The Ex Files: Ghosting

Investment Piece: Ex Files

It’s here! The time of the month where I live out my Carrie Bradshaw fantasies and write about love disasters. A nice balance to fashion? I like to think so.

Some of my “fave” (if that can be a thing) ex files: Tinder on an Airplane, The One Who Asked for his Money Back, and The One Who Got Married, and all of the other dating horror stories that can be found by searching “Ex Files”over on the search bar.

This month? Let’s chat Ghosting.

It sucks. And we’ve all done it. (If you’re reading this and you don’t know what ghosting is, bless you. It’s when someone stops responding or just disappears) Ghosting can also be a bit of a grey area. Is it ghosting if things just sizzle and you stop talking? Does it make it ok to ghost if you’ve already said no, repeatedly, and the other person just won’t take the no? I’m sure that there are great answers, even experts have opinions on ghosting. But going through it? It can still be awful. So I present, two tales of ghosting. And yes, one time there’s a chance that I’m the bad guy. He has the right to tell that story.

The Ghoster
There was once a nice guy that I met. We went to coffee a couple of times. Let’s call him Bob. Bob was sweet. And kind. And caring. A littler nervous, but that wasn’t a deal breaker. Bob was great. Bob was not for me. Even when he told me stories that should have been fascinating, I just wasn’t interested. And because Bob was lovely and kind, I let him know that I didn’t think we were a match for me. Bob said ok. Bob proceeded to text me two days later to ask me out. I said no. Then Bob went on vacation. I got texts every other day, and he asked me out twice. I said no, and restated that I didn’t think we should date. Bob got back from vacation. He asked me out again, I still haven’t responded to the text. I’m a Ghoster.

The Ghostee
For a few weeks, I was dating this great guy named Lee. Funny, charming, we got along like gang busters. We had fun at the movies, at dinner, just hanging out together. He would text me the funniest things, we seemed to really click; he would even send me pictures of what he was doing when we weren’t together. Then one day we were texting about our weeks. He asked me if I would love to get together and I said yes, even mentioned a movie I’d like to see. I never heard from him again. I was ghosted, and while it’s never good to be ghosted, this time I was disappointed as I thought that this guy might be fun.

It could be worse. I know gals who have been ghosted after years. And a guy who’s date ghosted during dinner (well, she left, is that the same thing??). What is our deal with ghosting? Can we really no longer have that conversation?

I’d love to know: what are your ghosting stories? Have you ever been the Ghoster?

Wishing us all a ghost free week and amazing shoes! XO RA

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Actress, avid shopper, and a lover of fashion. Hoping to make the world a better place one pair of shoes at a time.