Tomorrow is a holiday in the States, and while some are traveling or shopping sales (and you can shop sales along with me in both the LTK and ShopStyle Collective apps!), I’m doing something a bit different. I’m relaxing. I’m taking time off. I’m spending time with people I love. I’m refilling my cup. We’ll be back on Wednesday with new Fashion Stories. I hope that you have a great weekend and from travel to relaxing get exactly what you need!
Wishing us all a week of rest and amazing shoes!
XO RA
With this outfit I could tell you all sorts of intellectual things. Really play up the juxtapositions (which we know I love). And yet I’m just going to be honest:
-I know that black is a cliche, but I love it. It’s chic and hides a lot. Black is also more interesting than it gets credit for. The mix of knit, leather, and woven clutch- all different shades of black, all statements on their own, yet they all go together.
-Then I ironically love pairing black with white (or any lighter color). It’s like shadow and light- you need them both. Like yen and yang, it’s about the balance. Like the cutout with a long sleeve and midi dress length. Not quite mixing and matching, but pairing dark and light is a bit natural to me.
-Lately, I’ve loved pairing shoes that I normally wouldn’t reach for with my dresses. Aka sneaker or boots with more “formal” dresses. I love here that the kitten heel and details both balance and compliment the cutout, slit, and ruching of the dress.
-I have a love-hate relationship with cutouts. It feels like they are every where, which means they aren’t special -or impactful. I love that this waist cutout is subtle, but creates shadows and lights in flattering ways. The knit of the dress does create some balance, and it does make me laugh that for all of feelings about cutouts- I love this one.
-I love outfits that would be appropriate for so many things- from work to drinks. This outfit is one of them! (And yes, if your work is a bit more conservative in dress you could hide the cutout under a blazer!). I’ve worn this combo to coffee and meet-and-greets. It was comfy every time and I felt so chic
With all of that out of the way, I’m sure we could wax poetic about shadow and light. How we wear them, but even the times that we go through dark times in life that there’s always a better time coming. And those things are all true. But sometimes a great outfit is just a great outfit- and as much as we can love the way that light plays on it and the shadows we create- it’s just a great outfit.
This dress is incredibly affordable, versatile, and easy to pair- with everything from heels to flip flops. It makes great shadows and lets in a great bit of light.
Hoping your weekend is a great balance of both!
XO RA
Note: this post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!
Over the lockdown portion of the pandemic a thing I did to keep sane was start a “Cocktails and Caftans” series over on IG- essentially just that making cocktails while wearing amazing caftans. And one of the most special to me was when I made martinis (whilst wearing a great vintage kimono!) – mainly as one of my dearest friends was the one who taught me how. And this great friend? She turns 80! today! I just adore her, have the best time with her, and really appreciate all we learn from each other. She’s like a second mother but also a fantastic friend.
Connected- one of my best tips is to make friends with people not like you. Not your age, not your “class”, background, race, etc- the relationships are so so enriching.
As it’s my friend’s birthday, I wanted to honor her, so I’ve been thinking about -some-of the things I’ve learned and loved from her! And because I think of us as great friends, I’m sharing them with you!
Wear What You’re Comfortable In
I love fashion and I love playing dress up. But I also want to feel good in what I wear, and be comfortable. My friend is a huge fan of wearing outfits that are in your comfort zone- but fabulous. She’s a fan of pants and statement tops. I love skirts and dresses. When we go out (because we can’t always make our own martinis), we each wear what we love, and feel great in it. We don’t have to worry about our outfits, so we can concentrate on the important things-like each other.
Always have a Bottle Ready
Bubbles. Gin. Wine. My friend is always ready for company, for celebrations, for a cup of cheer. I don’t think the point is always to stock your bar, but to be open. I love that she (often) has more energy than me, and is willing to try a lot, even if it’s not in her comfort zone. Probably what keeps her young! And perhaps we should all celebrate with friends a bit more in her honor- I will be dancing with her this weekend-I hope you can find a similar fun thing to do!
Reading and Hand Written Notes Matter
My friend was an English Professor (so I’m sure there are times she hates my grammar), but one of the things I love about our friendship is that we share a love of reading- and trade book recommendations. We also chat movies and music, fashion and current events. I’ve also never been given more thoughtful gifts, or received such timely thank you notes when I gift her! These all may seem like little things, but they make a big difference.
My friend is one of those people that just make you feel great when they’re around. I’m so grateful for them in my life, and I can’t wait to celebrate them this weekend. I hope that you have these kinds of friends- to wear fantastic things with and raise toasts with. I’m so grateful you’re here, that we can do those things together- and know any time it’s needed I’m ready to make a drink and put on a party dress with you!
