Fashion Stories: Changing to Stay the Same

a woman in a maxi denim dress with a gold belt and gold glitter and black booties
a woman in a denim maxi dress and leopard sneakers

They say that everything comes back in style (which may also be a reason to never throw anything away!). And as someone who is slowly beginning to see styles that she remembers from her childhood back “on trend” I can only say- I didn’t think things would change so quickly to stay the same for me.
Perhaps another way to say that, is that as much as things change, they stay back. Or come back to themselves. Or whatever they say.

Take for example the denim, skirt and dress, trends this fall. Maxi. Slit. Just a hint of a shirt dress. They remind me of dresses from the 1990s. And earlier. These denim pieces also remind me of my grandma (Mimi). I’ve written a lot about her influence on my fashion sense, see here, but let me tell you- my Mimi also loved a denim dress. Or skirt. She would pair denim on denim, pair belts with her denim dresses- and wear both with everything from sneakers to sandals.

Denim dresses are a huge trend. Yet, they also bring me back to my Mimi. Sometimes we change just to stay the same.

a woman in a denim dress with leopard sneakers
a woman in a maxi denim dress with a gold belt and gold and black booties

This is where you may be thinking that I style these new but same denim dresses much differently than my Mimi would have- but really, I don’t think I do. Perhaps I’m a bit more flashy. But my Mimi loved a great accessory. A gold belt? She’d love it. The glitter booties might be exactly up her alley, but I have a feeling she would have loved them. And leopard sneakers? My Mimi would have worn these herself! We, my Mimi and I, were different- but we were really the same.

And we both love(d) a denim moment.

a woman in a denim dress with a gold belt and gold and black booties
a woman in a denim maxi dress and leopard sneakers

This denim dress, and all of the 1000s and 1000s ways you could style it (truly a bit dressed up and with sneakers are barely scratching the surface of what is possible here!) is a trend- but isn’t it also the same? What I mean is that, at least in my case, denim like this was a staple in my childhood- I’ve spent my adulthood changing and finding my own style, and am now in the same thing it started in. Maybe that’s what all those saying mean. Just perhaps- all roads do lead home, we change and yet find ourselves the same. I just think we should wear fabulous shoes with it!

I’ve linked this exact dress (under $50!) and similar ones, as well as some fantastic shoe options. What is something that you’ve changed and then found out it was simply the same? I want to hear all about it.

XO RA

Note: This post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!

a woman in a denim dress with a gold belt and gold and black booties

Fall Blues

It’s officially fall and I’ve spent most of the week fighting off the latest variant (still). It’s been one of those weeks where work, scheduling, most everything has been rearranged and moved aside in an effort to recuperate and feel like myself again. Things that help? Outfits like this. Shoes that wrap. Skylines and slits. Stay tuned for updated looks and new things coming. Here’s to entering the new week feeling like our best selves! Xo RA


Investment Piece: October Blues
Investment Piece: October Blues
Investment Piece: October Blues
Investment Piece: October Blues
Investment Piece: October Blues
Investment Piece: October Blues

Fall Blues are a thing.
The colder weather, the shorter days, the change in the air–it can leave you feeling a little down. Or the fact that the colder weather and change in the air aren’t coming quite as quick as you would like. The only cure I know of? Deep breaths, leaning into the change, and getting excited about sweaters and boots. All valid things.

The good news? Loves, these are the kind of Fall Blues that involve sad feelings, deep breaths, or even loving sweaters. These Fall Blues are the kind that make you want to dance, that go with any kind of weather, and doesn’t require a love of boots (though you should still probably be excited about boots). This is blue silk and crepe. This is a bell sleeve, a wrap top, and a slit that goes there. This is the kind of October Blue that can make you happy now and later. And loves, that’s an October Blue I can get behind.

