Tag: Sunday Chronicles

Loves, the only place I do more damage than a shoe store is a book store. It’s a fact. Here’s what I’ve been reading and loving lately!

I’ve needed to hear what the amazing Ms. Rhimes had to say- it was realistically inspirational and have some clear advice. I also loved “Big Magic” by Elizabeth Gilbert. I’ve been struggling with my creativity lately and this was a great reminder of how to seduce it. I also have books by Brene Brown coming in the mail, which I’m super excited about!

I started this book of short stories a while ago and recently picked it back up- and I’m so grateful I did. This isn’t a “typical” pick for me- it’s a bit gritty and raw- but it’s simply beautiful.

I’m into this mystery, already have a theory, and love it. It’s fast, smooth, and just delicious.

This is the first Sunday I haven’t had to be anywhere and haven’t had to be up early in about a month. It’s raining and I’m looking forward to curling up, reading, and maybe indulging in a face mask and glass of wine. I’d love to know- have you read any of these? What have you loved recently?

Wishing us a week of great stories and amazing shoes! XO RA

 

I used to teach spin, and am still an avid spinner (it’s a word, let’s just go with it). If you’ve never spun, it’s a rhythm based class set to music on a bike–and when the class is good, it’s heaven. However, in every class there comes moments of transition, when one song ends, the next hasn’t quite started and you have just a moment between beats. That moment can be scary. Most teachers, me included, desperately want you to stay up during those transitions. There are plain old work out reasons–it keeps your heart rate from dipping, keeps you mentally engaged, and as one of my favorite teachers puts it “the transitions make you stronger”. And loves, that’s not just true on a spin bike.

As much as we would like to pretend otherwise, life is full of transition. Yes, there are peaks and valleys in there; and yes, some transitions are more evident than others. They can be scary. There are moments between your peaks and valleys when you don’t know what steps to take. But loves, the transitions make you stronger.  Transitions are where we find out what we’re really made of, what we really want, and what we can take. The valleys aren’t always  great, the peaks can be amazing, but transitions–transitions are where the magic happens.

I’m in a transition right now–which is both exciting and terrifying. And as I try to build a life I love, there are times when I don’t know what to do. Times when it’s flat out scary. Part of why I spin is that, cheesy as it is, I buy into the lessons. So when I’m in a dark room, sweaty, sometimes tired, and pushing myself and a transition happens I trust that even when the beat doesn’t come right away, it will. And I will catch it. And I will be ok. Life is the same way–the secret is to keep moving, not to sit down and be scared. Because loves, all that glorious magic that’s out there waiting for us–it’s in the transitions.

 

Wishing us all a week of magic and amazing shoes! XO RA

You may know that in the past two weeks I’ve had two deaths in my family: an uncle and my grandma. I appreciate everyone who has reached out–and if you haven’t please don’t feel any way about that. Death is hard. Loss is hard. When I started this site, and decided to do an editorial segment on Sundays, my goal was never to get too personal. I was hopeful that we could build a form of community together, but although my pursuits have always been public (acting, etc), I am at heart a private person. I hate being checked in places. I fear opening up too soon or letting my guard down too much–being as a friend calls it “emotionally slutty”. But what I’ve learned is that it’s impossible not to get personal–and that if I hold things in for too long I end up unloading on some unsuspecting stranger. And I’m hoping that my being vulnerable is a way for us all to be vulnerable with each other–because we all know loss, we all know pain, we are all acutely aware of our flaws. These things can only mean that we need each other.

Let’s be honest: loss sucks. You can’t control it, you don’t dictate it’s terms, and you don’t chose what you’re willing to lose. Loss simply takes. It’s hard. My grandma lived a full and happy life; she was 97 and ill and ready to go—and yet it’s still hard to have that hole, even while holding the thought that she’s in a better place. My uncle was ill as well–and is now at peace, and yet the hurt that the peace is bought with can leave you wailing. We don’t get to chose when we lose people. I can tell you platitudes about how we should be grateful for any time at all with loved ones, and we should. Not all loss is death and that doesn’t minimize the pain, it shouldn’t. Loss is hard to talk about because none of us has answers. So here’s a list of things I know to be true about loss:

• We all grieve differently, there’s no right or wrong way to do it. And the appearance of grief is not a comment on the feeling
• Grieve comes in waves and the only thing you can do is ride them out
• We all lose things:people, dreams, things. One loss is not bigger than another.
• Loss is one of the hardest things I know of to talk about. It can feel too raw. It can be hard to comfort someone–or even know what to say
• We need each other through loss. The most powerful thing is the knowledge that people care-it helps.
• We heal. Often it’s around the wound, like a tree grows around concrete. There are losses that forever leave a tender spot, but we go on.

