We live in a world where FOMO (fear of missing out) is in the dictionary. I’m not 100% sure how I feel about it, but I know that it’s a real thing. We chatted Thursday about Festival Style, and I’m here at SXSW for the week. Between acting, fashion, LA, TX, festivals, film fests, parties, events, etc I always know of something going on, there are things I attend and have a great time at, things I skip, and times I get FOMO, worrying about all that I’m not doing. I get it. It seems like there is more and more to go to, and more and more to miss out on. But is it really missing out? And should we fear it?
I could go to an event every night, and there are times (like SXSW) when there are what seems like 12 events per night. There are times when I flat out can’t make every event, and times when I get sad about that. I don’t have answers about curing FOMO. I think it’s part of human nature to want to be in the know, to have fun, to want to be included (by our friends or society). In my 20s I tried to make every event, do all the things, be everywhere. I had some great times, but what happened most of the time was that I was tired. There are times when I still attempt to be at every little thing, and feel that pang when I don’t get an invite, or attend, what seems to be a great time. However, the older I get the more comfortable I am missing out–not that it’s great–but I know it isn’t the end of the world, and sometimes missing out leads to a great time. I’m by no means letting you know that I’ve cured FOMO, but I have developed some coping strategies.
One of the things about myself that I have learned to love as I have gotten older is that I’m an introvert. (If you know me in real life and are surprised: I’m outgoing, I love people, but I get my “recharge” from time alone). Needing time alone and purposely spending nights in sounds like a recipe for FOMO; however, my trick is to pick and choose wisely. I go to the events that I really want to. And I like my time alone, like watching movies, and reading. I recognize that my self care is an important part of my life; and trust that when I “miss out”, it’s not a loss as I’m enjoying what I’m doing. It’s about doing to do what really makes you happy that night, and being confident in that. Not to bury the lead here, but for me this really is the secret. I try to really spend my time in ways that I enjoy. This means I do different things each night. This can still mean I miss things, but if I’m enjoying myself at another event, or on my couch, is it really missing out? I still can over stretch myself, but I work hard not to; trust me, no one likes the me that goes and makes it to allll the events–she’s tired, has a people hangover, and isn’t fun.Respecting my need for balance, and choosing things I enjoy have really helped my FOMO.
However, with social media, it’s not hard to get FOMO at times. There are always pics and posts about the “greatest night ever” and it’s easy to fall into the trap of wanting to be a part of the action. I am very aware of the fact that what I’m about to say is “Mom” advice, but it works (go Mom!). Remember that we’re sharing our high lights on social media, and that “the best night ever” posts aren’t telling the whole story. No one posts about the long lines, crowds, spilled drinks, surge charges for Ride Shares, achey feet, and hangovers. So, yes, maybe people are out having fun with out you; but maybe people are also out not having fun without you. Not to sound like a broken record, but again, it’s only missing out if it’s something you really want to be doing. Even then, missing out for things like self care and other activities isn’t really missing out. Is it?
I don’t think FOMO is going anywhere, but I also know that the more I concentrate on filling my time with things I love to do, the less I worry about missing out. Maybe instead of worrying about FOMO, what if we embrace the ebb and flow? There are nights when you’re out and people are jealous of you balanced by the nights you’re home nursing FOMO. OR, let’s just say “forget about it” and spend time with people and activities that make us happy. This is where I admit that on Friday night I was in bed by 10–and I loved every minute of it.
What are your coping tips for FOMO? Do you get it, or do you have a cure for us?
Wishing us all a week of things that make us happy and amazing shoes! XO RA
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