In pieces this Cult Gaia ensemble is amazing. The top would go great with jeans, trousers, a different skirt. The skirt? I’ve already worn it with a great graphic tee (I’ve already worn it with my Tom Petty tee), a white button down, or one of those beloved sweaters. And the silk is some of the softest I’ve felt in a while. I love the drama that the lace up shoes bring, and who can go wrong with a vintage Bottega Venetta clutch? The real trick here for Fall blues? Besides blue, it’s simply trusting that one color can carry an outfit. I’m a huge fan of monochromatic looks, and while the sleeves and the slit help, I think that any one color look can make an impact!

I got this limited edition Cult Gaia years ago, and while it’s no longer available, the feeling of the look is so easy! Any skirt and top can mimic this feel (and I’ve linked my faves below), you simply need to embrace a monochromatic look, have some fun, and find yourself a rooftop!

If you’re still suffering from Fall Blues, I can recommend apple cider and wine. If that doesn’t work, you’re on your own!

Shop my picks below, they do contain affiliate links (I get commission though there is no added cost to you!

Happy October Blues!
XO RA

And if you love this exact top you can shop my closet on Dora Maar where you can find that and so many other goodies!

Investment Piece: October Bues

Ex Files: The One Who Argued about Football

a purple TCU flag flies on a patio with hanging crystals, sliding door and wooden fence

It’s ex-files, where we stop chatting fashion for just a minute and talk dating horror stories. An attempt to be like Carrie Bradshaw? Sure. But let’s be honest, dating horror stories are both horrifying and funny. Names may have been changed to protect identities, some details moved about. Hungry for more? Try: Tinder on an Airplane, Jumping to Conclusions, and The One Who Asked for his Money Back. There are quite a few more when you search “ex files” in the search tab!” Also if you want to be written warmly about- behave better! xo RA

Without further ado I bring you:
The One Who Argued About Football

We know that I love football (my feelings on football are ever fluid, aka mainly I’m mad about some coaching changes, and as my schedule changes I can no longer prioritize football, or use it as time alone, but that’s a convo for another post). Yet, I was raised on football, know football, and do love it. And so when that is recognized- I LOVE it.

A few years ago (or more, my sense of time is so off lately!), I got a message from one of the best football coaches of all time (and the head coach of my alma mater at the time. Yes, you probably know but as I didn’t ask for his permission to use his name, we’re protecting him!) sent me a message stating “It’s nice to see someone who knows so much about football”. As you can only imagine, this message made my day, month, year, and if at one point you heard a happy yelp that might have been me!

So, you can also imagine my defeat when my boyfriend at the time, when told about the BEST message ever was blasé. In fact, I think his exact words were “It’s not a compliment”. Note- it was a compliment. And -at least to me- it was a big deal. Yet, never wanting to rock the boat, I didn’t argue at the time.

However, a few weeks (maybe months) later, a football fight happened. We rooted for different pro teams (which can work, as long as there’s respect). But. There was a call in the game that this ex and I had different views on. He said:” You need to calm down, it’s not like you get football.”

And when I tell you I was mad. When I tell you how I hated that comment. When I tell you the joy I felt when I got to say : “Oh Really?!? According to (redacted hall of fame coach) I do get football. And I think he knows more than you!”

This was not the fight that broke us up. But I won’t lie and tell you that someone I was in an relationship to essentially poo-poo my knowledge and interests didn’t influence the rest of our relationships. I don’t think that we have to agree on everything, but I do think us thinking highly of our partners- and all of their interests is key.

Has there ever been a fight that changed how you saw partner? I would LOVE to hear about it!
XO RA

Fall Wishlist

a woman in a plaid suit and grey corset with platforms

One of my most favorite things about a new season is making a wishlist for it. Of course those wishlists are always dependent on what I need to refresh in my closet, the upcoming trends, and what I personally love. A juggling act, a bit of shifting at all times, and of course a bit of planning and wishing. This year: I’m still into suits, I want a bit of fun, I need to replace some leather pieces- and I’m excited for all the things to come!

I know that what I may want (now) and want later in the season may change; and I know that both of those things may be incredibly different from what I end up buying. For now, at the start of fall the below categories and lists are where I’m starting. I know that I may end up in different places, with a different closet- but this is where I’m starting. Over the next few weeks I’ll be refining this seasonal wishlist (and letting you know what I’ve bought!- those on my email list will be the first to know! Want in? Sign up!)

