Certain outfits, or outfit combos, are very comfortable to me. No matter what they are- color, pattern, etc- I can go to those outfits and find something I love and something I feel comfortable in.
And I’m a fan of comfort. Really, if your closet is full of things that your feel comfortable in, outfits you always know will work- I’m a fan. (And in full disclosure, there are also hair styles and makeup I’m most comfortable with- which is why a lot of the time you’ll find me in a bun with red lips.)
The thing about comfort zones though? Nothing really grows there. We can get stuck in ruts, we may miss out, we push away things that might actually be great for us.
None of this outfit is really in my comfort zone. Patterned denim? I’ve been wary of it. But I love how this set is almost like a polka dot (one of my faves) with a vintage feel. And more than one youth complimented me on the set, which lets me know that I wasn’t wrong to think it was amazing. Matchy Matchy? I get nervous about it, always thinking that there is something more “fashion” or more of a contrast- turns out a set, and a belt and shoes that go together are enough. My hair is in transition (color, etc), and while my instinct is to pull it up, lately I’ve found products that are amazing for my hair- and am feeling a bit more comfortable wearing it down! Basically, at a glance, none of this outfit is in my comfort zone. But I love it. I felt good in it. And I can’t wait to wear it again.
If we’re only wearing things or outfits in our comfort zone, what amazing outfits are we leaving on the table?
This is not a plea to abandon all the things (or outfits) that make you comfortable. From gowns to lounge, I’m a fan of comfort, and outfits that feel like you. With this discussion I’m more interested in what outfits, fits, etc, that we’ve dismissed out of hand, thinking that they were not in our comfort zones, when in actuality, the outfits might be more us and comfortable than we knew. Yes, it’s a version of “if you don’t try, you’ll never know”; but it’s also a call to rethink our comfort zones. Are they really comfortable or just familiar? Are there items or outfits that we avoid that might really be great for us? And if so, how do we go about finding out in a comfortable way? (Because no one here thinks you should rush into soothing uncomfortable!)
This outfit, again, was one that was completely one that I didn’t think would be me. But it was. And I love, love wearing it. (Part of what swayed me was the product pics!) Perhaps there are times that straying outside of our comfort zones is actually comfortable. So, how do you tell when that is? When do you wear comfort and when do you experiment?
I would love to hear about it all! I’ve linked this set (note: I’m in an XS shirt and a size 2 pants- both are a bit oversized which I like), as well as versions of this belt and shoes, as well as the hair products I’m now swearing by!
XO RA
Note:This post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!
I’m not immune to any of ads that we all get on social media. I’ll admit that I kinda want to try everything that comes across my timeline- from health pills to face masks to bodysuits. Even the stool that helps you do a head stand? I kinda want that- and to be able to do all the workouts and the head stands! I see all the ads, and I have to say- there are some that have been so persuasive that I can’t resist. One such ad? The one for the Versed Resurfacing Mask!
While, I’m a fan of most face masks (and attempt to do them regularly), this Versed mask is a bit magical. It’s simple to use (truly, just put it on and let the mask work, then wipe it off!) and leaves my skin glowing, hydrated- and after regular use, I’m noticing a difference in my dark spots. I typically use it while I brush my teeth, etc, or while in a bath- at least 1-2 times a week.
Weirdly, that’s almost exactly what the ad promised me. And yet, I have been so happily surprised that this mask worked. Is it because we’re (I mean I’m) wary of ads? Even when the product advertised is one we (again, me!) really thinks we may want? Then how do we decide which ads to take a chance on- aka let the ad make us buy- and which ads to ignore?
This Versed mask was a low stake investment -under $20- so while an ad made me buy it, I felt as if it was something that I might also be tempted by at the store (Versed is carried online and at Target and Ulta- and yes, I’ve linked this exact mask and other Versed products I’m loving below!). So, what swayed me was the ad, and the brand recognition (I had seen Versed at Target and tried one of their serums before), and the fact that I wasn’t going to sink too much money into it. After using the Versed Resurfacing mask- I have to say, I don’t regret letting the ad make me buy it at all.
So, the next time an ad makes me want to buy something? I don’t know. Of course, it could depend on a lot- price, brand, need, etc. But I have to say, having a not bad experience with a product that I saw a social media ad for has me feeling a bit optimistic. Have you ever bought anything from a social media ad? What was your experience?
Also- the opinions here are completely my own, the Versed mask was not gifted, and I really did buy the mask from an ad! I’ve listed it here for you and I can’t wait to hear your thoughts on it!
XO RA
note: This post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!
