Classic, Not Boring

InvestmentPiece, Fashionblogger, CA, TX, easy, Chanel, Jcrew, high fashion
InvestmentPiece, Fashionblogger, CA, TX, easy, Chanel, Jcrew, relaxed
InvestmentPiece, Fashionblogger, CA, TX, easy, Jcrew, Citizens Jeans, relax
InvestmentPiece, Fashionblogger, Chanel, easy, Jcrew, boots, high fashion

Many times I think we take our classics for granted, we call them boring. It happens with books, art, and for our purposes- outfits. A button down, a pair of jeans, and boots are a classic combination. It will never fail you. Simple, easy, and you don’t have to think too hard about it. Classic. But not boring.

The thing about classics is that within a no-fail formula is so much room to explore, to create, to be extra. Yes, here I’m in a classic combo- jeans/button down/boots. But. The jeans fit perfectly, the boots are anything but boring (over the knee! the cap toe! the design!), the details on the shirt! This outfit is far from boring, and feels like me, even if I’m technically following a formula.

So many of what makes an outfit exciting, or pop, comes down to our details. How do we express ourself within the confines of something that has been done before? What makes a classic feel new? This is about an outfit, but it also applies to our weeks, how we spend our days.

We’re at a time in the year, the winter blahs, and the pandemic, when things may be feeling a bit stale. To stay warm you may be wearing all the sweaters and all the coats. To stay safe you may feel like everything is a bit boring. I get it. Personally, I’ve felt like I’ve been in a rut, and have been cooped up at home lately so nothing feels new. Instead of giving into that, I’m attempting to look at my life (which outfits are a large part) and see what I can work with, what I make exciting. There are classics (routines) that I have and yet within them lay all sorts of possibilities.

Those are what I’ll be looking for all week.
What’s your favorite classic outfit combo and how do you make it your own? I would love to hear all about it!
XO RA

This outfit is made from older JCrew pieces, and the most fab Chanel boots I found resale, but I’ve linked similar pieces for your shopping pleasure below. I know what you choose won’t be boring!
Note: This post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!

Ex-Files: Coming on too Strong

Investment Piece: Ex Files

Loves! It’s time for our monthly dose of dating horror stories: The Ex-Files! In my ultimate attempt to become Carrie Bradshaw, and satisfy my friends’ need to hear my awful dating stories (and sadly, there are a lot), we give you: Ex Files, dating horror stories. Yes, these stories really happened, yes, names/dates/places have been changed to protect those involved, and yes, if you wanted to be remembered well, behave better. Missed last month’s gem? You can get your fix on here.
Happy Reading!! XO RA

The One(s) Who Came On Too Strong

I have a tiny confession. While planning and writing this horror story, I had a realization: there are people for whom I am the one who came on too strong. There are times when I have been the over-texted, the one who had a harder time letting go, the one who thought that perhaps there was something more. I like to think that I’m great at taking notes, and that when men have let me know that I’m a bit much that I can text less. (As an actress, I’m a great adjuster.) And as I cringed at some of my over-eagerness, and wanted to apologize (but let’s be honest, there’s no great way to do that), I promised that I wouldn’t judge a guy for doing the same to me; because even if it’s annoying, someone really wanting to chat or spend time with you is lovely. This story isn’t about that. This about when they go beyond that. Collected here are men who have gone above and beyond coming on strong, those who even when they were told flat out they were coming on too strong just kept going.

Hear me out: I think men can be creepier than women. Much creepier. And I as I get older, some of these men think that their creepiness is becoming. It’s not.

More than once, both I and girlfriends, have been on the receiving end of such great pick lines as “We should get married”, or “I want you to have my babies”. Someone told men that women like commitment and some men run with that. The catch? This commitment to commitment is creepy if you have only known the person 5 mins. When I don’t know your middle name and you suggest me taking your last name, the room starts feeling hot and I find it hard to breathe. I also lose interest in learning your middle name. One man, let’s call him Bob, used this tactic on our first date. Bob seemed nice, until half way through our lunch when we began mentioning how compatible we were and how marriage was on the table. I excused myself to use the restroom/have a panic attack/call a rescue. Bob seemed to think it was normal to spend 10 mins in the restroom and didn’t say a word about it, or the fact that I cut our date short. In subsequent texts, I let Bob know that he might be looking for more than I could offer; he proceeded to rant that women always think commitment first. Bob, dear, women who date you think that because you bring it up.

