citizens it’s our job to make the world a better place. I’m thrilled to be showcasing and working with brands that do both!

Loves, I know that I talk about rest and sitting still a lot here in our weekly “fireside chats”. (See here) This is mainly because even though I’m an introvert (I am, I promise!) who loves her time alone, and a creative who needs to recharge after her bouts of creating, I have a hard time sitting still. Everything about it-from letting myself just do nothing, to active mediation, to admitting that I need some down time– has been a struggle for me to give into. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve gotten better about this as I’ve gotten older, I actively acknowledge that I’m a better person when I get some time each week to sit still, and now schedule it for myself, but that doesn’t always mean it’s easy.

And loves, May is my busiest month of the year. I have something each weekend, trips, birthdays (not only can I name someone for each day this month, both my mommy and I have birthdays this week!), graduations, and it’s the beginning of wedding season. It’s almost as if this is the month of go-go-go before summer sets in. So, when you know that you need some time to sit still and yet your calendar is completely full (and your to-do list because of said calendar is miles long), what do you do?

I’m learning. I’m learning that everything is a practice, from my yoga to my spin to my business to my sitting still. And this means that some days are amazing, and some days I fall out of the pose. That I have to schedule my time to sit still the same way I do my birthday celebration, and that even when it doesn’t come easy, that sitting still is still something to do.

And what do I do when I sit still? Meditate (or try to), relax, do nothing, read, recharge, Netflix and chill, look for inspiration, try to turn my mind off, try to turn inward, and most importantly, try to just be. Have I mentioned that it’s not always easy. That getting caught up in being busy and all I “have” to do is much easier? But, that when I do let myself sit still we’re all better for it.

I’d love to know: what’s your journey with sitting still? Tricks?

Wishing us all a week of stillness, birthdays, and amazing shoes! XO RA

From girlhood I have had a complicated relationship with my hair, haven’t we all? Like it or not, women (and girls) get fed messages about their hair that affect how we see ourselves. Don’t believe me? Look at any princess movie or any doll, long, beautiful hair rules. We have stereotypes about hair color. There are documentaries about “Good Hair” (if you haven’t seen this film by Chris Rock, I highly recommend it, it’s a whole other level of hair drama that I can’t speak to, but I want to acknowledge). It’s “statement” for a woman to chose to have short hair. Hair is often our first attempt to change who we are or how we’re seen, and as something we deal with on a daily basis, can accepting our hair be a form of self acceptance?

I am a natural blonde (yes, it did get darker as I got older, and I now enhance it), and my hair, left to it’s own devices can range from curly to wavy. I kept it long as a kid, it’s been thick, it’s now fine, but I have a lot of it. And loves, my hair and I have fought, it may be what I’ve cried over most. When I was 10, I grew my hair to my waist, my grandma was my nanny, she hated long hair-she offered me $100 to cut it. I did cut it, I hated it, and then my mom wouldn’t let me accept the money. This may have set the tone for a complicated relationship. I started experimenting with color in college, I’ve been super blonde, brown, red, and mousy. I spent years paying to have my hair chemically straightened, fighting my curl every step of the way.

But loves, these experiments weren’t always fun. I worried about being perfect-the perfect shade, the perfect cut, the perfect style. I wanted (and maybe still want) my hair to be its best self, look natural, and yet control everything about it. This may be a great metaphor for my life. Yes, I try to control my hair, and I can freak out about it. Ladies, I know there are some of you who can cut, color, style with an ease and grace that I envy. You seem not to worry about the shade or cut, and I long to be like you. For me, just accepting my hair and trying not to white knuckle a hair appointment has been a journey.

About three years ago I was at a breaking point. I had been attempting to find a colorist and my hair was in a bad state- it was blonde, but had orange, green, and brown in it (from bad dye). I needed a cut badly, my last keratin had grown out, and my ends were a wreck. I was lucky enough to find two women, Colleen and Sulekha, who changed my hair (and my life), and have helped me on the way to accepting my own hair.

Saying I was nervous to start this journey is a severe understatement. Colleen wanted to layer my hair (I had awful visions of 90s hair) and she had to talk me into it, the first time she let my hair go really wavy I almost had a heart attack, I had all these “rules” about length (it had to go into a bun, which to be fair I still stick to). I was jumpy and though she claims I’m not a bad client, I’m sure I drove Colleen crazy. It took some hand holding, some styling, but loves, I now love my wavy hair, and I’m so grateful that Colleen showed me how to embrace it. And loves, the cut was a cakewalk compared to color. Have I mentioned that there was green and orange in my hair? That I want the “perfect, natural” shade of blonde? My colorist, Sulehka, not only had to retone and color correct my hair, she’s had to deal with me being anxious about shades, learning that quality of light can make your hair “seem” different”, to really work to earn my trust. I’m lucky she stayed with me. We’re at a point now where I can sit down and let her do her thing, which lucky for me is a natural-like shade of blonde that’s made some boyfriends believe that I don’t dye my hair.

