Category: Sunday Chronicles

Sunday Chronicles: I Can Do It With a Broken Heart…

a palm tree and fire in the Hollywood hills- from NBC 5 Chicago
From NBC 5 Chicago- the fires in LA burning

On Friday I not only mentioned that the LA Fires are breaking my heart, I listed some vetted resources where you can help. My heart? Still breaking. Not only was LA home for oh-so-many-years, and is still home in so many ways, my loved ones are still there. From afar, I know Hollywood and LA seems glitz and glam, full of celebrities- but the neighborhoods getting burned are not only people you see on TV (who may not be as rich as you think), but regular people with dreams and families. The thought of not only losing a house, but everything inside and all the memories? I am still having problems being productive because the images and thoughts and worries upset me so. It’s that thing where I am desperate to follow all the news and yet attempting to distract myself as well.

In short, for all of us I think it’s an emotional and difficult time. And that’s from afar. Like me, you might be desperate to help but unsure of how to start. There are so many organizations and go-fund me’s out there. But. Here we do fashion. And I can only imagine how devastating losing my closet would be-so I am using that as fuel for how to help.

There are so many brands who are making care packages, or are donating profits to recovery efforts. Some I love:
ClareV has a “Los Angeles Je T’aime” collection with proceeds going to relief.
And you can find a comprehensive list of what brands are doing what (yes, some brands are giving money- but if you see your faves here it’s another reason to shop with them!) here and here.

January is a time where most of us clean out our closets. I am no exception- I’ve had it on my list to switch my closet from summer to winter for a while, and was going to use that to do a clean sweep. Now, I am especially motivated as I will take my clothes and contact SecondsMarket– they will pair you with someone in need and help with shipping or drop offs.
(Please note, no matter where you are I have seen so many stores organize clothing drives, so look into your local stores as well for places to donate!)

Another way to give fashion?

Well Cloth’d is partnering with @ShopQuirkLA to collect clothing and essential items. They’ve created an Amazon wish list for those who would like to send new items directly. They’re also collecting gently used items. You can also help by donating via their Venmo (@wellclothd) to help with shipping costs.

Also, Baby2Baby are donating baby supplies (including diapers and formula) to those in need. You can donate at the link.

I know charity links and ways to help are being updated all over your feeds and the news. Disaster on this scale can be overwhelming – and I know this isn’t the only thing happening in the world. The way we get through this- and anything – is each other. Even if we can only give a little, even if we only can only help one person- anything we do in love, in community, for each other helps. We save each other.

I hope that you will join me, in however feels best for you, to giving and helping what we can.

Wishing us all a week of no fires and amazing shoes! XO

Sunday Chronicles: Daring to Suck

Investment Piece: Setting the Tone

It’s the time of year when (most of us) set goals, think about what we want from the year, and make plans to go after it. In other words, make resolutions. There are much better sources on how to make and keep your resolutions, and how to deal with all of the things that come up while trying to change your habits. As I’m right in there with you, I don’t know that I am in any authoritative position to dole out advice.

But. The past few years have been – difficult in some ways to say the least. And I know that there are goals that I am determined to make progress on this year- and things I’m determined to get back to. I’ve been thinking a lot about goals and resolutions, and how to best achieve them and I have 2 main thoughts that are helping me.

First: Astrologically and Seasonally the “new year” doesn’t start till March/Spring/Aries Season. That’s not to say that we shouldn’t start changing our habits or going after our goals. It’s a bit of grace to tell ourselves that now, in this first week of January, we don’t have to go all or nothing. We don’t have to get it all done today. If the new year is still a bit away, we can make changes now to enter that season as our best selves- but we don’t have to kill ourselves to change over night.

This thought is helping me when things seem overwhelming or change seems too big. I remind myself that I have time- and that what matters is progress, even if it’s slow and tiny.