Is Valentine’s a day we dress to theme? I know there are date nights, and I’m always a fan of red for those!, I love Valentine’s socks (a bit niche, but true!), but I don’t remember the last time I was intentionally dressing for Valentine’s (no matter how much I was dressing for love!). While I may not be over the top in my Valentine’s (though I do in retrospect own a lot of clothing with hearts on them), I am a fan of themes, and especially of serving in love.
We (as in society) chat about things being “made with love”, and served with love- and I do love the image of love being one of those things that we can just sprinkle about. Even when my looks are edgy or “dark”, I like to think that they are out of love- because I really love my fashion and getting dressed. But what does that really looks like? Just being nice? Just wearing red? One of my favorite quotes is from Nina Simone: “ You have to learn to get up from the table when love is no longer being served.” (Note: that is much more difficult than it would appear) And I think one of the ways we identify “not love” is by identifying love- or when acts are loving or not loving. The easiest way I’m learning to do this is by being loving to myself. Making myself my favorite things, wearing things I feel good in, spending time with people (or cats- even if I have to force them into pictures with me), and even wearing red if it fits a theme.
Coffee (more than I probably should), walks, time with my cat are how I spend my mornings. It allows me to wake up slowly and go into my day with love. Throughout my day I wear things I love, move my body in ways I love. And sometimes I do it in all in red – but it seemed especially on theme this week, when we take a beat to celebrate love.
This robe is vintage (given in love by my momma), but I’ve found you similar.
I’m hoping that this is a week of love for you. To dress with love. Eat with love. Spend time with those you love. And everything is served with love.
XO RA
Note: This post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!
Certain outfits, or outfit combos, are very comfortable to me. No matter what they are- color, pattern, etc- I can go to those outfits and find something I love and something I feel comfortable in.
And I’m a fan of comfort. Really, if your closet is full of things that your feel comfortable in, outfits you always know will work- I’m a fan. (And in full disclosure, there are also hair styles and makeup I’m most comfortable with- which is why a lot of the time you’ll find me in a bun with red lips.)
The thing about comfort zones though? Nothing really grows there. We can get stuck in ruts, we may miss out, we push away things that might actually be great for us.
None of this outfit is really in my comfort zone. Patterned denim? I’ve been wary of it. But I love how this set is almost like a polka dot (one of my faves) with a vintage feel. And more than one youth complimented me on the set, which lets me know that I wasn’t wrong to think it was amazing. Matchy Matchy? I get nervous about it, always thinking that there is something more “fashion” or more of a contrast- turns out a set, and a belt and shoes that go together are enough. My hair is in transition (color, etc), and while my instinct is to pull it up, lately I’ve found products that are amazing for my hair- and am feeling a bit more comfortable wearing it down! Basically, at a glance, none of this outfit is in my comfort zone. But I love it. I felt good in it. And I can’t wait to wear it again.
If we’re only wearing things or outfits in our comfort zone, what amazing outfits are we leaving on the table?
This is not a plea to abandon all the things (or outfits) that make you comfortable. From gowns to lounge, I’m a fan of comfort, and outfits that feel like you. With this discussion I’m more interested in what outfits, fits, etc, that we’ve dismissed out of hand, thinking that they were not in our comfort zones, when in actuality, the outfits might be more us and comfortable than we knew. Yes, it’s a version of “if you don’t try, you’ll never know”; but it’s also a call to rethink our comfort zones. Are they really comfortable or just familiar? Are there items or outfits that we avoid that might really be great for us? And if so, how do we go about finding out in a comfortable way? (Because no one here thinks you should rush into soothing uncomfortable!)
This outfit, again, was one that was completely one that I didn’t think would be me. But it was. And I love, love wearing it. (Part of what swayed me was the product pics!) Perhaps there are times that straying outside of our comfort zones is actually comfortable. So, how do you tell when that is? When do you wear comfort and when do you experiment?
I would love to hear about it all! I’ve linked this set (note: I’m in an XS shirt and a size 2 pants- both are a bit oversized which I like), as well as versions of this belt and shoes, as well as the hair products I’m now swearing by!
XO RA
Note:This post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!
I’m not immune to any of ads that we all get on social media. I’ll admit that I kinda want to try everything that comes across my timeline- from health pills to face masks to bodysuits. Even the stool that helps you do a head stand? I kinda want that- and to be able to do all the workouts and the head stands! I see all the ads, and I have to say- there are some that have been so persuasive that I can’t resist. One such ad? The one for the Versed Resurfacing Mask!
While, I’m a fan of most face masks (and attempt to do them regularly), this Versed mask is a bit magical. It’s simple to use (truly, just put it on and let the mask work, then wipe it off!) and leaves my skin glowing, hydrated- and after regular use, I’m noticing a difference in my dark spots. I typically use it while I brush my teeth, etc, or while in a bath- at least 1-2 times a week.