December has the reputation for being the “party” month- and with all the holidays in December, that could be true. However, I argue that February is a party month all it’s own that rivals December. Maybe it’s because we’re firmly in the new year, and spring is coming and we’re ready to get out of the house. Maybe because it’s a short month, with more than one holiday, that it feels as if our weekends book up (or at least mine are!). Maybe it’s because with Valentine’s there are more date nights, Galentine parties, and just nights out in general. So, there’s a chance that you pull out your party looks from the winter holidays (or you buy new! I’m routinely posting some of my February looks from date night to Valentine parties over on LTK and ShopStyle Apps!) and there’s a chance that those looks get a second life.
Full confession? This velvet number- I love the retro feel of it and the glove detail- was a dress that I wore (at home) for NYE. Ironic that I’m changing my styling of the same dress for Valentine’s (aka a party of two)? Yes, I’ll probably still be on the couch, but this time, I’m acknowledging that I probably won’t be in heels at all -I’ll embrace being barefoot. And I’ll be doing all my nails to match the nails on the dress! While I LOVE having my hair up, for a party of two, I’m thinking of wearing it down and just letting it fall. (And if it ends up in a bun at the end of the night, then so be it!) Simple makeup, but a great perfume.
Not a complete 180, but just enough of a difference to make a party dress feel brand new, for a different kind of party.
This is also where I tell you that I love parties at home- especially parties for two. You get to eat what you like, unlimited refills, no lines, no surcharges. And your party dress can also turn into party pjs if you like! I LOVE dressing up, breathing new life into party dresses I’ve worn before- and I love being able to change it on the fly at home. The coming weeks may have more than one party for two, or girls night, or self love night. I hope that you wear something that makes you feel like a celebration. And I’m hoping whoever you’re with appreciates it too!
I’ve linked this exact outfit for you below! If you style it, I would love to see! And again, follow me on apps for more February party looks!
XO RA
Note: This post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!
I have a complicated relationship with the cold. Mainly, I have no idea how to deal with it. Being raised in a warmer climate, and then living most of my adult life in a really mild climate hasn’t led me to have much winter weather experience. A few years ago, for the first time in my life, I experienced snow that didn’t melt right away. And I was floored. The thing is, maybe as I don’t get a lot of it, I’m fascinated by snow. I think it’s magical, and I ask for it every Christmas. Of course, I live in places where we completely shut down when it gets too cold, snow gets to be a special thing.
While I have a thing for snow- I have no idea what to wear for it. Every year I think ski clothes, big jackets, etc are so chic. I dream of cold weather outfits. And then, when the temps drop, I wear nothing but sweats, usually more than one at a time. As I’ve never had to, I’m not sure how to dress for both the cold (and I also get COLD in the cold) and chicly.
One of my goals this year, when the temps eventually dropped, was to somehow be both warm and chic. And loves- I think I’m getting the hang of it. Here I’m wearing long Johns (because you can’t be chic if you’re cold) under a puffer skirt (they’re a thing. This one is from an independent brand that sadly shut down, but besides being quilted, it’s lined and so warm!), with a puffer jacket, and my Uggs (they are a classic for a reason!). I was able to handle being outside (for a while! Then I ran back into a heating pad and hot tea!), and while I may be biased, I felt chic.
And being warm and chic once is making me rethink all my winter clothes, though I’m also looking forward to it warming up again!
How do you deal with the cold? And what do you wear? Do you feel any pressure to look chic while combatting the cold? If you’re looking to recreate this look, I’ve linked similar pieces for you below I do think it’s going to be my go-to for when it’s cold but I need to be a little fashionable!
XO RA
Note this post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you,I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!
I’ve always have had an interesting relationship with Valentine’s Day. Not that I don’t love love- and want it celebrated- but, as much as my life is public, and I’m a trained performer, I’ve not always liked how performative Valentine’s can feel. As in, yes buy me flowers but buy me flowers because you want to, not so I’ll post them.
However, while there were years that I wasn’t the biggest fan of Valentine’s, that’s slowly changing. Maybe it’s Galentine’s and celebrating with friends, maybe it’s because after being at home, any and every excuse to celebrate love, or maybe it’s because I also get into self love (aka buy myself flowers and usually new shoes). Whatever it is, Valentine’s is a fun holiday, and I’m all for us having fun. And getting presents.
