I promise there is so much exciting, new content headed your way. Birthday weeks are always a little crazy, and always make me a little nostalgic. I can’t help but look back at some of my old looks, and my old celebrations. This post is from a few years ago. I had worn this sheer dress with just a body suit to a fashion event. And though my momma loves me, she doesn’t always love the fashion risks I take. So, that year, for her birthday, I knew that I had to style this dress the way she’d love it!
As I wrote:
My mom is my biggest fan and helper (she’s actually CFO of this little venture). She’s always has my back, always supports me, always is willing to help. And she’s not the biggest fan of all the sheer that I sometimes wear, and that is so on trend this season. Literally her thoughts when she saw thisNote: This post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!
I’ve been posting this on my mom’s birthday for a few years now- it’s become tradition. While my mom’s birthday isn’t till Tuesday, this is a big week for us- Mom’s birthday, my birthday, we celebrate my mom’s 50th college reunion this weekend as well as Mother’s Day. My mom and I are close, and yet different. However, as I get older I realize I’m more like her than I think, and I couldn’t be more grateful. Especially now, as some of us are apart from our families, I think about how the women in my life shaped me. I spent the past few years isolating with my mom- it wasn’t always easy, but I’m so grateful we did! Even though we spent the better part of the years not getting dressed up- I still learned about style from her over this past year. And yes, we’re getting dressed today! Hope whatever your relationship with moms are, this season lands easy. Xo RA
Loves! It’s my Momma’s birthday! (on Tuesday!) If you haven’t caught on, my mom and I are close, and I can’t begin to describe how much I love her, and how appreciative I am for all she does for me. Mom is a CPA and teaches accounting, she’s our CFO, and while that’s completely different from her creative daughter who thinks shoes are a necessity (I mean I need shoes, I occasionally want to eat); Mom’s style has influenced me and helped me become the fashionista I am today. So, what did I learn from Mom’s style? Glad you asked!
Stay True to Your Style
No matter the trend or what “you’re supposed” to do, sticking to what you love and what works for you is something to be admired–and makes you look stunning! Mom is a big fan of navy. She is known for her love of navy suits, shoes, and bags. There are years when navy is “in” and years when we’ve had to search for navy for Mom. That doesn’t matter to Mom, even when the styles she loves aren’t in she sticks to them. There’s a classic-ness in that, a commitment. That’s not to say Mom doesn’t try new things, but I’ve learned that you don’t need to be a slave to trends, that sticking to things you love is something to be commended, and when you find something that fits you–hang onto it!
Proper Undergarments Matter
Mom and I have had a lot of events recently and at everyone Mom has mentioned that she thinks I might need a slip. (Side note: I have slips, I’m not great at wearing them) Here’s the thing though: Mom may have a point. Lining, slips, proper garments: our clothes fit better when we make sure these things are taken care of. Proper fit is important (Mom is big on that too) and to ensure that the fit flows, proper undergarments help. (And let’s be honest, no one likes the look of lines!)
Invest in Your Suit
Something Mom and I agree about whole heartedly? Your suit, be it an actual suit, jeans or yoga pants, is something to invest in. Mom, being an accountant, is a fan of actual suits and made it a point to invest in good ones each year. Now that she’s in a place where she’s good on suits, Mom is having fun filling her closet with tanks, tops and blouses (both classic and trendy) to wear with her suits. However, she’s always adamant that her suits are high quality, she checks seams and linings, that it’s where she spends her money. And loves, I agree–what you wear the most should be where you invest your money.
Don’t be Afraid to Accessorize
Mom is a more conservative dresser than I am, yes. However, Mom is not too conservative for a great accessory! I can’t remember a time when Mom didn’t leave the house without a scarf, jewelry, pins, or gloves. We do a high tea occasionally, and Mom is always on point with her hats (and gloves!). The lesson? You can always be playful, and the details are always a place to have fun!
While Mom and I may have different opinions about certain fashions, but my Mom has some amazing style, and I’m so grateful she taught me all she knows!
Part of Put a Pin In It is VERY literal. Brooches are coming back. (And I’ve always had a thing for them and the stories they tell! Here’s a fashion stories on infamous brooches that have always inspired me here and here and here) Brooches are such an easy way to add a little something to an outfit. Here I’m literally (yes, literally) holding the top together- yes, it needs to be altered- with a brooch (the same articulated one! It’s just a fave of mine!). And it’s a way to put a pin in it.
