Category: care

Gifting Yourself!

a woman in black watch plaid dress with a brown belt, black hose and brown suede platfroms
a woman in black watch plaid dress, brown belt, black hose and brown suede platforms

This is about the time where you think I’m about to link all the things I want/may be buying for myself (using the holidays as an excuse), right? It wouldn’t be out of left field. I mean, I am REALLY good at shopping for me (someone should pay me to do it!), and I do have a continuous wishlist going. (And please don’t worry- I am sure I will support the economy in the coming weeks with sales, etc). However, I want to chat about gifting ourselves in the ways that aren’t the things.

(This is not a knock on things. I clearly love the things!)

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about not only the things that I want- but the woman I want to be, and the life I want. It’s so easy this time of year to just go with the flow, simply relax and lay on the couch starting on the 25th to the 2nd. And I’m a fan of rest- it’s an important part of productivity!- and if you need it, you need it! I’ll be honest, there will be a lot of time in the coming week or so where I’m doing nothing. And it will be a gift to me.

But. I’m also giving myself the gift of looking ahead, of thinking about habits I want to change, and goals I want to work on for the coming year. And giving myself the gift of starting now (in between relaxing). This feels very “self help” (and please be assured I am NO expert), but I can’t help but think that maybe the best gifts to ourselves is letting us enjoy the season and at the same time, building and planning for the season to come.

a woman in black watch plaid dress with a brown belt, black hose and brown suede platforms
a woman in black watch plaid dress with brown belt and black hose and brown suede platforms

I feel as if this is where I get specific – and yet I have to say I’m still thinking about what I want to change- from my fitness schedule to my time management (both need some tweaks!). What I will say is that between celebrations and down time I’m considering what I want to be in 2024, and the steps needed to get there. Yes, I want to get into a fitness routine that serves where I’m at and gets me back “in shape” (I miss my old one!). I want to work on my time management (I can procrastinate with the best of them and often find myself working till 11pm or doing things last min). I want to start “The Artist’s Way” (a fantastic book/system for any kind of creative) and want to pick a start date! There are other goals and changes, I’m using this time to decide and plan and implement. (and of course I will share!) My gift to myself is to do the best I can to set myself up for ourselves.

What are you gifting to yourself? And what are you gifting to yourselves?
I want to hear all about it! XO RA

Styling note: This dress is vintage and a friend of a friend. I took it and made it my own by adding one of my favorite belts, hose, and some of my favorite platform shoes. I’m linking options for the look below (just in case that’s also what you want to gift yourself!)

Note: This post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!

Is It Chic to be Corny?

a woman in black tank top, pants with tie, shoes and a black cardigan with sequin candy canes on it

When I was younger, my mom and grandma wore elaborate and gorgeous holiday sweaters. Not in an “ironic” way, or to an Ugly Sweater Party, but just beautiful and embellished sweaters that just happened to be holiday themed. There was one I loved that had Santa going down the chimney, some with snowflakes, and of course, this stunner with sequined candy canes- just to name a few. I thought that they were so chic and not corny at all, just holiday glamorous.

Then- things changed. Holiday sweaters went out of style. Ugly Sweater Parties became a thing- and let’s be honest, holiday sweaters became uglier to fit the theme. Holiday dressing, or more specifically, holiday dressing that was THEMED became corny and faux pas and something I did NOT do. (Not even the sweet jewelry!)

a woman in a black cardigan with sequined candy canes, black tank, pants with a tie and shoes

And now? Things have changed again; or maybe it’s my fashion sense or holiday cheer, or maybe I just stopped caring about what other people think. I’ve come back around and have been wearing my Mom’s and Grandma’s vintage holiday sweaters. Not the corny ones, the chic ones. I’ve even been know to wear tasteful jewelry with holiday theme from lights to snowflakes to Rudolph’s and more. Again- not the ugly kind, but things that I actually love that just happened to be holiday themed. I’m finding I love it, it’s chic and festive and makes me feel closer to my loved ones.

I wore this outfit to a holiday gathering this weekend- beautiful cardigan with sequined candy canes, satin tank, black pants with a satin tie waist, and red and white enamel hoop earrings. I wasn’t thinking chic or corny- I just wanted an outfit that was holiday and I loved. Beloveds, I got so many compliments, from women and men of all ages. One comment that really stuck out to me was a woman who let me know she has a ton of designer holiday sweaters, but has been afraid to wear them as she thought she would be seen as a corny old woman.