I’m at a point where I love my hair, I’m embracing having wavy,blonde hair that I don’t really fix. I love my Juxatipositon of messy hair and couture, my hair feels a part of me now. There are still times I freak out, I want to control length, I see the color in reddish light and will worry about color for days on end’ but I’m learning to relax. I’m learning that my hair can be exactly what it is, and that’s ok. And I’m learning that accepting a part of me is so much easier than fighting it. AND that great hair really does make your life better!

So, loves, what are your hair woes? Can you let it go or do you control it? What do you think it says about us?

Wishing us all a week of amazing hair and amazing shoes! XO RA

If you want to give my miracle workers a try: Colleen can be found @cleencuts on Instagram, and Sulehka is at Sally Hershberger LA. Tell them Rachel sent you!

Loves, I am going to level with you. This is a shameless plug. I absolutely love what I do, this community we’re building, and sharing my love of fashion, etc with you. This is truly the best job I’ve ever had. However, running a small business isn’t always easy, there are costs and expenses. My goal is provide the highest quality site and fashion to you, and with this goal in mind I need your help. We (Investment Piece) is eligible for the FedEx Small Business Grant! Exciting, thrilling, and here’s where you come in! You vote for us! You can vote daily! Help me help you help me!

Your support, love, and vote are greatly appreciated! The link for the FedEx Small Business Grant vote can be found here

Thank you so much!

Wishing us all a week of grants and amazing shoes! XO RA

While in a spin class this week, my teacher (Pixie in LA at SoulCycle–she’s amazing, and that’s just one of my faves, I have them all over the country!) mentioned something that her yoga teacher said–about how we love to sit in our own dirty Bathwater. And loves, both teachers are right. The analogy was meant as a gentle reminder that we have a tendency to wallow in our stories, the bad things that happen to us, our reasons for not moving on; we all love to sit in bathwater. And while there is something amazingly comforting about sitting in bathwater, there comes a time when you have to get out.

By no means do I mean to imply that there aren’t times when wallowing isn’t needed; sometimes things are hard, it takes time to process and heal certain things. This is not about rushing yourself. This is not about forcing yourself before you’re ready. This is about not allowing yourself to sit in something that no longer serves you; be it a cycle, a relationship or job, or your bathwater. Knowing when it’s time to rinse off and move on can be hard, but when it is time, nothing feels as good.

This bathwater analogy hit home for you? It did for me. I know I have cycles to break, things I cling to, and am pretty great at sitting in things that no longer serve me. And while that is comfortable, it only hurts me. The thing is that sitting in the bathwater is tempting, we can tell ourselves that it’s good for us, that it’s cleansing. It can be. Baths are a great way to relax and bathe. However, there can be a fine line between relaxing and wallowing, washing and stewing. We can get caught up in the wallowing and stewing, thinking it’s relaxing and bathing, that we miss the part where we’re supposed to get out. In this analogy or real life, there’s always a time to get out of the tub; be it to go to bed, or to move on to the next adventure in life.

So, knowing what we know about bathwater, this might be a great week to ask ourselves: what are we really doing in the bath? Are we sitting in dirty bathwater? Is it time to rinse off and get out? What can let go of this week?

Wishing us all a week of rinsing off and amazing shoes! XO RA

We live in a world where FOMO (fear of missing out) is in the dictionary. I’m not 100% sure how I feel about it, but I know that it’s a real thing. We chatted Thursday about Festival Style, and I’m here at SXSW for the week. Between acting, fashion, LA, TX, festivals, film fests, parties, events, etc I always know of something going on, there are things I attend and have a great time at, things I skip, and times I get FOMO, worrying about all that I’m not doing. I get it. It seems like there is more and more to go to, and more and more to miss out on. But is it really missing out? And should we fear it?

I could go to an event every night, and there are times (like SXSW) when there are what seems like 12 events per night. There are times when I flat out can’t make every event, and times when I get sad about that. I don’t have answers about curing FOMO. I think it’s part of human nature to want to be in the know, to have fun, to want to be included (by our friends or society). In my 20s I tried to make every event, do all the things, be everywhere. I had some great times, but what happened most of the time was that I was tired. There are times when I still attempt to be at every little thing, and feel that pang when I don’t get an invite, or attend, what seems to be a great time. However, the older I get the more comfortable I am missing out–not that it’s great–but I know it isn’t the end of the world, and sometimes missing out leads to a great time. I’m by no means letting you know that I’ve cured FOMO, but I have developed some coping strategies.