An offshoot of the men who bring of commitment right away, are the men who “we” and relationship you too early. The men who say “I miss you” after one night, who make lists of things “we” will do together after one coffee. Maybe they don’t mention commitment, but they act like your boyfriend, while you’re still trying to decide if they’re boyfriend material. My friend Stella encountered one of these gentlemen, we’ll call him Tim, a few years ago. They met online and after some great chats and one night drinking, Tim made the journey to his hometown for the Christmas holidays. Cue the “I miss you”, “I wish you were here”, and “We should do xyz when I get back” texts. I know, these can seem sweet, but when you don’t know someone, they are overwhelming. Tim got back to town, found out that Stella had coffee with a male friend, lost it on her for “cheating”, then spent a week sending weepy messages about them working it out. Sadly, for Tim, Stella didn’t appreciate him coming on so strong and Stella and Tim didn’t make it.

Ironically enough, the above behavior is the type that women get warned about: don’t mention commitment, don’t come on too strong, don’t let a man know that you think he’s your boyfriend till he says he is. So that men are acting this way is both fascinating and off putting. The lesson? Maybe we should let all relationships take their time? However, this last short tale in this series is beyond all that. One of the few times I know I have made a man cry, and still baffling to me.

I had known Eric for years, and while there was always a flirtation, nothing ever came of it. I didn’t think anything of it, having a flirt buddy is fun, but apparently Eric always thought that something would (was) happening. He would often mention that he was going to ask me out, but never did. Last Christmas, at the last minute Eric texted me, asking me to be his date to his company holiday dinner. Unfortunately, the date didn’t work for me and I had to decline. Eric took the news well and I forgot about it. Till a week later, when I got a weepy message from Eric about how all his work buddies would have their fiancées or wives their, and he was upset that his fiancé couldn’t make it. I genuinely thought he had called the wrong number; this was a man who I had never been on a date with, much less gotten engaged to. But alas, no, a conversation led to the revelation that Eric thought we had been dating the whole time, and thought we were getting married. Asking someone one by letting them know that you’re engaged (which only happened in your head) is not a way to get a girlfriend, as it turns out. This was beyond coming on strong, I still don’t know how to categorize it.

Men that I’ve texted too much, at least I didn’t try to involve you in wedding planning??

XO RA

Tailoring

One of the ways to get amazing fitting clothes that make you look amazing? Tailoring. Buy things that fit your widest part, then have them altered to fit every where else. Tailoring has been on my mind lately- not just because it’s a great way to have clothes that fit, but because of the post-pandemic world. No one knows exactly what the world will look like- or what we’ll be wearing. One article I read floated the idea that what we may see are clothes that are sold in more general sizes, meant to be tailored to you after you purchase them. And I have to say, I love this idea! I’m reposting my orginal thoughts on tailoring and adding in some links for what you can have tailored- or tailor yourself!

Investment Piece: logo week: Fendi pants

I’m in the process of having some pants tailored. As in, almost remade. It’s been a long process, there are times when it’s felt too long. However, every time my tailor and I get closer to the finished product, I can’t help but get excited. I also have to remind myself that working with my tailor is a process and that a great tailor is a great investment! You are getting so much more about my “new” old pants, but first, let’s chat tailoring.

One of my very first posts was centered around “great investments”, one of which I thought was a tailor.
(See the original article here) And I still hang onto that thought. If you’re investing in your closet, a great tailor is a must have! Yes, for mends like buttons, zippers, holes, and hems you might be able to do the work yourself; however, I find that a professional often does it faster and better, and ensures that the item that needs mending doesn’t spend the rest of its life on my closet floor.

But a tailor is so much more. A great tailor can remake a garment for you–nip or let out the waist, or various parts, tighten or loosen, lengthen or shorten. You look best in clothes that fit you best and a tailor can help you get there!