How sad is it that we wouldn’t wear something we love for fear of what other’s think? (That’s not a knock on her, I’ve been guilty of it too!) Also, what if what we worry is corny is actually chic? Or what if it’s chic to be corny? At the heart, dressing to theme (holidays or not) is a way to show you care. Dressing well is absolutely a form of good manners, and dressing with joy and being festive? What is that if not spreading cheer? (Cheer and joy and love are chic in my book!)

a close up of red and white enamel hoop earrings and red lips

Fashion, trends, fads- they all change. While I have fallen victim to caring (perhaps too much) about what other people think, I’ve decided to choose chic. And during this season, chic to me means wearing gorgeous, tasteful and festive holiday sweaters, earrings and more. I’m going to revel in the things that I find beautiful and bring joy (to me and others). Maybe it is chic to be corny- and maybe we take back holiday dressing from ugly sweaters. Either way, I’m in!

This sweater is vintage, but I’m linking some vintage sweaters and some modern sweaters- as well as holiday jewelry – for your own celebrations below!
What about you- do you wear holiday sweaters? What are your thoughts about corny being chic?
XO RA

Note: This post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!

Vintage Sweaters:

Modern Sweaters and Earrings:

a woman in a black cardigan with sequined candy canes, black tank, pants with satin waist tie, shoes

Happy Thanksgiving!

a close up of Pecan Pie

IF you’re in the States, this week officially kicks off the winter holiday season- from Thanksgiving (and if you count sales as a holiday!) I’m taking some time to indulge in pies, stretchy pants and time with people I love! I can’t tell you how grateful I am for you- and our community here. Tune in for a special offer/ask on Sunday- and if you’re looking to shop with me please follow me on IG/ShopStyle and LTK apps! Then on Monday it’s your regularly scheduled outfits!

(My cart has so many things to show you at so many shops! And I’ll probably have a family moment or two! )

Wishing you love and all the pie/wine you need! XO RA

Holidays: Hostess Gifts

a woman in black leather pants and toy soldiers button down sits on stairs by a nutcracker stand

Tis the time if year. Not quite Christmas (or any of the other holidays that get celebrated at this time of year!), but if you’re in the USA it’s almost Thanksgiving. We mostly skip over the holiday now, our all loss, but the coming week is the first of family holidays, friend holidays, and the chance to impress any and all of these hosts.

And Thanksgiving is a great holiday just to celebrate. Alone. With family. With friends. Or a combo. And:

It may be the time where you’re visiting friends. Or meeting new family (from in-laws to extended to staying extended with said family for the first time!). Or simply staying with people instead of celebrating at home. And if so to any of the above, you need a hostess gift. Wine. Flowers. The dish you’re asked to bring (?). All of these are a must! However, I’m raised to always bring a small gift for the host, therefore making hostess gifts some of the most important gifts of the holiday season.

So, what makes a great hostess gift? Something thoughtful! Something useful! Something that can be used throughout the year! So following are some of my favorite hostess gifts (and ideas for them!)

Note: This post will contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!

a wooden wine holder lazy susan on a gold base
First and foremost, I love this wine holder. A Bit much, but it doubles as a center piece, can be used throughout the year, and if anyone is hosting a bigger party this wine holder is a great way to tie a table together (and ensure that every gets a pour!)

You can get the wine holder here:

Another idea I love to gift to the hostess? Cocktail napkins. Specifically embroidered cocktail napkins. Absolutely you can be on the holiday theme, but there are also novelty, sassy, and classic napkins, fit for any of your host (from new in laws to siblings to best friends!)

Here are some of my favorites:

Another great (although perhaps somewhat cliche) idea? Candles! There are so many scents, and holder designs- from trees and pines to peppermint to snow globe candle holders (a real thing!). Here are some of my faves that I think your hosts will love for years to come!