In the mean time here’s what I’m wishing about for fall- what are you looking for- new, or updates to your closet? I would love to hear about it all!

Note: This post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!

Personality Pieces
We all have things that are just us- for me it can often me Dinosaurs, polka dots, statement pieces, and classics. My fall wishlist? Full of all of these things. I’m a fan of updates that look like me so I can’t help but fall in love with staples and statements that scream my name!

Leather Updates
I know faux leather is in- but all of mine have worn out. I’m looking to replace some of my faux leather pieces or perhaps replace them with vintage or new leather pieces. From skirts to blazers these are some pieces I’m loving!

Suting
Suits have been in (honestly I don’t know when they’ve ever been out!) but I just love them. Especially the trend of matching trousers, bustier and blazer! I have some that I love- but I keep seeing suits (and that combo!) everywhere. I may wait and see- but I’m upping my suit game this season!

Basics
This is the time of year when I go through my closet and see what I need to update. Sweaters. Layers. Coats. Bags. More. Yes, some of these I want in statements, but I also want some tried and true classics to come back to for YEARS!

Investment Piece: Color of the Season

On top of all of these- I’m looking to add some color. Add some laters. Buy some great trousers- and of course more! Again, I’ll be updating my list (sending it to my email subscribers in the next few weeks- I hope you’ll be one of them!) and of course letting you know here! If there is anything I can help you find for fall- or recommend -please don’t hesitate to reach out!

XO RA

When it’s not love….

I originally posted this last September, but I’ve had a few instances recently where I’ve bought things (then returned them) because I just didn’t love it. I’m gearing up to do another closet clean-out and it has me thinking: what if it’s not love? Should we buy every trend or keep everything just because it’s trendy or a basic? Shouldn’t we aspire to a closet of things we love, and feel free to let go of everything we don’t? There’s a saying that you shouldn’t settle in love, well, loves, as a person who loves her closet I’m beginning to think we shouldn’t settle in fashion. When it’s not love, let’s let it go. Get my original thoughts below!

a woman in a long sleeve black top, yellow and black pattern and pleated skirt and black boots

What to do when you HATE the trend

NY Fashion week has come and gone, and we’ve been presented with what’s on trend for now, and for the Spring. Which is great, right? Hopefully you’ve been inspired and are excited about what will be/is offered to you, and you have ideas and plans on how to wear it (or you’re excited to see how we wear it here!) But loves, let’s be honest with each other. There’s a chance, and there are times, when you just HATE a trend. Maybe you try it and it’s just not flattering on you. Maybe it brings back bad memories. Maybe you just hate it so much you can’t bring yourself to try it or think about it. I get it. I know, I’m in fashion and supposed to encourage you to try new things. Which I think you should. But not everything is for everyone.

Loves, I’ve struggled with this part all week. A part of me is torn–I feel as if I’m supposed to encourage you to try new things. Maybe the right piece, the right time, the right color will change your mind on a trend. Maybe. Trying different versions of a trend is also valid. Maybe you hate cold shoulder, but you love a certain off-the-shoulder. Maybe. Classics may be your thing and you don’t want to vary out, but one dress could change your mind. Maybe. I think all these avenues are great-again, I’m for us all trying things. But loves, sometimes things don’t work. And that’s valid too. Trends are simply that, a passing fancy, and if you don’t like it, it’s ok. A new trend will come about, or classics are always in style.
There are trends that I don’t like; and my personal view is that fashion is supposed to be a fun way to express yourself–not a list of things you HAVE to wear.

So, at the end of the day my biggest advice is, if you don’t love it, don’t wear it. That simple. Love what you wear, wear what makes you feel good!

XO RA

Fall Clean Out

a woman in a blue satin shirt dress and red over the knee boots in a hallway

I know, I know. We chat about closet clean outs in one of two ways: January, when we all feel the need to start anew. Or spring. (Which is close to January!) when we all hear or chat or talk “spring cleaning”.