It may seem weird that I’m doing a gift guide, as I also usually find gift guides lacking, as in my opinion, the best gifts are the most personal. However, taking the viewpoint that this is a fun holiday to be celebrated, I’ve gone on and rounded up some of my favorites of the “usual” gifts- jewelry, bags, heart themed things, etc -though note, these are mainly for you or the women in your life. The men in your life? Ask them what they want (though some men in my life really love flowers!)
Beyond these options, I think it’s a great time to buy yourself a little something -from flowers to that thing on your wishlist- but I also love these bags, shoes, lingerie and necklaces! I hope that you find something you love or something someone you love would love! Without further ado, these are my gifts I’m loving for Valentine’s Day!
Note: This post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!
Gift of Scent
While I’ve a go-to scent for years (Allure by Chanel), lately I’ve been loving experimenting with other scents. There are so many great deals on mini perfumes (so you can give a lot) or gift sets that are incredibly special. Either would make great Valentine’s gifts!
shop my scent picks here
Heart Print
I think that you have to be picky about your heart items. Some of them are a little too saccharine for me, while others are so chic. Yet, I also love dressing to a theme. These are some of my favorite heart socks, sweaters, bags, and shoes! From simple red to patterns, I love them all.
Shop these here and here
Gift of Bling
You can never, ever go wrong with diamonds. And from necklaces to earrings, these are some of my favorites that I know you and yours will love.
For You
From sleep sets to pretty underthings, you’ll love these laces and satins. And if you choose to share these gifts, I’m sure they’ll love them too!
Shop these gifts for you here
What are you doing for Valentine’s? And are you gifting anything special to anyone -including you?
I can’t wait to hear about it all!
XO RA
I’m not great at in betweens (I may have mentioned that once or twice see here, here, and here for starters). But there are times when in-between- or just jeans (aka what I call not a party dress, because truly, a party dress of some sort is always my go-to) However, there are times when just jeans are such a treat, especially when the outfit straddles the line between casual and statement.
Just like these slight flares with this ever so sheer shirt and the most incredible flatform shoes (see details here, and while I bought these Gucci years ago, I know that this style is avail on eBay and Vestaire -and I’m sure other resell sites about!) Just the slightest bit of a statement, just this side of casual.
Maybe I am getting good at this whole just jeans thing or in betweens.
My secret to wearing just jeans? Dress them to the occasion. Aka when I had to go to a meeting (that yes, could have been an email) I needed to dress up just a tad so I would feel great about going (and of course if you don’t need to dress up to bribe yourself to go anywhere jeans look just as great with a t-shirt or sweatshirt, but I’m sure you knew that! Jeans are also easy to pair with everything from slippers to heels but I’m sure you knew that too!) I had to wear a shirt and shoes that made it feel like an occasion. (side note: with sheer or sheerish shirts you have options- play sheer up with black underthings or play sheer down with nude or slips underthings. Whatever you’re most comfortable with or whatever your occasion calls for!)
While there have been times when I didn’t know how to style or deal with just jeans, as I’m getting older-or more comfortable in my skin- the more comfortable I am in just jeans. And of course that also means that you need jeans that fit you insanely well. For me, that means a high waist (I am stupid high waisted), and a bit of stretch never hurt no body, a slight flare seems to be in right now- but any jean that feels good on you is good. Any top- from sheer to tee to sweatshirt- that you feel good is in good.
I don’t know that I believe in just jeans. Every outfit tells a story, and the jean outfit we wear to meetings to errands to brunch to occasions are different, special, and yours. For every just jeans outfit I hope that you find something that helps you tell a story that is anything but just (because none of our stories are just something!)
What do you wear with jeans? And do you ever think there’s a “just jeans”?
I’ve linked these exact jeans (on sale) and top (under $50!) for you below. These shoes are from seasons ago, and again you can find them resale (if you want help with that please reach out!) but I’ve also linked similar ones below!
xo RA Note: This post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them, thank you for your support!
Do you ever feel as if you’re different people with different groups? Or friends? Or family? As if you have various, or many, faces, that you show to different people in your life? I do. With certain friends I’m the leader, with strong opinions, and from boundaries. With other friends I’m a follower, willing to go along. Sometimes I’m super loud and funny. There are people in my life who think I never talk at all. And to some people, with whom I feel super safe, I never shut up.
We all have many faces. Or sides to us. And depending on who you’re with, various sides of you may come out. Perhaps that’s why I’ve always loved reading (there was a time when I read a book a day and while my adult life has not indulged that habit, I still love to get lost in other worlds), and the idea that within the pages of any book you can be anyone and go anywhere. Or perhaps, a better way to say it is that we all have many faces, and sometimes we wear them.