I’ve been dealing with my loss by trying to be kind to myself. There’s been some shopping, tea, and red wine. There’s been time around family and time alone. Many books, movies, some tears. I’m so grateful for all of you–for this blog has helped as well.

 

Wishing us all a loss-free week and amazing shoes! XO RA

Happy Easter! No matter you’re practices I hope that today finds you surrounded by love and celebrating new beginnings. I know this week has been a lot for us as a humanity- the attacks, the hate, the uncertainty. I had a death in my family this week, and no matter your belief in an afterlife, death is hard. However, being around family was a great reminder- love is healing, new beginnings come from painful endings, and anything is possible when we stick together. So Loves, let’s love each other extra hard this week.

Wishing us a new start and amazing shoes! XO RA

There’s a favorite saying of mine “People worry about wasting money, worry about wasting time. Time is not a renewable resource. Money is”. While is this not a call to be careless with your money, it is a call to be aware of your time. Tomorrow is leap day–the one extra day that we get every four years. A whole extra 24 hours (and yes we could complain that it’s a Monday–but time is a gift). No matter what you value or what you like to do, time is what makes up our lives–and it’s finite. So what are you going to do with your extra time? From work to relaxing to pampering yourself, I hope that you get to take this gift of an extra day and do something special with it–what ever that means to you!

Wishing us all a week of meaningful time and amazing shoes! XO RA

Friends! It’s been a week, hasn’t it? I’ve been busy with work and commitments, and have also been battling sleepless nights. That’s not always bad- I’m a little Type A and I like being busy. Which is good- we live in a society that glorifies busy. I’m sure you’ve heard that before – but have you ever taken a moment to think about how true it is?

We love busy. We encourage busy. We are all supposed to have jobs we love and activities we love and when we aren’t doing those things we need to have plans- with our friends, or learning a new skill or something. The main point? We aren’t supposed to have time unaccounted for- we should always be doing something. I love my job, I love spending time with friends, learning skills – all of that. However, the busier I become the more I cherish doing nothing – and long for unaccounted time.

What we forget is that doing nothing and unaccounted time are both actually good for us. They let us relax, unwind, recharge- and believe it or not become more creative. If you were to start a new workout regime your trainer would talk to you about rest; that recovery is an essential part of the program, and how you wouldn’t see progress without it. So, how did we get so far away from that truth in every other area of our lives?

I don’t have the answers friends. However, I do know that this week I’m giving myself permission to do nothing. To have some time set aside for nothing. And whatever shape that nothing takes- reading, movies, art, relaxation- I’m going to let myself enjoy it!

Wishing us all a week of nothing and amazing shoes! XO RA

Happy Super Bowl Sunday! I know- if you’re not into football this may not be an exciting day for you. However, between parties, halftime, and commercials- it is a day when football fan and non-fan alike can come together to eat nachos and enjoy “America’s Game”. What are you doing? I have to admit, I’m not a big fan of big parties- I really like to pay attention to the game. I’m having a small group of friends and family over, and we plan on experimenting with nachos and other snacks!

I do have to admit – this day makes me a little sad, it’s the end of the Football season (yes, I’m that much of a fan). The upside? It means we’re closer to summer! I will still mourn a little next week with no football to watch- and marvel at all my extra time. As for today? I plan on enjoying what I hope is a great game and eating my fill!

Wishing us all a week of exciting water cooler conversation and amazing shoes!