And I think all of those close cleanings are super valid. To be fair- any time you take to deep clean or clean out your closet is valid. And yet-

Why don’t we chat about a fall clean out? It’s just as needed! From closets (there is a hug clean out from warm weather clothes to cold weather clothes) to cleaning (yes, clean now!)
Maybe it doesn’t sound as sexy or trendy- but I think it’s as necessary.
So this week I’m taking the time to not only clean out my closet: see here, here, here, here, and here.

Point being – now is a great time to go through your closet. Switch out from summer to fall

Maybe there’s nothing you want to get rid of. And yet it’s a great time to: clean all suits, coats, and jeans.See here, here, and

Or perhaps you’re into a new coat (and who could blame you!) Some of my new faves:

At the end of this week I’ll be sharing my fall wishlist – from suits to dresses to coats and more. This week I’ll also be spending some time in my closet seeing what I should let go of in my closet, what I should add, and what I need to mend/clean/replace/etc- and of course I will share that with you.

We’re at the start of a new season (and yet I know that the temps won’t show it automatically!) but I have a firm belief that perhaps fall is a bit like “if you build it, it will come”. Which for us means” let’s get the sweats and coats and more and make sure our closets are ready. The cool weather will come!

I can’t wait to share my wishlists and my fall fashion with you. What are you looking forward to in the new season that’s coming?
XO RA

Sunday Chronicles: Routines

I wrote this about a year ago. At the time I was in desperate need of some structure. I found a system that worked (mostly for me). Then. life. A new day (side) gig. Changes in home life and work life. And I find myself again needing some structure. Needing a way to get myself on a routine- as it turns out keeping me on a routine is part of my self care. Here are still my thoughts on it:

a woman in white shorts and a white blazer in front of a stone wall

What’s that saying? Danger can hurt you but routine can kill you? Something like that. And I get it- we don’t want our routines to be a rut. Ruts, more than routines, I think are what can kill us. But- what if instead of a routine, you’re in chaos (aka no routine and nothing to anchor you). Isn’t that the most dangerous of all?

And, for a while, it feels as if chaos is where I’ve been, so I’m yearning for routine.

It started in the middle of lockdown. I’m an introvert, and have always worked from home. Yet, with no schedule (like my gym classes) to really anchor me, I become a bit all over the place. There were nights when I would stay up so late (not doing anything but watching reruns), and then nights when I went to bed at 8pm. Days when I would get a ton of deadlines met and days when the most productive thing I would do is have coffee. I get it- we were all (and still are) going through things and dealing as we could.

But. What I’ve learned about myself? I need routine, a schedule, something to anchor me. I need to know what days I’m shooting and which I’m writing, when my workouts are, and (for sanity) to have a “regular” bedtime.

(of course with a routine it makes the days when you deviate from it SPECIAL. But you have to have the routine first!)

So, starting this week I’m getting myself back on a routine. I’m actually excited about it- as I feel as if a routine will help me thrive, and not just survive. Naturally, we all need different structure, but how I’m going about it is I’m giving myself some guidelines, with the understanding that sometimes they will be broken, but with the intent to stick to them 98% of the time. What am I doing? Bedtimes (by 10), workouts (booked and the ones at home given a time), scheduling days for all my activities: cleaning, laundry, shooting, admin, etc. It’s not to suck the fun out of anything, though it does feel a bit like the 2 weeks before school when my mom would make us get back on a school routine instead of a summer one, but to help me be my best self. Therefore, able to have more fun.

And I’m adult enough to know doing what’s best for me is fun! (And yet not adult enough that I think this decision warrants something new!)

What are your routines? Do you find that you need them? Or are you ok just playing it by ear all the time? I would love to know about it!

Wishing us all a week of what’s best for us and amazing shoes! XO RA

Unexpected

a woman in tux pants, corset top, and leopard sneakers
a woman in tux pants corset top and leopard sneakers
a woman in tux pants and a corset top. Leopard sneakers.
a woman in tux pants, corset top, leopard sneakers
a woman in tux pants a corset top and leopard sneakers

I often will tell you how I love a juxtaposition. They’re interesting. They make anything -from an outfit to a room – really anything (sorry I got 2 cats in my lap and try to find a ton of examples is not ideal! Having a cat in your lap-that may be another post!)