Another combo that I think might be a great hostess gift? Gift soaps (like the ones our moms and grandmas used to set out!) and dishtowels (akin to the cocktail napkins!) These can be little, big, personalized, or on a theme that means something to the host. They are easy to gift no matter how well you know the host. Here are some of my faves:

Some other ideas that might make a great impression for a hostess gift? Something for their pet (cat or dog or etc- remember pets are household members too!), wine glasses, coffee mugs, aprons, place settings, and anything that might have meaning to your host. Of course- if you’re simply going for a meal wine and flowers (and your contribution to the meal!) are easy. But, if you need more ideas, I hope that this list helps you find a hostess gift that fits that sweet spot between meaningful and useful gift that lets your host see you in the best light!

Need help shopping? Please reach out!
Happy gifting! XO RA

Systems

Investment Piece: Systems
Investment Piece: Systems

This is a Mrs. Emily skirt (lovingly made by hand and goes with it all. You can read more about how much I love Mrs. Emily, a small fashion designer here. And while this about how much I love this silk skirt (and you can customize the hem length!) and all the things you can wear with it (from party looks to work looks), it’s also about systems (like outfit formulas, but for our lives).

One of the many, many things I love about Mrs. Emily is her fashion philosophy. Her Instagram (@mrsemily) and her newsletter (highly recommend sign up here) are full of thoughts on waredrobe building, confidence building, and how we can make our lives work (through our clothes). Mrs. Emily will tell you that she’s a wife, momma, and fashion designer (and maker), she speaks honestly about all the different hats she’s wearing, and how she makes that work.

I love the honesty (because it’s not always easy) and I love how these musing make me think about my own fashions and my own systems. In fashion, we talk about systems as outfit formulas- things we know go together, that you can simply put on, and they make your life easier. What about the systems (or outfit formulas) for our lives, from work to social? Do they make our lives easier and make us feel good? Or do we need to update them?

Investment Piece: Systems
Investment Piece: Systems

Like all of us, I wear a bunch of hats. Fashionista. Blogger. Actress. Daughter. Sister. Friend. Caregiver. Cook. Dishwasher. Every day is a bit different, but there is never a lack of things to do. Sometimes I feel on top of it all, sometimes I feel completely overwhelmed. What I’m learning (and what Mrs. Emily will tell you) is that the more you can design your life to support all the things you do, the easier your life is on you. For me, that means schedules, time to write, time to be creative, planning ahead, and more.

Honestly? Lately, I’ve been feeling like I to update my systems. Find better ways to make space for all my things. I’m thinking of it like this skirt, I know no matter what when I put it on, it will look and feel good. It’s like that, but for my schedule. (Or you could think of it as a new outfit formula- like all of the sudden figuring out that there are a million ways to do jeans and a tee- and they all work!).

Is it a weird time of year to be adjusting my systems? With us heading full steam into the holiday season, most of us get through, then readjust in the new year. While I understand that mindset, I know that I need the support now, and I thought- I’ll be playing with holiday looks all season, why not play with my systems?

So. I’ll be adjusting, trying out, scheduling, rescheduling and seeing what works for me. Like putting everything from a tee to a blazer with my new fave Mrs. Emily skirt, I’m looking for things that let me work, no matter what the day calls for. And I’m a bit excited to see what systems I come up with.

What about you? How are your life systems? Are you feeling supported by them? If you have any great tips, I would love to hear about them!
Xo RA

Investment Piece: Systems

This Barbie Wears Pink

Every October I love doing (at least one) pink post.
1- because while I don’t really think of myself as a “pink” person- I am. I love (especially) hot pink, wearing pink in various ways (especially the unexpected), and after Barbie The Movie, really embracing the sides of me that love all things pink. Essentially, I think I love surprising myself and you with this color that I never think I like

2- October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. My family is one those affected by this disease, and we lost my aunt this year (making clear not to cancer, she survived that- but Breast Cancer is still so hard). I had my first mammogram this year (absolutely a fine experience- more awkward because I’m one of those that even when I get massages want to help. Yes, I tried to help too much in my mammogram. BUT I got it. And I’m fine. And I’m excited to hear about yours). Usually in these yearly posts I link to various companies who give a portion of profit to Breast Cancer Research, etc. There’s a lot happening right now (and most likely more than one cause who needs your attention and money) I honestly haven’t even thought about that. It doesn’t mean that there aren’t great ways to shop and give to Breast Cancer (or other services), but beyond that, beyond wearing pink, perhaps what the people you know affected by this cancer need most is you. Being with them, listening to them, helping them. There are big ways to give- but the small ways can be the most impactful.