Second: I’m reminding myself that it is brave and change only comes when you dare to suck. Daring to suck may sound a little weird. It’s a saying that one of my acting coaches used all the time, and I’ve been hearing lately, meaning that to get good at anything- anything!- you have to be bad at it first. Any change (habit, goal you’re after, skill, etc) usually doesn’t come easily. To do something new well there is almost a guarantee that you will fail at it first. Most of us quit when we fail- it’s hard and brave to not be good at something and keep going till you get good at something.

One of my goals this year is to get back in shape. Cliche, I know. And not a discussion on anyone’s body. Personally, I love a great workout and my body looking a certain way, and this year between illness and injury I haven’t been able to do the physical things I like in the way I like them. Loves, it sucks to not be able to run/spin/dance the way I once could. It’s discouraging to be a bit more out of shape than I would like. Yet, every time I get on the treadmill or bike or sign up for a class, I remind myself that it’s ok to suck at all of that. That each time I do those things I’m getting better; and that sucking at something is a natural place to start. This mindset is keeping me going- and helping me get better. How’s that for ironic?

How are you sticking to your resolutions? Are you daring to suck? Do you believe in that? I would love to hear any and everything you got!

Wishing us all a week of sucking less and amazing shoes! XO RA

Sunday Chronicles: Holiday Traditions!

It’s an odd year for me- to say the least. With house demo and repairs- and the reality sinking in we will be without a kitchen for the holiday- this season is. Not usual. And while I am currently unable to wrap my head around gifts or shopping (well. For gifts!), I am clinging to some of these traditions to feel a bit like a holiday. I’m watching (fave) Christmas movies on repeat, I’ve been out to look at lights (and even put up a few) and have been brainstorming ways to get my holiday meals in. I’d love your thoughts on my traditions below- and I’d also love to know:
When your seasons aren’t usual how do you feel like a holiday?

image

I recently looked over this list of holiday traditions that I wrote about. My list remains largely unchanged. And I’m happy! From eating to pjs to wishing for snow, I love my traditions and I can’t wait to dive right into them. What I’m adding this year? The tradition of grace- there’s so much changing, and we’re adapting. There are good days and bad. I’m not productive then I am. Grace is the thing I bet we all need most this year. And the faith that whatever we get done (or don’t), it’s enough. It’s something I’m adding to my list of things to do this year!

Traditions. They seem to be something that we cling to (maybe), enjoy, and are prominent at this time of year. If you think about what you enjoy at this time of year, most likely it can be traced back to a tradition. Me? I love traditions, especially holiday traditions. There’s something comforting about them, and if we let them, I’ve found that we can let them grow with us. There are things that I did as a child that I still love to do, and there are traditions that started a few years ago, and I love adding them to my list. No matter what or how you celebrate this is a season of tradition and family- and one of my favorites!
A few of my favorite traditions include:
1. Wishing for snow and collecting snow globes. Living between two places not known for their snow I’m obsessed. I love the fake snow that abounds and my goal is to one day see a ton of snow.
2. Decorations – I love all the holiday lights, trees, fake snow- all of it!
3. My sister, mom, and I get matching pjs for a gift on Christmas Eve- even though we’re no longer young it still makes waking up on Christmas special.
4. Traditional meals- not just the holiday meal but my mom’s Wassal (hot drink), her beef stroganoff on Christmas Eve, cookies, my Grandma’s Dr Pepper meatballs- it’s a season of eating.
5. Events like the Nutcracker. I love the ballet and as many times as I’ve seen it I just love the costumes, and dances. Related- this season I will watch “Miracle on 34th Street” about 1000 times.

I’d love to know – what are some of your traditions? What are you looking forward to?

Wishing us all joy and amazing shoes! XO RA

Sunday Chronicles: Hauls

If you’re VERY online, you know that there has been a lot of discourse about hauls (when someone buys anywhere from 10-50 pieces at a time, usually from a fast fashion retailer). And people have opinions. I have opinions. There has been advice from where to shop instead of fast fashion, to just stop hauls and shopping fast. But more important than all of that, I think the questions we should be asking ourselves is how can we find joy in really finding our style and taking our time building our wardrobes. Let’s chat about it!