Weirdly, that’s almost exactly what the ad promised me. And yet, I have been so happily surprised that this mask worked. Is it because we’re (I mean I’m) wary of ads? Even when the product advertised is one we (again, me!) really thinks we may want? Then how do we decide which ads to take a chance on- aka let the ad make us buy- and which ads to ignore?
This Versed mask was a low stake investment -under $20- so while an ad made me buy it, I felt as if it was something that I might also be tempted by at the store (Versed is carried online and at Target and Ulta- and yes, I’ve linked this exact mask and other Versed products I’m loving below!). So, what swayed me was the ad, and the brand recognition (I had seen Versed at Target and tried one of their serums before), and the fact that I wasn’t going to sink too much money into it. After using the Versed Resurfacing mask- I have to say, I don’t regret letting the ad make me buy it at all.
So, the next time an ad makes me want to buy something? I don’t know. Of course, it could depend on a lot- price, brand, need, etc. But I have to say, having a not bad experience with a product that I saw a social media ad for has me feeling a bit optimistic. Have you ever bought anything from a social media ad? What was your experience?
Also- the opinions here are completely my own, the Versed mask was not gifted, and I really did buy the mask from an ad! I’ve listed it here for you and I can’t wait to hear your thoughts on it!
XO RA
note: This post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!
December has the reputation for being the “party” month- and with all the holidays in December, that could be true. However, I argue that February is a party month all it’s own that rivals December. Maybe it’s because we’re firmly in the new year, and spring is coming and we’re ready to get out of the house. Maybe because it’s a short month, with more than one holiday, that it feels as if our weekends book up (or at least mine are!). Maybe it’s because with Valentine’s there are more date nights, Galentine parties, and just nights out in general. So, there’s a chance that you pull out your party looks from the winter holidays (or you buy new! I’m routinely posting some of my February looks from date night to Valentine parties over on LTK and ShopStyle Apps!) and there’s a chance that those looks get a second life.
Full confession? This velvet number- I love the retro feel of it and the glove detail- was a dress that I wore (at home) for NYE. Ironic that I’m changing my styling of the same dress for Valentine’s (aka a party of two)? Yes, I’ll probably still be on the couch, but this time, I’m acknowledging that I probably won’t be in heels at all -I’ll embrace being barefoot. And I’ll be doing all my nails to match the nails on the dress! While I LOVE having my hair up, for a party of two, I’m thinking of wearing it down and just letting it fall. (And if it ends up in a bun at the end of the night, then so be it!) Simple makeup, but a great perfume.
Not a complete 180, but just enough of a difference to make a party dress feel brand new, for a different kind of party.
This is also where I tell you that I love parties at home- especially parties for two. You get to eat what you like, unlimited refills, no lines, no surcharges. And your party dress can also turn into party pjs if you like! I LOVE dressing up, breathing new life into party dresses I’ve worn before- and I love being able to change it on the fly at home. The coming weeks may have more than one party for two, or girls night, or self love night. I hope that you wear something that makes you feel like a celebration. And I’m hoping whoever you’re with appreciates it too!
I’ve linked this exact outfit for you below! If you style it, I would love to see! And again, follow me on apps for more February party looks!
XO RA
Note: This post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!
My area is recovering from an ice storm this weekend; this past week we were under freezing for over 48 hours, and there was ice everywhere. Trees, grass, roads, etc. We were super lucky- no damage (though I did spend a lot of Saturday cleaning up tree limbs that fell due to the weight of ice!), no loss of power, just a few days staying snuggly inside. Which was great in some ways! Though to my dismay, snow (or ice) days as an adult aren’t the free-for-alls that they are as kids. Not saying that I don’t love my job, but I wouldn’t say no to a few days completely work and responsibility free!
What a few days of a freeze did do is leave me with time to think (I really didn’t leave the house for about 4 days!). I spent a lot of time thinking about how grateful I am, for even basics like heat and running water. And I spent a lot of time thinking about what I want- from spring fashion to how I want my days to look. Also, I spent some time thinking about ice/snow days- not necessarily the ones I had, but the ones of fantasy, the ones that are full of fun, reading by the fire, hot chocolate, and a sense of freedom.
Again, I cannot tell you how much I love my job, but I can also tell you that I need downtime as well. We live in a world, a culture, that leads us to believe that we are only “good” or worthwhile if we’re busy and productive . A lesson that I keep learning is that do be productive, I need rest. That rest is productive. When we were freezing, everything shut down, I still felt as if I needed to stick to my do-to list. And to be fair, there were deadlines that I needed to meet. Yet, I cannot tell you how much I wanted to give into the “snow” days of my youth- just forget about everything and have a good time. I’ve been wondering how we balance all that we want and need to do, and our rest and celebrating a bit of freedom. How do you do it?
