Well. After a few years that have been unprecedented, this week added another world event that’s taken precedent over everything. And the attacks in Israel and Gaza should. I am not educated enough to know everything about this conflict- or even to have suggestions on how to fix it. All I know is: we all deserve a home, to be treated with dignity, and love. All I can hope is that somehow, we find a way to exist with each other and without hate. I don’t have answers but I can tell you, this isn’t a space for hate.
Yet- because of all this, talking about fashion hasn’t felt right the past few days. I haven’t been posting on social media much, I haven’t felt that style tips or sales or outfit posts have been the thing to chat about. (And we will. Life does have to go on- and fashion can be a form of resistance!) But, I have taken a step back this weekend, I’ve spent time with people and animals I love. I have baked bread and prayed. I have wanted my friends to know I’m with them, in this weird time. Because we are a business, we will be posting new tomorrow. This month we’ll chat more fashion Halloween costumes, fall outfits, sales and more. I just wanted you to know that while we will use fashion as a respite and an act of courage- that my heart is with everyone affected and with us all as we strive to find new ways to coexist and love.
Wishing us all a week of peace and amazing shoes! XO RA
As an actress, I’m sure that it’s no surprise to you that I’ve lied about my age at times. (Yep, the youngest you think I am- that’s it!) Age is an issue in our society. Especially as a woman. And I wish I could tell you that aging is not something that I worry about, that I just see aging as a privilege (because it is!), and I never let age affect any of my choices- fashion or otherwise.
But.
That wouldn’t be honest. The weird thing? I’m more confident the older I get. I’m more accepting of myself, I’m ok with my own needs and stating them, and while when I was younger there were things that I wore and did that I didn’t think twice about- there are things I would do and wear now with so much more confidence (which feels like I’m repeating myself- but maybe I’m so old I can’t think of another word!).
Here’s the thing. Youth is great, it does have that glow and it gives you an edge for some things. Age also can be great, and it has its own edge. I have loved being young and there are things I’m loving about being old. However.
I’m not 100% sure I know how to grow old graciously. Or dress for my age. Or not try too hard (another huge sin that would be another post). My mom and dad have both said that one of the weird things about aging is that you’re all your ages at once, from 17-70. They’re not the first to say that and I’m no where near 70. But I get it. Funny enough, if you were to ask me- from fashion to other choices- I would tell you to make the choice that makes you feel great, that you feel comfortable in, that brings you joy. I love IG and more accounts of “older” women, I love my own fashion sense, I have no issue with so many things.
So. Why is there this occasional voice in my head warning, worrying, and get worked up about being too old- to wear certain outfits. Example: I love this take on a shirt and pleated skirt. You could absolutely play with the length of the shirt- or layer a cardigan or blazer over. Yet. And I hate asking this- but am I too old for outfits like this?
I love this outfit. In my 20s I wouldn’t have worn it as I was so self conscious. And even being older- knowing the crop doesn’t HAVE to be that short, and that the waist of the skirt (if high enough) can cover a lot, I would love to wear something like this. Am I too old? Would I be judged for doing so? Would be seen as yet another woman desperately trying to cling to youth?
This is what I think constantly and at the same time I hate thinking it. And I have no answers. I’ve asked friends who told me that it would be fine to wear, I would tell friends and you that it’s fine to wear- so why do I worry about being too old?
And while this blog (and post) are so fashion focused, it’s not just fashion where I worry about being too old. It’s the beginning (early or not) of the holiday season. And I love holidays. From Halloween costumes to cooking at Thanksgiving to believing in Santa (his whole purpose is magic and presents- what’s not to believe?!), I enjoy the magic and the holiday feelings that come this time of year. Then. I’m not a mom, I’m a VERY fun Auntie. Am I too old to get into things the way I do?
IF I am too old for all of this- from holidays to outfits, what’s the answer? Do we grow smaller? Give up parts of ourselves? Or is this all a worry that we only think of- remember no one else judges us like we do! I truly have no idea. This isn’t some place where I have big thoughts because, really and truly, I’m figuring this out as I go along- usually day by day.