3-Again, I’ll tell you that I don’t wear a lot of pink. These posts remind me that I do. And in this spooky time- when I love putting together my Halloween costumes, when the holiday season is rapidly approaching (aka Christmas is already all over the stores) that it feels as if life and seasonal choices take over everything. Think about it- it’s Fall- we’re all into neutrals and costumes and then red and black and green for the holidays. So many choices are holiday coded so that there are times when wearing pink at this time feels a bit rebellious and a bit of a statement. Maybe I just really like being a bit different and pink at this time of year lets me indulge that.

Whatever the reason, October to me wouldn’t be the same without pink. And yes- I really do wear pink in my real life- if you do I would love to hear about it.

Here’s to all the reasons to pink and all of the amazing outfits it creates! XO RA

Fall Clean Out

a woman in a blue satin shirt dress and red over the knee boots in a hallway

I know, I know. We chat about closet clean outs in one of two ways: January, when we all feel the need to start anew. Or spring. (Which is close to January!) when we all hear or chat or talk “spring cleaning”.

And I think all of those close cleanings are super valid. To be fair- any time you take to deep clean or clean out your closet is valid. And yet-

Why don’t we chat about a fall clean out? It’s just as needed! From closets (there is a hug clean out from warm weather clothes to cold weather clothes) to cleaning (yes, clean now!)
Maybe it doesn’t sound as sexy or trendy- but I think it’s as necessary.
So this week I’m taking the time to not only clean out my closet: see here, here, here, here, and here.

Point being – now is a great time to go through your closet. Switch out from summer to fall

Maybe there’s nothing you want to get rid of. And yet it’s a great time to: clean all suits, coats, and jeans.See here, here, and

Or perhaps you’re into a new coat (and who could blame you!) Some of my new faves:

At the end of this week I’ll be sharing my fall wishlist – from suits to dresses to coats and more. This week I’ll also be spending some time in my closet seeing what I should let go of in my closet, what I should add, and what I need to mend/clean/replace/etc- and of course I will share that with you.

We’re at the start of a new season (and yet I know that the temps won’t show it automatically!) but I have a firm belief that perhaps fall is a bit like “if you build it, it will come”. Which for us means” let’s get the sweats and coats and more and make sure our closets are ready. The cool weather will come!

I can’t wait to share my wishlists and my fall fashion with you. What are you looking forward to in the new season that’s coming?
XO RA

Designer Spotlight: Rei Kawakubo

Investment Piece: Designer Spotlight: Rei Kawakubo

By now the Met Gala, theme of Rei Kawakubo, has come and long gone–you probably had an opinion about the red carpet, and may agree with me that Rhianna won it (just because she stuck to the theme). Or it may be a faint memory (in all of the Met Galas since). While we could chat Met Gala, themes, red carpets and Rhianna’s style, you may have a great grasp on those. What you may not have is a wide understanding of Rei Kawakubo, her designs, and her label Comme des Garçons. Loves, you should know. Kawakubo and Comme des Garçons are fashion in its highest form, and I don’t mean that you’ll find the perfect LBD; but in the sense that clothing will be playful, fantastical, experiment with shape, form, and gender roles, push boundaries, and be a calling to something higher.

Comme des Garçons and Kawakubo are known for original designs, big shapes, non-genderconforming designs, and mixing tailored pieces with corsets. The first few collections were done in only black, white and gray; and the runway shows to this day are more performance art than collection presentation. Comme des Garçons were the first to present designs that seem conventional now: unfinished hems, asymmetry, black, overblown and deconstructed silhouettes; what we wear today holds a debt of gratitude to these collections that read more like poetry than a standard runway. Kawakubo is known for playing with these themes:
-absence/presence
-design/not design
-fashion/anti-fashion
-model/multiple
-high/low
-then/now
-self/other
-object/subject
-clothes/not clothes
These these run through every collection and are on view in the 150 outfits on view at the Met.
Investment Piece: Designer Spotlight: Rei Kawakubo