And yes. This dress is full of a LOT. I won’t dip my foot into any of the Monroe legacy- although to say I think she was such a talent and we were worse off to not see her do more- but I know she’s an icon. And had many faces. So a dress with her face, in a place with so many stories- what a place to wear it! Note: this dress is vintage Loewe, and I’ve linked both Loewe dresses and dresses with faces on them for you below!
I’m a firm believer that our fashion is a way to tell our stories. I’m also aware that all of us have many faces, even with those we love. I’m not sure that I have any advice on how to combine all of your faces, or what to wear to do that. But, I do think that all of our faces, and outfits, deserve a place in our lives.
Also- what are you reading right now?
Shopping options linked below. If you have insight or something to say about your many faces I would love to hear them!
XO RA
Note: this post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!
This post is part fashion stories- because these gloves were never mine. They happened to be in the pocket of a trench coat that my grandma left me. Yet, they fit perfectly. I always get compliments. These Isotoners are both a reminder of my Grandmother’s love, and a chic glove.
And yes, these are Isotoners. Which also makes this part a Now and Then (where we chat about fashion pieces you can get both new and vintage)- and Isotoners fit the bill! There are so many Isotners (even new in box!) that you can buy vintage. And there are new Isotoners you can buy now. Luckily, as of yet, prices haven’t gone up – so both vintage and new are incredible investments.
I have a soft spot for these gloves, and Isotoners, in general. Yes, they remind me of my grandma. But they also remind me of childhood, and what I thought was chic and grown up at the time. (I don’t think I was wrong.) They fit so well, keep me warm without being bulky, and again- I get compliments every time I pull them out. Because it felt as if they were part of the package with my grandma’s trench, I haven’t been able to take them out, so I only wear these gloves when I wear my Grandma’s trench, but that makes them a bit more special.
In fact, I’ve been thinking of buying myself (and my loved ones) new Isotoners, not only to remember my Grandma, but because they are just so chic!
I’ve linked both vintage and new Isotoners below for you- I hope that they have good memories and that they bring a lot of compliments and chic tones to your winter outfits!
XO RA
Note This post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!
Maybe it’s the time of year, but I’m feeling a bit uninspired and my go-to solution is to buy new things. From shoes to bags to dresses, pants, and more. My going theory is that new will inspire me, make getting dressed more fun, and get me out of the winter blahs. Yet. I know that new isn’t always the answer- and that really, my closet(s) full of clothes have so much potential in them. The trick is getting me to use what I have, instead of reaching for the new. Looking for help and inspiration in making new with clothes I already have, I loved this Harper’s Bazaar article by Megan Doyle, about getting the revamp feeling without buying anything! While some of these practices aren’t for me, I love that the heart of the piece focuses on what stories we want to tell with our fashion, and finding those in our closet.
While I’ve reprinted the article below, you can read it here as well.
I would love to know- how do you deal with the urge to buy a ton new at this time of year?
XO RA
How to revamp your wardrobe without buying anything new
Stuck in a rut? A sustainable fashion stylist could help you rediscover your personal style
BY MEGAN DOYLE
7 OCT 2022
If you ever stare into a packed wardrobe and think “I’ve got nothing to wear!” you’re not alone. According to research on hundreds of wardrobes by sustainable fashion brand Pareto, we only wear 20 per cent of our wardrobes 80 per cent of the time. If you’re in a style rut, the answer doesn’t have to be a shopping spree. Instead, many women are turning to sustainable stylists to help them rediscover their personal style using what they already have in their wardrobes.
There are plenty of reasons that we end up with a wardrobe full of the “wrong” clothes, from relentless advertising on social media to rapid trend cycles that keep us constantly buying new clothes, regardless of whether they fit our style.
“In this age of information, it’s very hard to decipher what thoughts are truly our own, never mind our style, so it’s more important than ever that women go on a journey to discover what optimises their body, creativity and soul,” says Kerry Wilde, a UK-based sustainable fashion stylist and creator of the Embodied Soul Style Method.
Sustainable stylists offer a range of services to help their clients to discover the hidden potential of their wardrobes, like one-on-one sessions, group workshops, online courses, Youtube tutorials, questionnaires and more.
“I am interested in how to decouple your personal style from consumption, because we’re so hardwired for it,” says Alyssa Beltempo, a Canadian sustainable stylist. “Fashion is something that helps us both as individuals to express ourselves, but it also helps us feel like we belong. Our style evolves all the time, but I think it takes a bit of work, introspection, and knowing who you are. There are a lot of reflective pieces to it, like who do you want to be?”