I want to be the kind of confident that wears what I feel good in and brings me joy, and gives myself fully to experiences. I’m still battling the voice in my head that says I’m too old for certain things (and I think the hard thing is that I do think some things are too young for me– which may also be a completely different post!).
Do you deal with this voice in your head- do you worry about being too old? How do you deal with it? And do we think I should wear this outfit? I want to hear your thoughts!!
Wishing us a week of ageless confidence and amazing shoes!! XO RA
It’s October 1st- which means it’s the beginning of Spooky Season:
-Hocus Pocus (at least for me) is now the go-to movie
-Halloween becomes the focus. There are many thought pieces about what Halloween is a the best: including but not limited to: it’s about community, you don’t have to spend time with your family if you don’t want, there are so many ways to celebrate. For me Spooky Season means Fashion Halloween (starts tomorrow!) which is the ultimate marriage of my loves of acting and fashion. I can’t wait to share my costumes with you.
-Planning costumes is also what makes spooky season special to me. I love the costumes – wearing them, seeing the kids in them, all of the costumes. Please tell me all about your costumes or let me know if you need help with yours!
-Fall treats! If you love the candies or not, it’s time for ciders and pumpkin bread, pumpkin spice, apple and pear everything.
And let’s be honest, Spooky Season is just a hop, skip and barely a jump into the HOLIDAY season. In fact, I’ve already seen holiday decorations out in store. (While I wasn’t surprised, it still feels way too early). I also love the holiday season, this year I have some specific goals for Spooky Season. All can be summed up by saying I want to slow down and enjoy it. This weekend – while at an event with my sister, wine tasting with my family- I felt myself rushing through things. Worrying about pics. Thinking about the next thing. At this time of year, I feel that we never have to worry. The next thing is coming. We’re going to be busy. Rushing through any thing- from our fave scary movie to pics to tasty treats robs no one but ourselves.
SO this spooky season, I want to enjoy it. I want to slow down. Be present. Enjoy. Savor. This is the season to really focus on what’s in front of us- be it Halloween, or pumpkin, or witches, or just enjoying the fall-from sweaters to hay. Holiday season will come. While it’s here, let’s focus on the spooky (whatever that means to you!).
If you need me, I’ll be in an elaborate costume, or in a graphic tee, sipping apple cider, watching Hocus Pocus every chance I get, and savoring the moment. How are you spending Spooky Season?
Wishing us all a week of enjoying the season and amazing shoes! XO RA
I wrote this about a year ago. At the time I was in desperate need of some structure. I found a system that worked (mostly for me). Then. life. A new day (side) gig. Changes in home life and work life. And I find myself again needing some structure. Needing a way to get myself on a routine- as it turns out keeping me on a routine is part of my self care. Here are still my thoughts on it:
What’s that saying? Danger can hurt you but routine can kill you? Something like that. And I get it- we don’t want our routines to be a rut. Ruts, more than routines, I think are what can kill us. But- what if instead of a routine, you’re in chaos (aka no routine and nothing to anchor you). Isn’t that the most dangerous of all?
And, for a while, it feels as if chaos is where I’ve been, so I’m yearning for routine.
It started in the middle of lockdown. I’m an introvert, and have always worked from home. Yet, with no schedule (like my gym classes) to really anchor me, I become a bit all over the place. There were nights when I would stay up so late (not doing anything but watching reruns), and then nights when I went to bed at 8pm. Days when I would get a ton of deadlines met and days when the most productive thing I would do is have coffee. I get it- we were all (and still are) going through things and dealing as we could.
But. What I’ve learned about myself? I need routine, a schedule, something to anchor me. I need to know what days I’m shooting and which I’m writing, when my workouts are, and (for sanity) to have a “regular” bedtime.
(of course with a routine it makes the days when you deviate from it SPECIAL. But you have to have the routine first!)