Rei Kawakubo was born in Tokyo in 1942, the oldest of 3 and the only girl.After college she took a job in advertising/textiles, but also worked as a freelance stylist. With no design background, Kawakubo started her line in 1973, opening her first boutique in Toyko in 75. Comme des Garçons grew, adding a men’s line in 78, presenting in Paris in 81, and opening a Paris boutique in 82. Kawakubo now splits time between Paris and Toyko. Known for powerful and directional design that’s been called “radical abandonment of conventions” and “stunningly audacious”. Kawakubo not only dares to rework the relationship of clothes to the body, she involves herself in all business aspects from graphic design to advertising to shop interiors. However, Rei Kawakubo is till thought of as a recluse, an extreme introvert who keeps to herself; even though she is a fashion icon, she doesn’t think of herself that way.
Investment Piece: Designer Spoltight: Rei Kawakubo

Kawakubo and Comme des Garçons have inspired all aspects of fashion, as well as sub labels such as Junya Watanbe, Tao Kurihara, and Comme des Garçons Tricot. There are also several collaborations Comme des Garçons participated in including ones with :Fred Perry, Converse, Speedo, Nike, Moncler, Lacoste, Cutler and Gross, Chrome Hearts, Louis Vuitton, H&M, and Supreme (all of which might be found on a luxury resale site or eBay). Much of what we wear or think is cool is owed to Kawakubo.

Shocked that someone who is a self admitted shy girl can design clothes that make such loud statements? I’m not. Isn’t that part of the fun of fashion? It speaks for us, when we can’t? In fact my favorite quote about Kawakubo comes from Paul Gaultier, who said:
“I believe that Kawakubo is a woman with extreme courage. She is a person with exceptional strength. Moreover, she has a poetic spirit. When I see her creations, I feel the spirit of a young girl. A young girl who still has innocence and is a bit romantic. Yet she also has an aspect of a fighting woman, one who fears nothing as she thrusts forward.”
If your clothes can say all that, what else is left to say?

I’d love to know: what are your thoughts on Rei Kawakubo and the Met Gala?

XO

Investment Piece: Designer Spotlight: Rei Kawakubo

Other People’s Clothes

a woman in a green and white wrap dress, hair in a scarf and green loafers

I got into vintage in high school- I loved looking just a bit different than everyone else. The vintage love/obsession grew in my 20s/30s/plus as I realized that the quality, the style and the price I could afford were always unmatched. Shopping vintage lets me get amazing style and brands- that I may or may not have been able to afford “new”, and let me learn about so many FANTASTIC designers that I otherwise would have never knew existed. Vintage has added to my life (via friends and retailers) and closet (in too many items to count) in ways I could never replace.

I’m also a fan of wearing special pieces handed down from my family. From my grandma’s purse to my aunt’s dresses, to dresses from my BFF’s mom. When I wear something from someone I love I feel as if I’m carrying just a bit of them with me .

a close ip of Gucci mules with bamboo heel and a leather satchel

Resale? Huge fan! For quite a number of the same reasons above- I get to get items from seasons past, the quality, and the brand I love at a price I can often afford. This sometimes means that a lot of things I have aren’t new, but new to me. It also is how there are a ton of logos and brands in my closet.

And yet- I’m aware that this means that I’m wearing other people’s clothes. That has never bothered me. I’m not shy about buying most anything resale or vintage, from shoes on up. As long as I know it’s been cleaned, I often don’t worry at all about it. The thing is- I know that there are some people who do care. ALOT. About the fact that they are wearing other people’s clothes. Questions I get from the people who worry about other people’s clothes range from worrying about the cleanliness to not wanting to have old things.

Neither of those worries have ever been big concerns of mine. I tend to shop from reputable dealers/resellers, and in reality even putting your new clothes through the wash before you wear them is never a bad idea. In fact, I often love that I’m taking a piece from someone and giving it a new life- my own spin on it so to say.

These thoughts are brought to you by a social media post questioning how old is vintage (20+ years) and wondering if others ever really wore other people’s clothes. I was surprised by the people who thought differently than I do- and comforted by all the people who love vintage and resale like me!

Note- there is no right answer, we all have things we’re comfortable with!

But my question is – do you buy vintage and resell, aka other people’s clothes? And what are your thoughts on it?

I would love to know!
XO RA