They say that friends are some of the most important things in life–and while cliche sounding, it’s true. Recently I have had friends be generous with their time, their support, and their homes. No matter what happens in life it is beyond comforting to know that staying up late and chatting with a friend–or having a place to stay when you most need it–is simply a matter of calling a friend.
The love and support I have gotten from my friends recently got me thinking–adult friendships are so much more complex than the grade school friendships, where sometimes friendship was as simple as always being in the same class. So following are some of the lessons I’ve learned about being adult friends:
- Friendships take as much effort as romantic relationships. Yes, they’re different but as adults we have different jobs, schedules, responsibilities, and time constraints. While spur-of-the-moment plans can happen families, jobs, etc often make that an impossibility. So you have to make time for each other. Check in, catch up. Make plans and stick to them. Forgive each other when you have to cancel, and understand when plans fall through. Can this be difficult? Yes, but having plans with a friend can make a long week bearable.
- You will have different friends for different needs. Your friendships will rise and fall like waves. All of this is ok. Not every friendship is the bonded at the hip variety–sometimes it’s just the people you chat with at the gym every day. These relationships are no less important than your besties–they can still make your day. Also due to life friendships will crest, there are times when you can be super close and then lose touch–the good news is a good friend is a good friend, and no matter the distance always show up when they’re needed.
- You can break-up with a friend and it can hurt worse than your worst romantic break-up. I’ve been there. And yes, as above, sometimes it’s just a crest–but sometimes the friendship has turned toxic. Sometimes we grow apart and aren’t treated as well as we should. Sometimes it’s a conversation and sometimes friends just fade away. If it was a close and important relationship it can hurt like hell. I recommend shopping and wine to get you through.
- Your friends will experience life at a different pace than you –and that’s amazing. You may be the first to get married–or the last. Someone who put their career first or a stay-at-home-mom (still a job). While having a ton in common is always helpful, some of my most rewarding relationships are with women in different life places than I am. We can share experiences, say things without judgement, and learn from each other.
In short, I’m having a moment where I just can’t help but be bowled over by the amazing women and men in my life whom I am privileged enough to call friends. I’d love to know–what have you learned about friendship?
Wishing us all a week of great friends and amazing shoes! xo RA