So, starting this week I’m getting myself back on a routine. I’m actually excited about it- as I feel as if a routine will help me thrive, and not just survive. Naturally, we all need different structure, but how I’m going about it is I’m giving myself some guidelines, with the understanding that sometimes they will be broken, but with the intent to stick to them 98% of the time. What am I doing? Bedtimes (by 10), workouts (booked and the ones at home given a time), scheduling days for all my activities: cleaning, laundry, shooting, admin, etc. It’s not to suck the fun out of anything, though it does feel a bit like the 2 weeks before school when my mom would make us get back on a school routine instead of a summer one, but to help me be my best self. Therefore, able to have more fun.
And I’m adult enough to know doing what’s best for me is fun! (And yet not adult enough that I think this decision warrants something new!)
What are your routines? Do you find that you need them? Or are you ok just playing it by ear all the time? I would love to know about it!
Wishing us all a week of what’s best for us and amazing shoes! XO RA
My parental (Grandma) and maternal (Mimi) grandmothers
I know that some of these “holidays” aren’t really big deals. See “red wine day” (not that I didn’t celebrate), “French fry day”, “pancake day”, etc, etc, etc. However, as someone who was lucky enough to be close to her grandparents, and miss them now that they’re gone, Grandparents Day for me is actually something I’m into this year.
My maternal grandmother, my Mimi, was a bit like my nanny growing up. She drove us to school and picked us up (making sure she was first in the pick-up line), made dinner, used to pay me $1 to eat a taco at dinner (instead of just queso. I also got paid $1 not to tell my mom we watched soap operas with her!). Mimi taught me about mixing patterns, red lipstick, the wonders of Vaseline as a night cream, and her infamous pecan pie recipe.
My paternal grandmother, my Grandma, taught me to quilt, make hand pies, made the best toast (I know, completely random. She also made so many amazing things- but I often miss her toast!). Grandma taught me to indulge my artistic side, laugh when you can, and indulge while keeping to your schedule.
My Papa (paternal grandfather, not pictured!) was a bear of a man (to others) but to me was the person who would tell me to give his neck some love. He worked/owned a construction company but my most vivid memories of him are watching sports (silently) on his lap/chest with his miniature poodle (Cheerie, who wore bows and had her nails painted). Papa taught me about juxatipositons, home repair, and boundaries with compromise.
I know that families are complex and relationships are hardly ever linear. No matter you’re feelings on holidays like Grandparents Day, I hope that you’ve been lucky enough to have the love of a great grandparent. And if not, that in your adult life you’ve made a chosen family that provides you with that kind of love. I adore you, and would even wait in line to pick you up.
Wishing us all a week of strong love and amazing shoes!
Xo RA
Each season I attempt to make a “bucket list” of things I want to do, as well as a wishlist of all the things I want to buy (and wear and shoot). Even with the best of intentions, I’ve never had a year where I’ve been able to do everything on my list(s). Maybe it’s me and I aim too high- or as I like to think, the time and the days just get away some times.
Especially this year, my lists have a lot left on them. Between my aunt’s death, then being sick, it feels as if the past month or so has been a time of regrouping/resting rather than making progress. And months like that happen. But as the seasons prepare to change (though I’m under no illusion that it will magically get cooler after Labor Day. You could count on one hand the number of days we’ve had this summer under 100 degrees!) how do we reconcile the things we didn’t get to?
Perhaps that sounds a bit dramatic. As I previously stated, it’s not like Labor Day is an official “switch”. There is still time to be in the water and buy amazing summer(ish) styles (maybe even on sale!). Yet, the fact is there are things I won’t get to, things to let go of- some of which are simply as my attention has moved onto other things. And some things I’m genuinely sad to have not gotten to or bought. Seasonal transitions can be a lot of things, but one of them is a bit melancholy. There is a bit of sadness in all the things we didn’t get to, or saying goodbye to great times.
(Fun fact: I can be a bit sentimental so maybe I do get a bit attached!)