And one of the dresses from my vintage “haul” (aka all of the lovely clothes that a neighbor gifted me when she and her daughter cleaned out their closets) I’m on the fence about. I love the color and the details- and it would need to be taken in (and there are so many options on how to do that!). So- what do you think? Keep or sell?

a woman in a blue dress leans against a door frame

Wishing us all a week of intentional shopping and amazing shoes! XO RA

Sunday Chronicles: Moving Forward

a woman in navy floral off the shoulder pant suit on a bed with a crochet bed spread

If this was a hard week for you? Same. If you’re still grieving and unsure? Same. If you’re not sure what to do right now? Same!

But what I do know is that we have to get up and get back to work. So, some things that I am thinking about and working towards during this time:

– Taking things at their word. Which means tariffs and price increases from 40-70% are coming. Are there any electronic or European brand needs that I have? Can I get them now? Can I make big payments now?
-Turning to restyling and vintage styling. Yes- I will always believe in using fashion for our stories, and while our fashion may change, I wonder how we can change with them. Mending and laundry care will also become important and I will do my best to help with all of this!
-Fashion as a statement. I no longer mean being bold or “fashionable”. I mean how can we tell the story of what we are going through with our choices? What is safe and what should we push on?
-How do we maintain joy? Joy in itself is resistance
-Looking to the lessons of history (yep, so much of where we are has happened before!) how can we use those?

And perhaps most importantly, how can we continue to build and show up for our communities?

I don’t know that I have any of these answers- quite frankly I am still wrapping my head around everything. But I do have faith in us- from our red lips down to our fantastic shoes. If there is a need or a skill you have- could you share it with us? If there is something you have specific knowledge in, could you share? If you just need a friend- could you share?

My biggest hope is that the worst doesn’t happen, but I know we have to prepare for it. I only know that if it is an act of defiance- I want to look amazing. And have amazing shoes. And of course- be with you.

Anything you need to say or share we are here.

Wishing us all a week of peace and amazing shoes! XO RA

Sunday Chronicles: Falling In

Investment Piece: Day Off

In the States, this morning we started Daylight Savings Time- aka Fell Back, aka gained an hour of sleep. And while, in general I am anti messing with the clock (it throws me off no matter if we move forward or back!), I am pro more sleep. However, this year I can’t help but think: if we are given the gift of an extra hour how can we best use it?

(I know that’s not exactly how it works, but the thought is true!)

As we know, my life has been in a state of chaos lately. I will not deny that it’s been a lot, and lead to some depression. Fall is usually one of my favorite seasons, but this year it’s just been- not great. And it doesn’t help that it’s not even remotely chilly where I am (and I love sweater weather!). With the extra hour to fall in, I decided this week that while things are what they are, I would get it together this week. Get back to my workouts, my outfits, my life- and find some joy. Lofty ambitions, but I think doable and conveniently those things build on one another. I can’t control contractors or work on the house, but I can control me and how I spend my hours- even the extra one. So. What do I plan on doing with the extra hour we’re falling in?

-Moving my closet from summer to “winter”. Also a little bit of clean out. It’s a bit difficult when the weather isn’t cooperating, but maybe cool weather is a “if we build it, it will come” thing?
-Getting on a routine. From bed times to workouts to meals- I have been all over the place lately. I am yearning for a schedule that lets me do all that I want to, all that helps me thrive, and also combats the blues!
-Read for pleasure. In fact, just pick up a hobby or two in general- I can’t remember the last time I did something just for the joy of it, and think it may be a missing piece of my life
-Regular posting and outfits. Being a bit down, having the house torn apart has left me in sweats (though nothing wrong with that!) and being inconsistent with posts, etc (especially on IG). I want to get back to a routine here as well!

I know that all of these goals won’t fit into one hour- but if I am given the gift of time, why not use all of it? We may as well try, right? (Though honestly, I will probably also sleep a bit more too!)