Other ways to put a pin it? Revisiting outfits or ideas that didn’t work the first time around. Let’s be honest, not everything fits or works all the time. Is it wrong to wait and try again? Not according to me. Sometimes I think it’s best to let an idea – or outfit or post or writing or etc- lay for a bit if it’s not perfect or doesn’t fit right, etc the first time. With space and time we can come back, make it (all the things) work. Or we come back and make adjustments that make whatever we we were working on better.
The last way I know to put a pin in it? To make something- in this case an outfit your own. White is so chic for the season, but pairing it with wedges are a bit edgy with snake and gold accents? All me. A tube top? You can find one anywhere. Pairing a vintage one with a brooch? All Me. I think the trick is to take any outfit or any outfit formula, and put your own spin on it. That can be so small from your favorite colors to big things like accessories or statement pieces (shoes and brooches are the examples here, but there are so many to be worn!)
I loved pairing these vintage pieces together in a way that felt that was a statement to me. This brooch in this way? New and exciting to me! And yet, a way to make a too big top a fit for me. This outfit would call for sandals but picking ones that are a statement took the outfit from usual to all me. There are so many ways- from sticking to thinking outside the box – put a pin in your outfits. My wish for you this spring and summer is that you find all your own ways to use all the pins. And you need help I’d love to offer mine!
This outfit is made of vintage (skirt, top, brooch) and resell (sandals) pieces, but I’ve linked similar ones for your below!
XO RA
Note: This post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!
My birthday is next week. A week from today in fact! And I know, as adults, we aren’t supposed to make a big deal of birthdays, but I think they are a big deal. (though full disclosure I’ve forgotten the blog’s birthday for a few years now, even though I do think it’s a big deal!) We all get holidays, but birthdays are the one day we really get to celebrate ourselves. And while this post is about my wishlist (for the season and my coming year), I think about birthday wishlists being not only about the physical things we want (which I usually do have a lot of), but a way of making a wishlist of who we want to be in our next year. Yes, the wishlist can be about a dress or a suit, but it’s also about how we want to spend our time- the gym, at events, in dance class, on the pickle ball court, or in flattering jeans. I take my celebrations as not only day off- which I fully intend to take (full disclosure, I have no big plans and the grief and gratitude I have for being as old as I am are weirdly intertwined and probably not for this post- I’m still working those feelings out!), but a time to really set intentions for what I want to create.
As you know, I truly believe that our fashion is important as it’s a way for us to tell our stories, and our stories are important. So, what stories do I want to tell for the year that starts next Wednesday? I want to get out there again- from events (I do love a party dress) to dance class to finding joy in daily dressing. I’m love with 3 piece suits, and while I would technically never have the need for one- where could I wear one regularly? I have a list of casual dresses to throw on to my my errands chic, an update to summer sandals, and I’m looking for chic jeans. And a pair of great trousers. The new year is full of possibilities, and I’m still flushing out exactly which ones I’ll start pursuing, who exactly I want to be in the next year. It’s an exciting time. And I know that any and all of these amazing pieces will make the new me in the new coming year better. (I also hope that they inspire you and I give you permission to use my birthday as a reset for you too!)
Here’s what I’m shopping for my birthday- I can’t wait to spend the next year with you!
XO RA
Note: This post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!
And here is the link to one of my current wishlists (which doubles as a birthday wishlist!)
Shop here
I have a thing for sheer. It was one of my very first blog posts (see here: Is Sheer A Thing We’re Doing? note: I still have most of these sheer pieces and still wear them!), and I’ve also chatted this season about the sheer trend (see here. And this sheer pencil skirt is high on my spring wish list!)
Sheer is something I’m constantly drawn to- and when I think about it, it’s probably because sheer gives you the power to choose what you show, and what you reveal.
With wearing sheer you can show it all- or you can play hide and seek. A new favorite tip I got for wearing sheer is to put tonal leggings (or in this case biker shorts) underneath. It gives the illusion of being completely sheer, and yet, you’re completely covered.
(I also don’t judge if you show more with your sheer-there have been times when I have! But I love this tip as it’s a work and “proper” way of wearing sheer that leads to the illusion that you’re showing more than you might be!)
As for tonal? Tone on tone is so so chic- and yet adds to the mystery of sheer. Really isn’t that all that sheer is – a mystery or an illusion?
Perhaps my attraction to sheer is that it can be anything you need it to be. Sheer. Opaque. Classic. A bit more un-classic. I know you know that I truly believe that fashion is a way in which we tell our stories, and sheer gives us so much power over that. And sheer keeps changing over the seasons (we do too). It makes sense to me to keep playing with what we show, what we keep hidden, what sheers we wear and how we work them into our lives.