The other thing about a new season coming? The things we didn’t get to give way to the things we want to do now. Often how I make peace with what I missed out on is getting excited about all the things I want to do in the coming season. Or all the things I want to wear, sometimes they’re the same thing. Another way I handle the thigns I didn’t get to? Shopping end of season sales (because so much can be worn in more than one season!) and starting my experience list for the next year. Many times it just means that I realize what I want to prioritize (aka next summer I am determined to spend more time in the water!) or what doesn’t really matter (maybe I don’t need every swimsuit). That combined with the excitement of new boots (or new ways to wear the boots I have!) and the things I didn’t get to don’t sting as much. There are always things I’m sad I missed out on, but these methods help me.
What do you do with all the things you didn’t get to this season? How do you deal with it?
Wishing us all a week of crossed off to-dos and amazing shoes! XO RA
Well. This was not how I planned things to go. While I’ve been under the weather for about a week, I had been testing negative for C19; and had thought I was starting to feel better. Then. I ret
ested on Saturday (best practices for newer variants is to test on day 6/7 of symptoms/exposure as positive tests are lagging. Also FlowFlex at home tests are supposed to be the most sensitive. )
I’ll be vulnerable- this is my second dance with Ms. Rona. I had Omicron over a year ago. My case was mild, but I had been dealing with long lasting effects. I’m a bit scared to be sick again, especially when it felt like I was finally getting back to myself. Another vulnerable moment? Covid is on my Aunt’s death certificate. This is scary to me.
I am doing things a bit different this time with C19. Right away I got an RX for Paxlovid (not available before). Last time, I was so determined to “get back” that I perhaps did too much. I worked through it, I worked out, I pushed. This time? I’m going to take it a bit easy. Not rush to overdo or get back, but truly let myself rest and heal.
This treatment plan also affects us. Between my aunt’s death and my being sick, I’m a bit behind in shooting. And outfits. And getting dressed. I’ really hoping to rest u, feel better by next weekend and be able to shoot (and get dressed) by next weekend- giving us new content starting next week! This week? It’ll be a replay of some of my fave late summer outfits- from swimsuits to dresses. Shopping options will be updated, and new thoughts may appear. (of course both on the LTK and ShopStyle apps I’ll be posting my sale and fall shopping picks, so follow me there- @racheladelicia). I hope that it’s not too disappointing, and that you’ll check out some of past faves here!
In the meantime, I’ll be resting up, and making sure that I get you new and amazing content- and me well- ASAP.
I have no idea what the secret to life is- or if there is one. However, I think the most fervent question that life asks us is :”Am I my brother’s keeper?” And I think the answer is yes. We’re here to take care of each other and walk each other home. Take care of you and yours and your neighbors out there! And feel free to do it in amazing shoes!
XO RA
There’s a saying that dressing well is a form of good manners. And I agree. I’ll admit that I have a tendency to overdress at times; but in general, being appropriately dressed for occasions is important. You wouldn’t wear your bikini to a funeral. Unless it was a pool funeral?
However, there’s a step beyond dressing well or appropriately. Dressing to theme. Lately, with certain events happening we’ve been seeing it a lot. I read an editorial about how some guy thought all the pink and black and special outfits around isn’t his thing. It is mine! Maybe it’s the sorority girl in me, or the actress, or the fashionista that loves curating outfits- but I think dressing to theme, dressing for events is FUN.
And I, for one, vote for dressing for events to be back! And I especially vote yes to dressing to theme!
Dressing to theme truly plays on everything I love about fashion. You get to curate a look, be creative with styling and interpretation, and when you dress to theme for an event- you get to be a part of a group. I’m not promoting anything (go strike!) but I will tell you going to the movies, seeing everyone dressed in their “take” on the theme was thrilling. It felt like we were all together, and a part of something.
I know that not every event or outing has a theme. And there are some themes that would just be ridiculous to dress to. In no way, shape or form am I suggesting that you dress as a pepperoni on pizza night or anything like that. But fun events? Like a movie. Or parties that truly have a theme? Why not dress to it? Enjoy it? Revel in being a part of something. Find camaraderie with people who love a thing that you love.
