Category: Sunday Chronicles

Sunday Chronicles: Back to Nature

a woman with brown and blonde hair, closeup

I’m trusting that you know me well enough by now to know that when I say back to nature, I’m not talking about camping. To put it in a line from one of my favorite movies, Troop Beverly Hills, my idea of roughing it is 10 people having to share a bathroom. (Though I do love nature!) The nature I’m getting back to? My natural hair color. Which you may have noticed. It’s a process- there are days I hate it, days I’m giving up and wanting to highlight the front or tone it a bit darker. But most of all, going back to nature (for me) is a journey about getting back to myself and then deciding where to go (at lest when it comes to my hair.

This is not the first time I’ve written about my hair, see here, here, and even here when I first wrote about going darker after I went platinum. (And being platinum was fun for a while! Then I felt that it make me look older and then my hair started to break- part of the reason I’m avoiding dye right now!) There may not be a lot of new thoughts in this essay about my hair color; but being in the processing of actively choosing to let my hair be, to let it go through the growth- even when I worry about the color or want it to hurry up- is forcing me to think about I approach a lot of change in my life.

a woman with a bun and red lipstick taking a selfie in a car

Mostly that I want change to be quick and painless. And change often has to take its time. I want my hair to be healthy, before I make a move on color I want to see what I’m working with- which all means that I have to let it grow. My hair can look still blonde to brown to sometimes red, depending on the light. My natural highlights come and go (or it feels that way), and for having naturally dark blonde hair (or at least at one point!), I really thought that the growing out would be seamless and blend easily. Sometimes it feels like that’s happening. And then, there are are days when I can see what feels like a hard line of opposing color and my instinct is to fix it, and urges to chuck it all and go in for an instant change. Yet, I know that long term those changes might not be what I want or need and if I want my end goal of healthy, beautiful hair (Even if I end up dying it once I grow it out) that I have to let it go back to nature.

There’s a good chance that this hair journey could be applied to many seasons in our live. To get what we want we have to grow through some things, be a bit uncomfortable, and trust that we look ok in the meantime. Does the end justify the means? I’m crossing my fingers so! But I am trusting that- and of course will call a professional if it doesn’t quite work out the way I want. I’m having to breathe through this change a lot (and maybe kick myself for being in the thick of it in the most hectic part of the year- but is there any good time for change?), but it’s also teaching me to breathe through a lot- and trust that my end will be worth it.

Have you ever grown out your hair color? Tips? Any way that you can soothe yourself through change?

Wishing us all a week of seamless transitions and amazing shoes! XO RA

Sunday Chronicles: Ghost Tour

a woman with cat eye makeup and skeleton earrings

A few weeks ago I mentioned that this year, and specifically this holiday season I wanted to be present and enjoy the season and the holiday we’re in- aka Halloween. You can read more about my thoughts here. Keeping true to my word, and wanting to enjoy Halloween and not skip to Christmas season, when a family friend suggested that we book a Ghost Tour and stay in a (allegedly) haunted hotel- I said yes. Even though I sometimes (often times) have to watch anything scary through my fingers or blanket or my sweatshirt.

Because it’s not like they would let us die, right?

a skeleton in a phone booth and the image of a woman in the glass

We didn’t die. (Spoiler alert! And if you’re curious or local we stayed at the Menger and went on a Sisters Grimm tour. Highly recommend both!) What we did do is have a lot of fun, learn quite a bit of history, and get into the spirit of the season.

a man dressed as a rough rider from 1890 in the lobby of a hotel

Our tour guide was not only charming- he dressed in costume, which you know I love- he was incredibly knowledgeable about every space we went into, every street we went on, and local history. While there were ghost tales that were a bit creepy, most of them were truly fascinating! And even had me looking for clues!

a window with bars on it. You may be able to see a ghost in it!

For Example, in the above picture you may be able to see the ghost of a woman in the window. I didn’t- though I did see something over a bed in the hotel I think that was just my over-active imagination!