This skirt and this top are both years and years old. The shoes are resale – but I’ve found you similar for all! Here I’ve worn nude Spanx under the skirt- but there are so many other nude options, as well as leggings in all of the shades of the rainbow for all of your sheers! If you need help styling your sheer- both tonally and a bit more risqué- I would love to help! In the meantime I’ve linked options for this look for your shopping pleasure below!
XO RA
Note: This post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!
This is usually the part where I state (correctly I think) that if people want you to write (or remember or talk about them) warmly, they should behave better- but, what happens when it’s you that should have behaved better? OR more succinctly (and on trend)- it’s me, I’m the problem (in this one instance!).
Complete sidenote- my mom hates when I I quote the song where I got this title (AntiHero by Taylor Swift), but like a lot of people, I sometimes relate a lot to the lyrics, because sometimes we are the problem. The good thing is that we can see it, right?
SO. Recently I was chatting with a girlfriend about ghosting (which again I’ve written about here), and which usually I would agree that ghosting is not the best. However, upon reflection, I realized I recently ghosted someone (that does make me the bad guy). And I got to thinking about ghosting and hard conversations and what we do when we’re the villain.
Normally I would say that there’s not a reason to ghost. That we should all be aok with being honest about not wanting to see someone or seeing the relationship go anywhere or wanting to end things. Of course, like all rules, there are exceptions, and if you’re in danger or dealing with a volatile person I can absolutely get behind silence as the way to communicate. But, what about the times in between? And what do you you do when you catch yourself being the problem?
(Also I’m running out of fake generic names for Ex Files- a me problem- but if you have any suggestions I’m all ears!)
I’ve known Pedro for a few years. We’re not friends, and not quite colleagues, but run into each other at a side hustle I occasionally do, as well as on errands. He’s not a bad guy- but I have to say he’s not someone I would seek out to spend time with. Pedro has never made me uncomfortable, but there’s just something – I don’t see us being close. However, on this side hustle gig, Pedro does (sort of) have some power over me. A few months ago, I went to work a shift for this side hustle gig and there was not enough product for me to complete my shift- meaning I got to go home with full pay. Pedro was the one who signed off on this. Completely normal and happens. I was asked to leave my cell number with Pedro-JIC- which I was happy to do! Then, I started getting texts. Nothing creepy, nothing awful – mainly just wishing me a good day and asking generic questions. At first, I didn’t mind the banter back and forth.
Then, he started calling me beautiful a bit much (I like compliments as much as the next person but it felt like a bit much). And I started getting questions like: “What’s your address?” Which I don’t answer. These, of course, were mixed in with other comments, etc. But. I just stopped responding. At first, it was an honest mistake – I got a late text that I simply forgot about, but then he texted again. And again. I still haven’t answered.
I completely own that I could have just set my boundaries (no address, I’m not really interested, etc), but once I let a text go- it was just easy to let them all go. It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me. This is not me asking for understanding- I get what I did- and am still a bit nervous about running into Pedro again! Sometimes we are the villain, the problem, the one who will be written about- and I’m dealing with that.
How do you deal with being the problem when you recognize you are? Do you have great tips on setting boundaries so you don’t have to ghost? I’m open to hearing it all!
XO RA
My psoriasis (a recent development that I mentioned here) has flared up this week (and may be spreading!), making everything from getting dressed to taking pics a bit more difficult than it should be. I’m currently working on the rash- in the meantime I’m looking back at what I want to wear and this dress tops the list! I do love a good 2 in 1! xo RA
Know what makes a great investment piece? Something that’s classic. Something that lasts. Something that’s 2 in 1.
This is one of my current favorite dresses. You’ve seen it more than one time on Instagram. And one of my most favorite things about this favorite thing? It’s 2 in 1, in more than one way.
Yes, it’s a great plaid maxi dress. The v cuts make it stand out, and it’s perfect coloring for both fall and spring. But look a little closer. See those Palm trees? There’s a whole other print going on, and I love how it peaks out, giving the dress another dimension. 2 in 1. I love pairing it with this metallic bralette. And heels. But I also love throwing a jean jacket and my sneakers on with it. 2 in 1.
Why settle for a dress that is less?
This 2 in 1 dress is via BreeLayne, who specialized in substainable fashion. You might have read about her here. The label has shut down (sadly), but I can’t resist going back to it over and over!
Any time I find a dress that is a great investment, 2 in 1, and a deal I can’t help but fall in love. When that same dress is good for the environment and designed by someone who is a doll, I can’t help but go back to it over and over.
While this brand and dress is no longer available, I have found similar dresses for you below!
XO RA
Note: This post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!