Investment Piece, high fashion, tailoring, purple, Mary McFadden, pleats, CA, TX
This number needed to be slightly let out in the bust–and even with the pleating, no problem for a great tailor.

Investment Piece, fashion, blogger, CA, TX, HM, floral, high fashion
This dress (seen here) was taken in at the waist, and the back slit was lengthened.

The great news about a great tailor is that they can really transform a garment into something special. Which is amazing for all those things that you try on that just need a little something done. However, tailors aren’t always miracle workers and much like any important relationship (I’m looking at you, hairdressers) communication is key. So how can you best work with your tailor? Glad you asked!

Be Realistic

If something is 2 sizes too small and has no extra fabric in it, your tailor cannot make it your size. However, there may be times when your tailor has to tell you “no”. Certain fabrics, certain cuts and drapes, they just don’t mix. What you envision may not be doable. So ask questions like “Can we do this?” “What will this look like?” “What are my options here?” A great tailor will be honest and lay out your options, and may even have some suggestions that you didn’t even think of!

Let them know YOUR Preferences
I like my waists high and nipped. I think, for my body type, it looks best. I also like my sleeves to come down to my wrists. My tailor knows me and works with me to get the looks I like. But, even when we try things on it’s on me to be vocal–I like this, I don’t like this. Your tailor can’t please you if they don’t know what you want.

Fittings. More than one Fitting

Ok, some things don’t need a fitting–much less two. But some really do. If you’re altering a garment in a major way I would suggest more than one fitting to make sure everything is perfect. And move in it–raise your arms, turn, sit down–all of it. Make sure that the fit and movement are what you want. And talk to your tailor about what you’re seeing, and ask what they’re seeing!

Most of this comes down to talking to your tailor–about likes, fit, etc. The more honest you are, and the more they are honest with you, the better fit you will get!

Here are a few articles about what things are easy to tailor (and even how to tailor some things yourself!):
Useful Links on Tailoring Your Clothes
The Power of Tailoring
Which Alterations are the Easiest
How to do Alterations
Taking Measurements for Fit
And Alerations 101

I hope these tips help! Happy Tailoring!

XO RA

Fashion Stories: Fashion Books

investment piece, fashion, blogger, high fashion, fashion stories, fashion books

I truly believe that the fashion we wear is one of the ways that we tell our stories. Yet, I can’t help but also loving fashion stories- aka books about fashion. From biographies of iconic designers to histories of textiles, coffee table books to novels, reading about fashion not only inspires my outfits, but helps me understand fashion from POVs I sometimes didn’t even know existed. This past month, it feels as if we’ve lost a lot of fashion icons- from Andre Leon Talley to Mugler, and reading about them helps me feel as if we still have them.

Another great thing about books? They make great gifts, they are one-size-fits-all, and they let you own a bit of fashion history. Below are fashion books that are on my wishlist for Valentines Day (and beyond), maybe there is something for you or someone you love may love!
XO RA

Note: This post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!!

Velvet and Florals

Investment Piece: fashion blogger, cold weather, vintage, YSL, Valentino, CA, TX, high fashion
investment Piece: Velvet and Florals
Investment Piece, Fashionblogger, Valentino, high fashion
InvestmentPiece, Fashionblogger, cold weather, vintage, high fashion, YSL, vintage, CA, TX

It is incredibly tempting when the the temps drop to abandon all style for warmth. As someone who hasn’t spent a lot of her time in true “winter” weather, it’s especially hard to not dress in only sweats (multiple) and big coats (because, yes I’m cold all the time). So, when I find pieces that let me retain some style and stay warm, I go back to them again and again.

Also, who can resist velvet and florals? Especially when they’re this chic?

Investment Piece, Fashionblogger, vintage, cold weather, high fashion, YSL, Valentino, CA, TX

A trench is an investment I will always endorse, but trenches like this- with a bit of personality and texture? I love them. Velvet isn’t something I would think of for coats, mainly as I worry about it getting wet. BUT. This coat is so warm, and I love that the details, the slits, the buttons, the edging make it special enough to wear as a dress, but warm enough so I don’t regret not wearing sweats. And while florals may be more associated with spring, on boots they’re a bit of a statement. Obviously made for warmth, but made for fashion as well.