What are you planning on doing with your extra hour?

Wishing us all a week of extra time and amazing shoes! XO RA

Sunday Chronicles: The Bright Side

a woman in black tap shoes and leg warmers and shorts in front of French doors

I have written – at this point more than once, and I am sure not for the last time- about the home damage and unexpected repairs and renovations. And yes, it’s not been great here. However, because of who I am, how I was raised, and a firm belief that what we concentrate on increases, I can’t help (or hope) but to be positive. Look on the bright side, if you will.

Has this past week or so been awful? Uncomfortable? Sent me into anything but fashion? Yes.

Yet- this is a chance to redo floors, the kitchen and more (obviously not 100% free in any way) but with insurance help. And. Today, for the first time in weeks, I did something that I kinda always wanted to do, just for me, just for fun. I tapped dance on our wood floors. I took dance in my younger years, and while tap was never something I kept up with, it is something that’s not only fun and feels good– but maybe is a way to stomp things out. In past, prior to knowing the floors would be replaced I would have never put on my tap shoes and gone to town on parquet. Knowing it will be replaced? It gave me some freedom.

Note: I haven’t taken a class in years. Moves came back, but I am in no way, shape, or form good or should be considered so. But it was fun. I laughed. I felt good. I LOVED it. Tap may become a part of my routine as long as I have floor that’s being replaced. There is something to be said about doing something without worrying about if you’re good, or what people will think (though I am totally putting my dance on the Gram today! Why not!); but just doing something for pleasure. And again- stomping proved to be a great stress relief!

I am well aware that there are going to be days ahead that are not going to be great. Times when I again get overwhelmed and have big feelings from sadness to stress. I will worry about my cats and have days when my fashion story is oh-so-casual. BUT. In all that- I will get a new kitchen and floors and until then I will get to dance. A fair trade? We are still waiting, but while we are here, it just seems as if the sane thing to do is to dance (or look on all the bright sides) as much as we can.

Wishing us all a week of only bright sides and amazing shoes! Even those that tap! XO RA

Sunday Chronicle: Constant Resets

a woman with red nails, a blue cameo ring and a blue clutch

I have attempted to be really honest about how lately things have been — off? hard? more stressed? almost like a midlife crisis (and I hate that as it admits perhaps I am midlife and no longer a youth!)! In general- this summer has been a lot. I have been overworked in my day job, which has affected everything, led to some burnout — and yet I haven’t found a balance. (Also, someone has to pay for my shoes!) My closet collapsed and even that felt like a BIG deal (when it probably shouldn’t have). Basically this summer has felt like a series of constant resets. Much like how we all say on Mondays our diets would start, I feel as if this summer has been a constant reset of : my closet, my balance, my workouts, diet, and more. It’s been discouraging as it’s felt as if instead of having answers or getting ahead; or at least, doing what I love, I have constantly been resetting. Restarting. Adjusting. And doing it all over again. Honestly, I’ve been a bit depressed. This summer was not supposed to be a reset– but a way forward. A bit of fun. Time in the water and fantastic outfits.

Then. Today, of all days, I had a thought that shifted my perspective: what if life is just constant resets? Instead of focusing on all that I haven’t done, or all I need to redo, what if I could accept that each season of life is a bit of resetting? What if life is constantly adjusting to what’s happening and reseting as we go along? So we don’t have to be depressed or beat ourselves up- we could just reset like we drink our coffee and make the most of it? This thought shifted me from being so down to having a bit of hope– and feeling a bit good.

Don’t get me wrong- I know it’s the last quarter of the year. There are things I want to do- from making strides to putting together my closet (again). Yet, instead of being down about it, I am choosing to look at these resets- and the resets to come- as things to get excited about. Perhaps the constant resets are a chance to really get things right, to do everything I really want, and to take my time with things. Maybe resets are opportunities to get things perfect. Are resets, even constant ones, things to celebrate? I truly don’t know. But I have been acting as if the resets were little deaths- and little celebrations and second chances seem much more fun.