SO here’s the thing. tux pants (which these are. A fun fact about these ones that I bought second hand- I love that the cummerbund is adjustable) are a fun thing to to play with. Not matter the tux pants (or jacket) you can either dress them up (add heels, add a fancy top, no top with a blazer) or dress them down- like here I paired them with sneakers. Though I’m sure that with a leopard print these sneakers are super dressed down!

Ways I’ve also styled these tux pants: with graphic tees and heels, with vintage pj jackets and also with silk blouses and closed toe heels. Classic but with this cummerbund- it always feels like a statement.

Yes, these are second hand for years past- and yet any tux pants (some of my current faves are linked below), any kind of tux pants are such an easy way to style anything in your closest. A great tee? Dress it up with a tux pant. Need to dress formally? A blazer or a silk blouse, paired with heels could be the ticket.

(Yes, it feels odd to call any outfit combo the ticket as mainly as there are so many outfit combos for so many outfits and most of all I want. you to go with outfits that make you feel amazing!)

And there are so many outfits that I know or feel as if you can make (?) with a pair of tux pants!

Here’s what I love about the unexpected- with tux pants or with anything:

-It’s a way to let your style bleed into your real life. Where I wore this outfit? To Target. To errands. No where fancy, but I felt special everywhere I went.

-It’s a way to express yourself. Let’s be honest- from tux to suits to everything in between- we (as a people) have a way that we “think” things will be styled. For a tux? You expect black tie- and maybe that’s heels or blazer or vest or silk shirt or all of the above. So to see it (tux pants that is) with sneakers (and leopard which to me is a neutral but may not be) or a version of a corset top (here it’s just strapless, but really I may mean racy?)- this is not what one would expect.

Yet- As someone who loves to dress up but doesn’t always have a place to dress up at, as someone who loves playing with various pieces and seeing what fits for various days. For someone who truly believes that dressing for our days-no matter what they bring- is a way to bring joy to us- the unexpected is a great way to play with our fashion and also find a way to fit out style into our day to day style. (Said as someone who loves a great part look yet whose daily outings are more likely to include the grocery store rather than balls).

So- tux pant with sneakers? Or graphic tees? Or flats? Or anything that than the (chic) blazer and heels? A bit unexpected. But a lot bit of how to make your fashion your own (which is the point, no?)

I’ve linked similar unexpected pairs for you below- and of course, if your styling is a bit more expected I’m a fan of that as well!
XO RA

Note: This post does contain affiliate links. While that may not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!

a woman in a black corset. black tux pants and leopard sneakers

Pockets to Go

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/VF8ZiVpxNLs

Note: you may want to turn the sound down- or if not I get if you want revenge!

This part adding your own pockets. There is a reason why every woman you know gets excited and tells you enthusiastically about the pockets on your outfit. It’s because we need them!!! So when I got that I could add my own pockets- with this apron skirt via COS (this is the short version, they did have a maxi skirt version!) Not only functional- how great to tie yourself 2 huge pockets to store all the things you might need from a red lip (a necessity if I ever met one!) or to hold everything from keys to wallets. A simple tie around and any outfit automatically has more- pockets that is!

These apron skirts are also wool. Which makes this option a bit of making fall trends/purchases/etc work now. Could you call this transitional? Sure! Pair this apron skirt over every kind of short now- later use it over every kind of pant. Both times use it over skirts that have unkindly left out pockets. (And with skirts if and when temps drop feel free to add tights, boots, etc as needed!)

a woman in a black biker shorts and black muscle tank with a tying apron skirt with pockets and wearing black heels

I have a thing for using tiny card cases- or wallets. So a simple big pocket can often be enough for me- a wallet of a sort, my keys (as needed), and a lip (red is my go-to). What else do you need?