I’m always, always going to chose warmth over fashion (easy to say when we’re not going out much). Even with my shorter, not as warm outfits, I’m known to bring a big coat, or wear tights, or layer more than may be necessary. Sometimes winter dressing feels frumpy and big, and there are times when you may feel as if you have to choose between your style and not freezing. Maybe velvet and florals aren’t for you- there’s cords, stripes, faux fur, puffers, polka dots and more to choose from. What I recommend is finding pieces that let you keep warm and expressing your style. It’s been my joy to experience winter (now and again) and an even bigger joy to find warm clothes that look like me.

Investment Piece, fashion, blogger, high fashion, fashion stories, velvet and florals

I would love to hear about your winter staples from coats to boots. The pieces that keep you warm, the ones that keep you stylish, and the ones that do both!
XO RA

Note: This velvet trench is vintage YSL (from the 1970s) and Valentino Floral Boots from the 2015 season, but I have found you similar!
This post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!

Sunday Chronicles: Sick

Investment Piece: Lady of the Lake

I’ve spent the past week sick (luckily not that), but still sick- achy, stuffy, and just enough brain fog that work (and life) has become a bit more difficult than usual. It’s most likely just allergies (Cedar Fever, if you don’t live in a place with CF be grateful! I never had allergies as a kid, or most of my adult life. These started a few years ago and have been getting progressively worse!) but as a result of how I was feeling, I basically spent the last week in bed or on the couch.

And, like anything, staying in and resting is fun when it’s a choice- it gets old when it’s all you can do. My energy was pretty low, so even things like walks I love were not an option. And my brain was a bit all over the place, so anything that required a lot of thought (even reading or watching for pleasure) were pretty much out of the question.

So, you may be wondering what I did! In all honesty, not a lot. I read some and did watch some TV, but mainly I did nothing other than dream about what I would do once I felt like I was me again. The odd thing about getting sick at the beginning of the year is that it throws off whatever habits you’ve been developing. This year I had goals to get into a more consistent shooting/writing schedule- this week I had to cancel every thing (some super exciting!) that I had on my calendar.

And while that was awful, it clarified some things for me. This year I wanted to bring the joy back to my dressing and structure to my work schedule. Being at home this week, I spent some time “window” shopping online, looking at outfits I like, day dreaming about outfits. Sometimes your creativity needs a little break to come back to you- maybe it’s all the allergy meds, but I’m energized to put together outfits, places for shoots, and ideas on how to make my schedule work better for me.

Actually, this week “down” has clarified a lot for me, and made clear which goals I do really want to do. I do want to ensure I get in a great workout each day (I’ve missed them! They help me clear my head) and now I know I want to get up earlier to get them in, and have ideas about what things I want to try. I have ideas about how to rearrange my space, my financial goals. This week made it clear that I want to spend more time with people I love. I also made lists of a ton of things to read and watch.

And I wasn’t even THAT sick comparatively, however, being forced to really take time out, to almost be forced to do nothing is a great time to think about everything. At the beginning of January I spent some time really thinking about my goals, this week feels like my first time choosing them.

Today, I’m hoping to be up and about. To get a workout in (my first in a week!). To do my hair, to get dressed, to begin setting plans in motion. If you’ve been sick recently, you know that may be a big to-do list, but I’m hopeful. Getting sick wasn’t in my plans, but in some ways, I’m so grateful that I got to sit and really get clear on what I want this year to look like. And I’m grateful for rest.

I’m hoping that you are feeling great and that, hopefully without a sick week, your plans for this year are being set in motion.

Wishing us all a week of great health and amazing shoes!
XO RA

Year of the Tiger

While we collectively celebrated the new year on 1/1, on 2/1 it’s another “new year”- the lunar new year, or the Chinese New Year. 2022 is the year of the Tiger (water Tiger, to be exact), and in the Chinese zodiac tigers are known as strong, brave, and able to exorcise evil. Red is the good luck color of the Lunar New Year, and wearing tigers and red this year can be considered to bring you good luck throughout 2022 (at this point, I’ll take all the good luck we can!).