One of the things about myself that I have learned to love as I have gotten older is that I’m an introvert. (If you know me in real life and are surprised: I’m outgoing, I love people, but I get my “recharge” from time alone). Needing time alone and purposely spending nights in sounds like a recipe for FOMO; however, my trick is to pick and choose wisely. I go to the events that I really want to. And I like my time alone, like watching movies, and reading. I recognize that my self care is an important part of my life; and trust that when I “miss out”, it’s not a loss as I’m enjoying what I’m doing. It’s about doing to do what really makes you happy that night, and being confident in that. Not to bury the lead here, but for me this really is the secret. I try to really spend my time in ways that I enjoy. This means I do different things each night. This can still mean I miss things, but if I’m enjoying myself at another event, or on my couch, is it really missing out? I still can over stretch myself, but I work hard not to; trust me, no one likes the me that goes and makes it to allll the events–she’s tired, has a people hangover, and isn’t fun.Respecting my need for balance, and choosing things I enjoy have really helped my FOMO.

However, with social media, it’s not hard to get FOMO at times. There are always pics and posts about the “greatest night ever” and it’s easy to fall into the trap of wanting to be a part of the action. I am very aware of the fact that what I’m about to say is “Mom” advice, but it works (go Mom!). Remember that we’re sharing our high lights on social media, and that “the best night ever” posts aren’t telling the whole story. No one posts about the long lines, crowds, spilled drinks, surge charges for Ride Shares, achey feet, and hangovers. So, yes, maybe people are out having fun with out you; but maybe people are also out not having fun without you. Not to sound like a broken record, but again, it’s only missing out if it’s something you really want to be doing. Even then, missing out for things like self care and other activities isn’t really missing out. Is it?

I don’t think FOMO is going anywhere, but I also know that the more I concentrate on filling my time with things I love to do, the less I worry about missing out. Maybe instead of worrying about FOMO, what if we embrace the ebb and flow? There are nights when you’re out and people are jealous of you balanced by the nights you’re home nursing FOMO. OR, let’s just say “forget about it” and spend time with people and activities that make us happy. This is where I admit that on Friday night I was in bed by 10–and I loved every minute of it.

What are your coping tips for FOMO? Do you get it, or do you have a cure for us?

Wishing us all a week of things that make us happy and amazing shoes! XO RA

Also–if you haven’t signed up for our newsletter please do (there’s a box on your left!) I have some exciting things happening and want you to be in the know!

Loves, it’s officially the week that we celebrate love, which is fantastic! I’m a big fan of love, in all its forms: self love, romantic love, friendship love, family love. Love is amazing and deserves to be celebrated. I have some thoughts on Valentine’s Day though (you can read them here and please click on the link to my friend’s article in that piece, it’s still a great read about this holiday). However, I’m not here to not Valentine’s, I’m here to talk about the love of your life. And this is the plot twist. What if you were the love of your life? Humor me. What if you talked to yourself like you do to a loved one? Treated yourself like you do a loved one? Protected and pampered yourself like you do a loved one? What would that look like?

I’m all for love. I really am. But often, when talking about love I feel like we leave out the self-love celebration. Self care can be hard (I wrote about that here), and that is important; but what is self love beyond that? Yes, let’s care for ourselves, but how exactly do we love ourselves? I hope that you have great friends, family and love life; but the one person who you can always count on is you. So how do we make ourselves the loves of our lives? I’m not 100% sure. However, I have some ideas.

Spend Time With You
Self dates, dates, alone time-whatever you want to call it, you need it. And not in the big way, though I see nothing wrong with taking yourself to a nice dinner, show, or museum; in fact, I recommend it. I’m talking about spending time with yourself. Get to know you, figure out what you really love, and what you don’t. Enjoy your own company: make yourself laugh, be there when you cry, treat yourself. You’ll see a ton of articles in the coming days about date night and how to treat that someone special. I say, take some time and treat yourself to the same things.

Learn to Say No to What Doesn’t Serve You

We’ve all had the friend who was dating or doing something that we knew was wrong for her; and sometimes we had to do the hard thing and let her know. You’re your friend, act like it. If there’s a relationship or job or activity that isn’t right for you, leave it. This can be easier said than done, and may take some time; but you deserve what’s best for you. Pro tip: Even if someone tries to shame or rebuke you for this, follow your heart, we have instincts for a reason.

Put Yourself First 

I’ve mentioned that I’m a “Sex and the City” fan, and I am (it was the first fashion blog, I have to be!). In the movie of the same name, Samantha (#selflovegoals) says to her boyfriend, “I love you, but I love me more”. And she admitted that “was not what she was supposed to say”.  Loves, this isn’t a call to leave all your relationships, be selfish, or act like a brat. This is the combination of self care, learning to say no, and time with you; you are important and you matter. However, if you don’t think that, no one else will. So, find ways to put yourself first in your life. Yes, this may mean saying no to relationships and jobs that aren’t for you. This may mean saying no to people you love. This may mean following your dreams when people think you’re crazy; or placing boundaries that people don’t like. Do it. Do it all. You are the love of your life, treat yourself like it.

 

How do you practice self love? I have to admit, my self love involves some shoes, wine, chocolate, and fantastic fashion; but this week, as I celebrate all the love in my life, I am going to take some time for me. I am the love of my life, and I deserve to be treated as such!

 

Wishing us all a week of love and amazing shoes! XO RA