And as women so many of our options- pants, skirts, dresses, leggings and more – don’t have pockets. There is a reason why we tell each other gleefully when something has pockets! So pockets to go? Pockets on demand? Pockets that you could add to anything? For any reason I’m completely on board!

These exact pockets and more are linked for you below. Never be shy to tell someone else if what you’re wearing has pockets! And never be shy to add pockets to anything you’re wearing! Win/Win/Pockets!!!

XO RA

Note: This post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!

a woman in black tank, biker shorts and an apron skirt with pockets over, and black sandal mules

Red -y Fall Transitions

a woman in a blue striped midi skirt, grey strappy top and red lace up heels
a woman in a blue striped midi, grey strappy top and red lace up heels
a woman in a blue striped midi skirt, grey strappy top and red lace up heels

We could chat about a lot with this outfit. And here’s where I will admit there are shoots where I wear something simply for the outfit to be photographed- and shoots where I wear an outfit I wear and I shoot it. This is the latter. I love a great skirt. Always have, probably always will. Fun fact? I don’t think I wore jeans till I was 6 or 7 (and that’s only because I realized all the kids in 1st grade were wearing them and I was a-okay being a trendsetter but didn’t want to be left out!) as I always wanted to wear skirts or dresses. Point being a great skirt is such a fantastic piece to build outfit(S!) around- or even a closet.

Pair a great skirt with a tee, a blouse, a sweater, a going out top, a blazer- the options are endless! What I love about this particular skirt (minus the pockets) is that it’s perfect to transition from summer to fall. It’s a linen blend, but it reads wool. And the blue, black, grey and very light red stripe mean that it goes with so many things- and not just black- that could read both summer and fall. A bit nubbly, a bit weighted, it moves fantastically, but truly can stand alone. Here (because it’s still over 100!!) I had to pair it with an elevated tank; aka a “going out top” I’ve had for a good 10 years. Strappy, low cut, and really a bodysuit- but the pleats and folds make it feel expensive.

a woman in red lace up heels and a blue striped midi skirt
a woman in a blue striped midi skirt and grey strappy top with red lace up heels
a woman in a blue striped midi skirt with a grey strappy top and red lace up heels

Beyond outfit formulas and transitional pieces- red is on trend for fall. This is one of those trends that just makes me laugh. Mainly? I love red. One of my favorite colors. I’m also a HUGE fan of pops of red in outfits- and especially love a great red shoe (read about my early and faithful love for Dorothy or Red Date Shoes here). So red as a trend? Great! But, when was red ever “out”? Aka for me red not being a thing was never a thing- if you know what I mean. These fantastic red shoes? Years old, worn regularly, a favorite. (Though, yes, I will be using this “trend” to add to my red section in my closet. I mean- it’s in the name of fashion!)

What I could say about this – there is always a trend that’s not a trend but a staple to you. Use it to your advantage to transition seasons. Love red like me? Now is the time to get out your red, add it to your accents, say you’re ready for fall. Of if red- or any other fall trend- is something that you’ve always liked but never knew how to wear it? Might I suggest you start small? The term “pop of” may be overused, but anything that you’re a bit unsure of never looks wrong as a shoe, or bag, or belt, or scarf, or umbrella, coat, etc- start with an accessory and see how you feel. Then go all out in an outfit- or not. You always get to choose!

But I do love a great pop of color- especially when it’s red. I love a statement shoe. And when an outfit that is very much me on a Monday feels perfectly on trend and red-y to transition to the new season- it makes the outfit feel a little more special.

What are your thoughts on red? How do you wear it? What fall trends are you looking forward to and what are you wearing during these transitional weeks from summer to fall? I want to hear about it all!

This top (as mentioned) is old, as are the shoes from seasons and seasons ago. The skirt? Vintage and a gift from a lovely neighbor. However, I’ve linked similar pieces for you below – don’t be afraid to take what you love and mix and match and make your own for years to come (trends or not!)
XO RA

Note: This post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!

a woman in a blue striped midi skirt, grey strappy top, and red lace up heels