Ex-Files: The One Who Commented on my Weight

Investment Piece: The Ex-files

Loves! It’s that time of month again: I dish out stories from the front lines of dating and you grab your popcorn! Need more check this one and this one out!

With no further ado I give you:

The One Who Commented on my Weight

There isn’t one among us who hasn’t put their foot in their mouth at some point; I know that I’m guilty of that sin. However, there are times when you put your foot in your mouth, and times when you choke on it.

I met Ben at an audition. (Yes, in the running for one of the most LA things I’ve ever written). He was charming, funny, and your average LA Actor type. We exchanged numbers and decided to meet for dinner the next week after work. Nice. Normal. Nothing to be over dramatic about.

Before our date there were the usual texts, just enough to give you hope for the evening of; the only issue with hope is that it can be dashed. Now, let’s be clear, the date wasn’t completely horrid (and to this day I don’t think he meant to be malicious). We went to an improv show and laughed. We went to dinner, and things got awkward.

Dinner with actor types is always a minefield, between shoots, cleanses, and general pickiness, you never know what food issues the person you’re with has. It can be a comedy of errors or a night of horrors. The general rule of thumb though is you handle it with grace and humor, and then you can go back to your friends and complain about them. So, I thought nothing of ordering my meal with double veggies instead of carbs (it’s just what I do). However, in retrospect the carbs would have been easier to deal with.

Without waiting for an opening, Ben decided to comment on my order. He also choose to let me know that I “should try working out to control my weight problem”. Yep, that’s the quote. I don’t believe that one’s weight, workout regime, or food order are anything to comment on (unless you want to go to spin class with a person or some of their fries). Now, years later I’m still not sure what the appropriate response to this comment is (was). Ask for tips? Mention that I have it under control? Admonish anyone for thinking that weight control is an appropriate place to start?

Ben, however, took my silence as eagerness for information. The next 45 mins were spent with Ben giving me all sorts of workouts I could do. He recommended running (so I could lean out), lifting (so my arms could look great), and playing basketball (because he enjoyed it). I may have been silent but I sat there giving Ben the death stare, sighing, and grabbing my knife tightly. Ben might be a funny actor, he wasn’t the best at picking up social cues.

After dinner, we went our seperate ways. I hear from Ben occasionally (one time he even complimented my legs). I don’t wish him ill, and (again) I truly don’t think that he was trying to be mean. However, the comment and the lecture on working out was a bit much for me (side note: my day job at the time was Spin Instructor, he knew that).

How would you have handled that?


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Actress, avid shopper, and a lover of fashion. Hoping to make the world a better place one pair of shoes at a time.