It’s my monthly dating horror stories, my attempt at being Carrie Bradshaw, and hopefully a bit of cathartic release for us all. If you’re in the mood to really suffer I recommend My ex’s Friend, Dumped Before an Event, and The One Who Asked For His Money Back. You can also search Ex Files in the search bar. A friend of mine let me know that he spent a day reading all of these back to back- and that it was funny and horrifying! Of course, all names have been changed to protect the innocent and the not-so-innocent. Be careful out there!
Dudes and Nudes
If you are a woman in any capacity online you’ve gotten pictures that you didn’t ask for, or want. Why men send these I have no clue! If she wants a picture, I promise she’ll tell you.
I’ve gotten pictures from men I don’t know, men I do know, men who have gotten very angry when I asked them not to send said nudes to me.
A friend of one of my exes was persistent in sending me a picture of him in bed- luckily everything was covered but the picture was awful. It looked like he was in some bad motel where people had been murdered in the 1970s-when I showed the picture to a friend of mine she commented that it was made more awful in that he thought I had style so he wanted to show me his style. Unsolicited pictures are bad, unsolicited pictures that make you look like a serial killer are BAD. Worse? He was sending this picture to every woman he knew. Worst? When confronted by me or others, and asked not to send these pictures, the dude would get defensive and threatening. He let me know that he did business with my ex and could find out my address, he threatened other women who complained about his unsolicited pictures that he could harm them.
And the pictures weren’t even good!
I had a friend who had a man who would send her an unsolicited nude each morning. She ignored him. Till he sent her a calendar he had printed of his nudes. To which she responded in laughter. Probably not the response he was hoping for!
Every woman you know has a story about a man who has sent her pictures she didn’t want. It can be horrifying to open messages and get things you didn’t ask for- and difficult to know how to respond.
I have a friend who rates the pictures she receives – from composition to lighting to all the things. The men who send her unsolicited pictures don’t seem to appreciate her unsolicited rating of them. I have a girlfriend who just blocks. One who researches and will forward the nudes to the sender’s mother or wife/girlfriend.
There is no right or wrong way to respond- I’m not a believer that you have to be nice! And until we have a way to make these unsolicited nudes stop, I’m all for whatever way works for you!
Wishing us all a week free of unsolicited nudes and amazing shoes! XO RA