It’s that time of the month! Dating horror stories, what went wrong stories, he’s the jerk stories, my lame attempt at pulling a Carrie Bradshaw- call it what you like, but I hope you enjoy! Search Ex Files in the search bar, but don’t read them all in one sitting-it’s not good for your heart! Xo RA
Dumped before an Event
I met Brian at a spin class. I love spin classes. He loved this spin class. One class we happened to ride by each other, and that became a thing. That thing led to coffees after class, which led to lunches, which led to an afternoon date that lasted till late night. It was perfect.
Brian didn’t seem like any guy I had dated before- but he was cool. Listened to the “right” music, we had tons in common, and like me, he was introverted. He seemed kind.
Right after our first “date” I had to leave for an extended work trip. I assumed, rightly or wrongly, that he and I would fizzle out. However, Brian texted me all day, every day while I was gone. I knew what he was listening to, what he was drinking, that he was thinking about me all the time. I got flowers (on the road), and cards. It would come as a surprise to no one that I returned thinking that Brian and I were a thing. And he seemed to think the same way.
The minute I landed- more flowers, more texts, more calls, more plans. We spent a week spinning together, eating together, and spending a ton of time together. While looking back, it was clearing love bombing, at the time, it just felt nice. I really believed in what we had going on.
So, when an event came up for a charity I volunteer for, I was happy to tell Brian about it. He was into it. Told me he would love to go, asked what he should wear, what kind of flowers he should get me, etc.
It meant a lot to me- it wasn’t a gala, but it was an event. One of those where you have to give your dates name and there’s a list at the door and it’s a DEAL. I was excited to bring someone, I was excited to how off Brian, I really believed in what we had- or what I thought we had.
The morning of the event, Brian and I had plans to spin together- which we did. But he was off, wouldn’t say hi, wouldn’t look at me. I could feel something was wrong, but in a dark room, on a bike, there’s not a lot of time for conversation. He left the gym right after class,and I thought maybe he has a bad day but it would work itself out. We were supposed to meet at 5:30 to go to my event. He called me 5 to let me know that he wasn’t coming, that he didn’t think of me as anything other than a friend, and that he thought I might be getting the wrong idea about his intentions. When I told him I thought I was only responding to what I thought he was putting out (no friend has texted me that much, send me flowers, told me that they wanted to be with me, etc) and that I was embarrassed that he was backing out of an event that I had to give his name to, with no time to replace him- he called me stupid and let me know that I was leading myself on.
I’m not going to lie- it sucked. I somehow pulled it together (girlfriends are the best) and went to my event and it was ok. I would love to tell you that it was the last time I spoke to Brian, but he texted me a few months later hoping I wouldn’t hold a grudge, that he was wrong to treat me so rudely, and he hoped I could give him another chance. I never responded. I couldn’t take the chance that I would put his name on another list that he would skip out on.
What happened to Brian? I wouldn’t know- but I will say, I hope he got left off some lists!
Have you ever been dumped right before an event? How did you bounce back?