People often turn to styling during a transitional phase of their life. Perhaps they’ve had a baby, are starting or changing their career, or going through a break up. “They want to feel like themselves,” explains Sam Weir, who runs her sustainable styling company called Lotte V.1 in New York. “It’s fun to be part of the process of them developing their career, their relationships, and making sure their clothing matches the image that they’re building towards.”
To uncover or rediscover your personal style, our stylists suggest coming up with a list of words to describe what you’re looking for. Don’t just think about aesthetics, but also the feeling you want to get from your clothes. “It’s really about figuring out who you are, who you want to present to the world, and then you can create a picture of your personal style,” says Beltempo. “Forget about camouflaging your mid-section — do you want to highlight your personality? Your smile? Your legs? Start from there,” she says.
On the rare occasion the stylists want their client to buy something, it’s because of that piece’s potential to unlock far more outfit options in their wardrobe.
“I’m not against shopping completely, I’m against overconsumption and a lack of thought when shopping,” says Weir. She sources the pieces for clients, always opting for secondhand clothing, and shares a care guide with clients too. “It’s not just about styling, we have to make sure all these pieces are taken care of so you can continue to wear them. These are forever pieces and I want them to take care of it.”
In some ways, a styling session can feel like therapy. “My services are about inspiring women to better understand their own unique language of style, embracing who they are now, healing body shame, shedding what no longer works, releasing old identities and returning to a style that evokes truth and authenticity,” says Wilde. “I think our relationship with clothing is deeper than we see on the surface and so grabbing a journal and beginning the process of unpacking what’s hidden beneath can be a cathartic way to tap into ‘who you think you are’ and what’s relevant for you now, here, today.”
Rarely do our sustainable stylists encourage clients to throw away clothing, adding to the mountains of textile waste already polluting the world. “The only reason I would encourage someone to get rid of something is the fit, if we can’t make sense of this for your body, that’s when it should be moved out of your wardrobe,” says Weir. She recommends gifting or selling before donating your unloved items to reduce the pressure on charities. “There are so many creative ways we can use these clothes before we donate.”
Hiring a sustainable stylist is an investment that isn’t always accessible, so if you’re not ready to take the plunge, why not download a wardrobe organising app like OpenWardrobe or Whering, which digitises your clothes and uses an algorithm to formulate outfit ideas. Whatever way you do it, taking stock of your style is an ongoing practice that will serve you in every stage of life.
“Taking time to re-wire our personal style and therefore buying decisions is well worth the investment as it reduces the consequences of an over-cluttered wardrobe bulging with unwanted clothes,” says Wilde. “If you learn how to move your wardrobe around and make it work more for you, the results can be transformational.”
Some will tell you that today is the “actual” start of the new year, some will tell you that it’s a great day for luck, and some will tell you that it’s a great day to eat well. I’m going to tell you that I wish you an incredibly lucky and prosperous Year of the Water Rabbit (you can read more about the year of the rabbit here, and more about Lunar New Year here). While not a part of my traditions growing up, as an adult, this celebration is a tradition I love to respectfully celebrate- aka I wear red, appreciate the day, and usually buy myself something fun as it can’t hurt if it’s lucky, right?
With that being said. It’s not my place to wade into the discourse about Lunar New Year, or tell you how to celebrate. In fact, these was one of those topics that I was a little hesitant about posting as I know it’s not mine, and never want to step on toes. Or sound like an insensitive “influencer” who only cares about pretty packaging. If this is a holiday that you grew up celebrating, I would love to hear more about how you did so? What did you do, eat, wear, and wear there any special traditions that you loved? What do you do to mark Lunar New Year now?
While I dabble in astrology, the Lunar Year chart is not my specialty- though I know I’m an Earth Sheep. From my understanding, the year of the Water Rabbit is supposed to be lucky, and bring prosperity to us. I’m crossing my fingers for us all. As I mentioned, today is a day I usually buy myself a little lucky “charm” for the new year. I’m partial to red lipstick- for the color, and I’m always charmed by the Lunar New Year Packaging (cliche but true). However, there are all sorts of Lunar New Year charms- from rabbit shoes to bags to silks and knits. While I am partial to skincare, there’s something for us all. I’ve linked all of my faves for you below!
Whatever this day means to you, I hope that it is a good day. That the year brings us all luck, abundance, and all the things we love. Happy New Year!
Wishing us all a week of luck and amazing shoes! XO RA
Note: This post does contain affiliate links. While that may not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!
Absolutely in love with the Tory Burch Lunar New Year Line:
And you can shop all my faves from skincare to more here