And perhaps the thing that you love might be dressing to theme?!
Did you dress up to see anything special this summer? From movies to concerts to parties- I want to hear about all of your theme dressing!
Wishing us all of week of being on theme and amazing shoes! XO RA
I’ve had one of those weeks. Well, not one of THOSE weeks, but one of those weeks that did not go to plan. At all. In any way. Which can be incredibly frustrating, and leave you feeling behind or worse. But, there are times when things are not going to plan, when it can be a gift. Right? At least that’s the mindset I’m going with.
This past week I had plans, and ways that I thought things would go. As the saying goes, “Want to make God laugh? Tell him your plans”. I’ve found it to be true over and over again. This week I had to deal with my own grief with my Aunt passing, as well as help plan for her service. I had to juggle a new day job while planning ahead here. I needed to adjust as new info came in on both personal and professional levels. I had to cancel my plans, I had to rearrange my schedule, I had to take time for me. And while there were times that having to put all my plans on hold was upsetting, there are times when things not going to plan was the best thing to happen.
I’ve been thinking a lot about how I think about things (mindset) and how I roll with the punches. Being a planner, I can sometimes get a little (a lot) upset when things don’t go according to my plan. Trusting that I’m always in the right place at the right time, that things will always work out for the best, and that the unplanned can be gift doesn’t always come naturally. I work at it. I’m getting better at it.
Because, the thing is, not going to plan is a gift. Sometimes it means that we get something so much more amazing than what we had planned. I had to rearrange things this week. I missed some things that I was looking forward to. And, I felt behind as I didn’t do my plan. But you know what? I got to rest. I got to really look at some things and I got the chance to do some self care. Work worked out, and while there are things I’m playing catch up on, I’m full of new ideas and in a place where I’m rested enough to get more done.
There are times when our plans won’t get us where we want to be, and we have to trust that things not going to plan will. I’m working on it. How about you?
Wishing us all a week of great events (planned or not) and amazing shoes! XO RA
If you’re into astrology, or you have a friend (me!) who is, you know that Venus (planet ruling beauty, love, and money) went retrograde yesterday. While I’m not one who thinks that all retrogrades are bad, or one who should give relationship advice (search ex-files in my posts) I do know that things returning is may be a theme in the next few weeks. Who comes back may be something you need to deal with; I’m more interested in the ones we want back.
And for our purposes, I’m talking about the clothes that we cleaned out from our closets that we regret. This isn’t anti-closet clean out. I wish I were better at it, I’m slowly doing some of mine, and I do think reselling or giving your clothes to new homes is one of the most fun ways to recycle. But. Admit it, there are things that you’re cleaned out that you ended up missing and wanting back.
Or maybe it’s just me?
Off the top of my head I can name at least 2 big things that I miss and regret cleaning out. The above dress- which I know you really can’t see- but it was a white with huge polka dot linen mini dress from Jcrew. And then there’s :
this flight suit which I cannot express how much I miss.
I don’t know that I have advice on how to deal with a lost love who comes back or win back any lost love you want to come back- but I do have advice about getting back the clothes you lost. Resale and vintage sites. All of them. (If this feels overwhelming please reach out and I’m happy to help!) From my locals to online I search by general description, labels, design name if I have them, let sellers know what I’m looking for, all of the things. Perhaps it’s Venus Retrograde or the firm belief that we always find what we’re meant to, I do believe that if you’re meant to be reunited with a fantastic piece of fashion that you perhaps parted with too soon it’s out there for you.
This is also my theory on searching vintage and for items from seasons past. If it’s meant to be yours, it’s out there. And loves, it’s usually out there.
I can’t say that this Venus Retrograde will bring our love/beauty/money lives happy endings, but I know that it’s only been one day and I’ve already found the JCrew dress I want back. Who couldn’t help but feel confident with that?
Is there anything you’re looking for out there? How do you handle it?
Wishing us all a week of the perfect reunions and amazing shoes!
XO RA