In recognition of how I felt about it freezing, I’m actively attempting to schedule myself at least one day a week without anything to do. Maybe I won’t be by a fire or sipping chocolate, but I can give myself a day off. And with that day off, perhaps get more done? Besides, when was the last time we left everything behind and just enjoyed the day? Wouldn’t that be so good for us?
Wishing us all a week of above freezing temps but rest- and of course, amazing shoes! XO RA
I have a complicated relationship with the cold. Mainly, I have no idea how to deal with it. Being raised in a warmer climate, and then living most of my adult life in a really mild climate hasn’t led me to have much winter weather experience. A few years ago, for the first time in my life, I experienced snow that didn’t melt right away. And I was floored. The thing is, maybe as I don’t get a lot of it, I’m fascinated by snow. I think it’s magical, and I ask for it every Christmas. Of course, I live in places where we completely shut down when it gets too cold, snow gets to be a special thing.
While I have a thing for snow- I have no idea what to wear for it. Every year I think ski clothes, big jackets, etc are so chic. I dream of cold weather outfits. And then, when the temps drop, I wear nothing but sweats, usually more than one at a time. As I’ve never had to, I’m not sure how to dress for both the cold (and I also get COLD in the cold) and chicly.
One of my goals this year, when the temps eventually dropped, was to somehow be both warm and chic. And loves- I think I’m getting the hang of it. Here I’m wearing long Johns (because you can’t be chic if you’re cold) under a puffer skirt (they’re a thing. This one is from an independent brand that sadly shut down, but besides being quilted, it’s lined and so warm!), with a puffer jacket, and my Uggs (they are a classic for a reason!). I was able to handle being outside (for a while! Then I ran back into a heating pad and hot tea!), and while I may be biased, I felt chic.
And being warm and chic once is making me rethink all my winter clothes, though I’m also looking forward to it warming up again!
How do you deal with the cold? And what do you wear? Do you feel any pressure to look chic while combatting the cold? If you’re looking to recreate this look, I’ve linked similar pieces for you below I do think it’s going to be my go-to for when it’s cold but I need to be a little fashionable!
XO RA
Note this post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you,I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!
I’ve always have had an interesting relationship with Valentine’s Day. Not that I don’t love love- and want it celebrated- but, as much as my life is public, and I’m a trained performer, I’ve not always liked how performative Valentine’s can feel. As in, yes buy me flowers but buy me flowers because you want to, not so I’ll post them.
However, while there were years that I wasn’t the biggest fan of Valentine’s, that’s slowly changing. Maybe it’s Galentine’s and celebrating with friends, maybe it’s because after being at home, any and every excuse to celebrate love, or maybe it’s because I also get into self love (aka buy myself flowers and usually new shoes). Whatever it is, Valentine’s is a fun holiday, and I’m all for us having fun. And getting presents.
It may seem weird that I’m doing a gift guide, as I also usually find gift guides lacking, as in my opinion, the best gifts are the most personal. However, taking the viewpoint that this is a fun holiday to be celebrated, I’ve gone on and rounded up some of my favorites of the “usual” gifts- jewelry, bags, heart themed things, etc -though note, these are mainly for you or the women in your life. The men in your life? Ask them what they want (though some men in my life really love flowers!)
Beyond these options, I think it’s a great time to buy yourself a little something -from flowers to that thing on your wishlist- but I also love these bags, shoes, lingerie and necklaces! I hope that you find something you love or something someone you love would love! Without further ado, these are my gifts I’m loving for Valentine’s Day!
Note: This post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!
Gift of Scent
While I’ve a go-to scent for years (Allure by Chanel), lately I’ve been loving experimenting with other scents. There are so many great deals on mini perfumes (so you can give a lot) or gift sets that are incredibly special. Either would make great Valentine’s gifts!
shop my scent picks here
Heart Print
I think that you have to be picky about your heart items. Some of them are a little too saccharine for me, while others are so chic. Yet, I also love dressing to a theme. These are some of my favorite heart socks, sweaters, bags, and shoes! From simple red to patterns, I love them all.
Shop these here and here
Gift of Bling
You can never, ever go wrong with diamonds. And from necklaces to earrings, these are some of my favorites that I know you and yours will love.
For You
From sleep sets to pretty underthings, you’ll love these laces and satins. And if you choose to share these gifts, I’m sure they’ll love them too!
Shop these gifts for you here
What are you doing for Valentine’s? And are you gifting anything special to anyone -including you?
I can’t wait to hear about it all!
XO RA