So I don’t know about you, but that’s what I am going to try- celebrating and enjoying constant resets.

How do you handle it when you have to reset again and again? How do you stay upbeat? And what do you think the constant resets mean?

Wishing us all a week of wins and amazing shoes! XO RA

Sunday Chronicles: Am I Too Old For This?

a woman in a white teeshirt, pink Chanel Boulce skirt, and white and black boots leans against a white trelice

As an actress, I’m sure that it’s no surprise to you that I’ve lied about my age at times. (Yep, the youngest you think I am- that’s it!) Age is an issue in our society. Especially as a woman. And I wish I could tell you that aging is not something that I worry about, that I just see aging as a privilege (because it is!), and I never let age affect any of my choices- fashion or otherwise.

But.

That wouldn’t be honest. The weird thing? I’m more confident the older I get. I’m more accepting of myself, I’m ok with my own needs and stating them, and while when I was younger there were things that I wore and did that I didn’t think twice about- there are things I would do and wear now with so much more confidence (which feels like I’m repeating myself- but maybe I’m so old I can’t think of another word!).

Here’s the thing. Youth is great, it does have that glow and it gives you an edge for some things. Age also can be great, and it has its own edge. I have loved being young and there are things I’m loving about being old. However.

I’m not 100% sure I know how to grow old graciously. Or dress for my age. Or not try too hard (another huge sin that would be another post). My mom and dad have both said that one of the weird things about aging is that you’re all your ages at once, from 17-70. They’re not the first to say that and I’m no where near 70. But I get it. Funny enough, if you were to ask me- from fashion to other choices- I would tell you to make the choice that makes you feel great, that you feel comfortable in, that brings you joy. I love IG and more accounts of “older” women, I love my own fashion sense, I have no issue with so many things.

So. Why is there this occasional voice in my head warning, worrying, and get worked up about being too old- to wear certain outfits. Example:

a crop turtleneck with a pleated leather skirt and black boots
I love this take on a shirt and pleated skirt. You could absolutely play with the length of the shirt- or layer a cardigan or blazer over. Yet. And I hate asking this- but am I too old for outfits like this?

I love this outfit. In my 20s I wouldn’t have worn it as I was so self conscious. And even being older- knowing the crop doesn’t HAVE to be that short, and that the waist of the skirt (if high enough) can cover a lot, I would love to wear something like this. Am I too old? Would I be judged for doing so? Would be seen as yet another woman desperately trying to cling to youth?

This is what I think constantly and at the same time I hate thinking it. And I have no answers. I’ve asked friends who told me that it would be fine to wear, I would tell friends and you that it’s fine to wear- so why do I worry about being too old?

And while this blog (and post) are so fashion focused, it’s not just fashion where I worry about being too old. It’s the beginning (early or not) of the holiday season. And I love holidays. From Halloween costumes to cooking at Thanksgiving to believing in Santa (his whole purpose is magic and presents- what’s not to believe?!), I enjoy the magic and the holiday feelings that come this time of year. Then. I’m not a mom, I’m a VERY fun Auntie. Am I too old to get into things the way I do?

IF I am too old for all of this- from holidays to outfits, what’s the answer? Do we grow smaller? Give up parts of ourselves? Or is this all a worry that we only think of- remember no one else judges us like we do! I truly have no idea. This isn’t some place where I have big thoughts because, really and truly, I’m figuring this out as I go along- usually day by day.

I want to be the kind of confident that wears what I feel good in and brings me joy, and gives myself fully to experiences. I’m still battling the voice in my head that says I’m too old for certain things (and I think the hard thing is that I do think some things are too young for me– which may also be a completely different post!).

Do you deal with this voice in your head- do you worry about being too old? How do you deal with it? And do we think I should wear this outfit? I want to hear your thoughts!!

Wishing us a week of ageless confidence and amazing shoes!! XO RA