(I find Chinese astrology fascinating- you can read more about it here. I’m an Earth Sheep (or goat) and the signs point to me having a good year- I’m hoping that’s true for us all!)

If you’re into the astrology, you’re simply wanting another ritual for good luck, or a reason to shop seasonal and special, the Year of the Tiger has something for you. Brands, from skincare to shoes to dresses, have specialty items to celebrate the Lunar New Year. Below I’ve rounded up my faves.

Will shopping ensure good luck for this Tiger year? These’s only one way to find out!

Note: This post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them.Thank you for your support!

investment Piece: Year of of the Tiger

One of my favorite Year of the Tiger products are these slippers from my beloved Sarah Flint. Fuzzy lined for warmth, arch support, and in a great red suede with that embroidered Tiger. You’ll be brave both pre and post coffee! (Also these would look chic with denim!)
Buy them here and use code SARAHFLINT-BAINVESTMENTPIECE for $50 off!

Beauty
I know, it seems a bit odd to mention Tigers and skin care (or lipsticks) in the same breath, but each lunar new year one of my favorites are the beauty limited editions. From bronzers in the shape of tigers to serums with the red (for good luck), these are the Year of the Tiger limited editions I’m shopping!

Shoes and Bags
From purses shaped like tigers to shoes with tigers on them, to reds, these Year of the Tiger accessories will bring you luck and keep you chic all year long!
These are my favorite from Kate Spade and Tory Burch (both brands do a great job at celebrating the Tiger!)

Clothing
Dress like a tiger, have a tiger on your clothes. Either way, these pieces from Kate Spade, Tory Burch or COS will have you in a celebratory mood, incredibly on trend, stylish- and maybe a bit lucky. If the Year of the Tiger brings good clothes to all of us I won’t be upset about it!

What do you think will bring you the most luck for the year of the Tiger? I’m betting on all of them- and I can’t wait to see us all in various reds and tigers starting 2/1/22. Happy Year of the Tiger loves!

XO RA

Day OFF

Investment Piece: Day Off

In the US we’re celebrating MLK Day (and it’s a great day to support Voting rights and love your neighbor!), some of us have the day off- some of us don’t. Last week I began feeling a bit under the weather – so far it’s been all allergies, but in an attempt to stave off everything else and not spread anything around, I’m staying in bed. Resting. Preparing. Shaking things off. You can shop my sale picks in either the @shop.LTK or @shopstyle apps. I’ll be back and hopefully feeling better by Wednesday.

Be kind and wear your best shoes out there!

Xo RA

Sunday Chronicles: Returns

Investment Piece: Fall Party

After the holiday season- the gift gifting and the sale shopping comes a season of returns. None of us give with the intention that our gifts won’t hit the mark (and few of us shopping thinking it won’t work out), but sometimes, returning a gift (or purchase) is the best thing. I know this. I’ll be the first to tell you that if something doesn’t fit or hit the mark, that you should return it- and of course then I will tell you to get things that do hit the mark and fit! If I feel this way, if I can acknowledge that returns are a part of shopping, why do I sometimes have a hard time with returns?

(And I’m really hoping I’m not the only one!)

When we talk about returns, a lot that is difficult to deal with is the actual process. Going to the store, or mailing it in, waiting for a refund or a replacement item. At times returns are annoying at best, and a major inconvenience at worst. This article by Amanda Mull in The Atlantic breaks down the return process, history, etc much better than I could. And I have to say, unfortunately, I have no advice or tips for dealing with that side of returns.

However, I do have thoughts about the feeling side of returns, because I do refuse to believe I’m not the only one who sometimes over-thinks or feels the simple return. There are times when I can make the choice to return, not think about it, and get it done. Then there are times when I find myself trying way too hard to make purchases work, feeling as if I have to over explain my return reasoning to the store clerk (and anyone who asks), or worse- keeping something I know is not right for me.