Xo RA

Recently I had coffee with a friend, and as we were sitting there talking about our goals and wants he simply turned to me and (basically) asked, “why aren’t you going after what you want? Why don’t you just do it?”. A simple question, and yet I was taken back. Loves, I like to think that I’m fairly honest-I have no firm answers and am making this all up as I go along, much like you I think to think. But my friend has a point–why don’t we go after what we want?

There are a ton of reasons why we don’t always pursue our goals–time, money, skill. Sometimes what we really want would hurt people we care about, and we are afraid to do that. Sometimes we don’t really want what we think we do–and procrastination saves us. And then there are times when we truly go after what we want–and we fail. None of these situations are easy. And there’s no magic phrase or inspirational quote to make us begin to move forward or make us succeed. However, I think we all have things that we want–even if they aren’t big, grand things (the fact that not every goal or desire needs to be big and grand is a topic unto itself) and many of those things are within our grasp. So what stops us? Why aren’t we running towards our dreams as if everything were on fire?

I don’t have answers. But I can tell you what I’m doing. Since that conversation I’m sitting down with myself. I’m having hard and honest talks with me about what I really want and what I’m really willing to do for those goals. And I’m running, not always as fast as I’d like, but running like it matters in that direction. And those dreams that I find I can’t bring myself to run to? I’m doing my best to let them go. Another person I adore loves to remind me that nothing is promised–not tomorrow, not the rest of today. So it matters what we do. And if matters what we do, we owe to ourselves to go after what we want, what makes us happy–from snacks to dreams to people (especially ourselves). Maybe it is in the asking–in the demanding of ourselves that we go after what we want, that we can figure out what we really want and need. Here’s to hoping!

 

Wishing us all a week of dream chasing and amazing shoes! XO RA

When boxers train they watch film of their opponents-study what the opposition’s “go-to” is. They also study themselves–they know their reflexes, understand that their personal “go to” is, to be better prepared, to change bad habits if necessary, to make themselves better. It’s the same in any sport–Football coaches not only study the opposing teams tape–they make sure they know what their own QB will do in times of stress. Study acting for any period of time–your teacher will want you to keep a journal; as it’s impossible to really “be” anyone else unless you understand your own habits and self. As one of my favorite spin teachers explains,” You got to know your punches, you have to know what you fall back on, what you go to. It’s the only way to prepare and it’s the only way to change yourself”. So, we can agree that understanding yourself is important, now you may be asking: what does this have to do with a fashion blog?

We’ve spent the week talking about cleaning out your closet–and hopefully you’ve touched your clothes and were really able to see what you have, what you need, and where those two circles meet. So, what are your punches? What do you tend to buy? Is it what you need? Or do you need to change? Lovers, there is not a gray t-shirt or party dress that I don’t love. Those are my punches. Shop anywhere with me and you will see me reach over and over again for gray shirts and dresses that are worthy of a great cocktail party, if not a red carpet. There’s nothing wrong with either of these-my right hook works-but there does come a time where I may need to buy something else. (Sidenote, someone invite me to a party, I have plenty to wear)I know this about myself. And yet–I have to go through things and remind myself that I don’t need to fall back on the two things that make me comfortable. There are so many great things out there–incorporating new punches can be a good thing.

Of course, this could work for any part of life–I know that there are habits that I fall back on in all areas of my life. Some serve me, some probably need some tweaking. The point in any of these disciplines is not to completely scrap all of your habits (and yes, I just called shopping a discipline), but to use your habits to your best advantage. If your right hook is great, keep it. If it could occasionally use a left jab–it’s just about learning to use that as well. Will I still reach for a gray shirt or a party dress? Yes. The hope is I will think it through and put it back if needed, and also reach for the black pants that I need. So again, what do you reach for? And is it something you need?

Wishing us all a week of things we want and need, and amazing shoes! XO RA

It’s the first long weekend of the year, it’s cold, and all I want to do is curl up with a book. By the time you read this I will have finished Me Before You (Which I’m loving). Besides clothes and shoes, books come in as a tie for my first love- this is a live look at my bedside stack (actually a small portion of it)- and I’m sure I will find another one to dive into. It’s Sunday- we deserve a book break, right?
So- what are you reading? What do you recommend?

Wishing us all a week of amazing stories and fantastic shoes! XO RA