I grew up in a house with a mom who LOVED Doris Day. We just to sing “Que Sera” and put on her movies whenever on of us had a bad day. From Pillow Talk to Caprice, and everything in between, my family loved her acting, feel good movies, and “good girl” image.
Weirdly enough, I didn’t think about Doris Day’s fashion until her passing. Did I know she always looked amazing? Yes. In my opinion, Doris mastered the casual before it was chic, but could also rock a fur coat (both are goals). And then, when she passed, so many pictures of Doris Day were posted and I couldn’t help but think: I”d love to get in her closet.
Sadly, we can’t.
Luckily, I have a solution. My mom sent me the below video of Doris Day and her style. It fascinates me. And only makes me want to copy every single outfit.
We all have a fashion story! I hope you enjoy Doris Day’s as much as I did!
Xo RA
I went to update this look/post and realized I shot almost frame for Frame the same looks. Some things never change? Or classics always last? Either way, suits are in this season- I’m into the pant/vest/blazer look – but I also LOVE these, and keep going back to them!
XO RA
We all know that I love a good juxtaposition. And I do. But the one I may love the most? A short suit. AKA a pair of shorts and a blazer- which bares the question- could any shorts and blazer be a suit? That may be a question for a much longer post, but what I do know is that I LOVE a good short suit. Try saying that 5 times fast.
This is where I let you know (as with every set) that with a suit that you can style every piece a million different ways- the shorts, the blazer – together, apart- all a million different ways.
But, a short suit is especially dear to my heart. Because it’s very professional. And very easy to style for a party.
Check out this video for more styling tips:
I do love this short suit as is (Aka I pinned the blazer to make it a top)
And then of course you could wear any top of your liking underneath the blazer (or with the shorts). I paired a silk shirt and switched my shoes from platforms to heels to elevate the look:
This variation is perfect for any work (in the hotter months) event. Or any event where shorts may be appropriate but you need to elevate the look.
Of course the most versatile aspect of a short suit is that you can style any short suit for a part like:
Yep.That’s a short suit styled with a strapless bathing suit (scarf optional).
Short. Suits are one of my most favorite things, and vey en vouge, ad the encompass all of your casual needs while looking completely professional.
You can find short suits new. Vintage. Make your own with your favorite shorts and blazer. A short. suit. is what you make it. Perhaps that’s what I like most about it!
Below I’ve linked this short suit and other options, as well as shoes.
Note: These heels are my beloved Sarah Flint Perfect Sandals and you can get $50 off your own pair with code SARAHFLINT-BAINVESTMENTPIECE.
How are you wearing a short suit?
XO RA
Note: This post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them! Thank you for your support!
It feels as if my life has been a comedy of errors lately. And that’s not always a bad thing, but I am wary to make plans as none of the plans that I have made recently- from friends to pilates classes- have some to pass. Some of the things that I’ve had to break plans for have been AMAZING (print jobs, acting gigs, etc) but some things have been comical- weather and other extensional reasons. Yet, no matter what the reasons I’m missing my routine. And my friends. AKA Nothing ha been doing to plan, I’ve had to cancel too many times, I’m constantly scrambling to readjust my plans. What I’d really love to do is catch up.
So my goal for this next season (Taurus, like me! if you’re into that sort of thing, or just late spring) is to get to follow through with my plans. Classes. Lunches and more with friends. Shoots on certain days. I know not everything is in my control- from weather on down- but everything that is in my control- I’m willing it to go towards catching up.
Also-this goal to catch up doesn’t only apply to my plans (which I AM going to stick to), it also applies to me. From my workouts to my writing schedule (which I’m still working on solidifying), I’m looking to keep commitments this seasons- especially if the commitments in question are to myself. But how do you make catching up to yourself a thing when your work is always in flux? Honestly, I’ve been working as an actress since I was 20 and as a blogger for the past 8 years and I still haven’t figure that out 100%.
But for both me and my social plans I can’t Not plan on anything coming up (yes, I know that’s a double negative). Perhaps what I mean is that no one can ever see all the turns life will throw at you. What I can say is that I am determined to get to catch up. Stick to my plans. If I have to cancel reschedule right away. Maybe it’s a way of being more on top of my schedule, or maybe it’s a way of not letting my life get away. Catching up, at its heart, is about sitting down and listening to some else. And perhaps what I’m craving is really listening to my friends, and me, so that I can adjust my plans.
The coming up season- from birthdays to weddings to showers to graduations is a bit overwhelming, which makes it a perfect season to stick to catching up on what you need- and making that a priority. Exactly what I plan on doing.
Wishing us all a week of plans that follow through and amazing shoes!
XO RA