Sometimes it’s the embarrassment of ordering the wrong size. Which I know is dumb- especially as there is no standard sizing, that no one cares, that a number on a tag doesn’t define me. Like many women, I’m a ton of different sizes and most of the time I’m ok with it. But. There are times when the wrong size is a reason I delay returns. This is very similar, but times when a piece doesn’t work for me I can also get a bit dejected (I’m not 100% sure that this is the word I’m looking for, but we’ll go with it!) and put off returning it. I can get very in my head about being a “fashion blogger” and how that must mean that I could make any outfit work- and the reality is, that’s just not possible. From style to body type to sometimes outfits just don’t work. And as much as I can tell you that, when things don’t work for me, there are times I can take it personal.

And sometimes, the feelings and hesitation to return something is a bit more complicated. Maybe it’s something you really wanted to love, or something that meant something to someone you love. There are things that we return that can rub our loved ones the wrong way, as they take it as a comment on them or their gift giving. Returning, with all of its frustrations, leaves you without something, and sometimes that’s more difficult than we expect it to be.

Reasons returns are hard can be varied, and I know most of the time the answer is simply to just do the return. The store or clerk isn’t judging you, and if something isn’t for you, it just means that something better is out there. But when I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around those ideas these tips are how I get myself to suck it up and make the return:
-I bribe myself. Be it what other thing I’ll buy with the return funds, a coffee out, or making a day of fun errands after the return. I’m not debating if you should bribe yourself, just letting you know it works for me.
-I wear an outfit that makes me feel good. If you’re making a return of an item that didn’t make you feel great about yourself, there’s no better balm than an outfit that makes you look amazing. Fantastic lipstick (under a mask even!) can also help!
-I ask a friend to go with me. It makes the process a bit less painful and it can lead to a really fun day.

How do you feel about returns? I know we all have things we just return, but the things that are difficult to return- how do you do it? What are your tips in general for returns? I would love to hear about them all!

And it is currently Mercury Retrograde so if you have things returning to you (people, etc), I recommend discernment, and I would love to hear about all of those returns too! 😉

Wishing us all a week of good returns and amazing shoes! XO RA

In My Robe

Investment Piece: In my Robe
Investment Piece: In my Robe
Investment Piece: in my robe
Investment Piece: in my robe
Investment piece: in my robe

Some thoughts:
When it gets cold I’m always tempted to wear a blanket out. This robe (yes, it’s a robe) basically lets me. I’m a fan of Pj dressing (really, who isn’t? But see here, here, and here for starters). Every year, my family does the matching PJ thing for Christmas (we’re cute) and this was the pick a few years (we wore them over plaid pants). It’s essentially a sweatshirt with buttons, and it was my uniform over the holidays.
One day my mom mentioned that she thought it would look great with a belt and heels. A neighbor asked where we got them as she could wear it to get mail and run some errands, and no one would know that it’s a robe. I’m interested in how warm it keeps me, the slightly 80s vibes, and that the possibilities are endless.
This isn’t the only styling you’ll see of this robe.

In fact, it’s not the first time that I’ve worn it out- before this post or after. I can’t resist any outfit that makes me feel like I’m in PJs and presents as chic- or any chic pjs that let me present as being dressed. Especially around this time of year. And if you’re looking for a break into the vintage community may I recommend a vintage robe, the 1930s and 1940s robes are especially LOVELY and glam. Robes as outfits? Why not?

Headbands-thanks to Blair Waldrof, the Duchess(Es), or the simple fact that you can use them to hide dirty roots are back. I resisted for a while, but now I’m in love. Ones for working out, ones for fashion, I’m wearing them all.

Jumping into the new year hasn’t been pain free. Really, we had something like 2 weeks off, is it fair or logical to assume that jumping into anything would be seamless? (Not that I don’t love new starts, but I was getting used to be in vacation mode. Also, this isn’t to say I’m having a hard time, it’s to say that going from 0 to 60 has thrown me for a loop!) However, I’m just hanging out in my robe. So, winning!

I’ve linked similar robes (and other blanket-like outfit options for your shopping pleasure!
Xo RA

Note: this post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!