The tour was so fun and the hotel was fantastic (not to mention the jewelry store in the hotel where I happed to find MANY things that were so gorgeous, the only scary thing was how I could afford them all!) Most of all, this ghost tour was such a joy in that we got to walk (and ride) part of a city that I hadn’t seen before, I got to learn a lot (like ask me about certain killings in San Antonio), and it was the perfect way to get into the Spooky spirit that isn’t just watching scary movies (aka Hocus Pocus) on my couch!

I also got to dress to theme, which we know I love!

a woman in a black leather dress in a bathroom mirror

I can’t believe that Halloween is basically a week away (I have so many cute outfits to wear! And I want to watch so many movies!) How are you getting in the spirit of Halloween? Are you jumping ahead to the Winter Holidays? I would love to hear all about it!

Wishing us all a week of friendly ghosts and amazing shoes!
XO RA

Sunday Chronicles: Perfectionism and Mantras

Investment Piece: Sunday Chronicles

I did some more flashing back this week and came across one of the first Sunday Chronicles I wrote. It’s a subject I keep going back to: perfectionism, and how I deal with it. The story of my life, in other words. The reminder that some battles are constant both encouraged me and scares me. Spin class is one of the ways that I’ve always dealt with it–but right now I’m still mainly working out at home (which isn’t bad!), but it means I’m having to encourage myself. And that looks different. Weirdly, I’m saying all these things to myself. Not weirdly, they work!
Enjoy my first thoughts on the topic!
Wishing us all a week of onward and amazing shoes!
XO RA

Perfectionism and Mantras

I’m a perfectionist. Which means I hold myself to impossible standards, am hard on myself–and all those things you’ve heard–that perfectionists procrastinate, etc? Yes, those are true about me. In fact I’ve spent a vast majority of my life striving to be perfect–and not always being nice to myself in the process–and being even harder on myself when I was unable to be perfect. Sadly, I think that being perfect is something that doesn’t exist.

I still believe in perfect shoes and outfits–but that’s probably a different story.

Get to know me a little and you’ll find that I love to work out. And I love workouts, like Soul Cycle, where encouraging mantras are said and they uplift you–and you feel good. One of the favorite mantras–and one I’ve seen in several places this week so it’s on my mind–is “The Way You Do One Thing Is The Way You Do All Things”. Which is great when I’m in a dark spin class–because I can sprint and jump and climb and do it well. But what about the things that I do not do well? The things I flat out suck at? The list of my talents is long–but I fear it is out numbered by my flaws. I’m human (hard to accept)– and this means I’m messy and unfortunately for me, cannot do all things perfectly. So this phrase has never sat well with me.

However, a spin teacher I love (Angela Davis if you’re ever in LA) has begun to say, “You don’t have to be perfect, you just have to be brave”.  Now this I can get behind. If I have to accept that I cannot be perfect–I get brave. Brave means taking risks, and trying, and doing your best. Brave I can do.

Another saying I love is “You have to have compassion for yourself, you cannot be brave every time, so when you can’t be kind to yourself”. Which is another way of saying “You have to give 100% of what you have right now, which will be different than tomorrow and different than yesterday, and that’s ok”. Let’s be honest–life can be hard, and even if we’re trying to be brave, we don’t always get there. I need to hear that it’s ok for me to try my hardest–and that my hardest will be different each day. This I can do.

So I’m trying, I’m being brave. I ramble –and I know there is no fashion tie in. Although, we could say that you should try that outfit you’ve been thinking of, and if it doesn’t work–it’s ok.

My hope for us this week is that we can all be brave, and when we can’t be as brave that we can have compassion towards ourselves. Oh–and I wish for us amazing shoes!

Happy Sunday!

xo RA

Sunday Chronicles: Spooky Season

Shadow of a woman dressed as Maleficent with horns on her head and holding a raven

October is it’s own kind of magic, and not just Halloween. The crispness in the air, the endings and the beginnings, the beginning of the holiday season.
There is that aspect- I know that this is the month that time seems to speed up, we start chatting about the holidays (I have already seen Christmas trees out in stores), I’m supposed to start talking about holiday gifts, and a lot of us will breeze right over Halloween (or dress up and have their tree up!) and go right into the HOLIDAY season.

Yet, the older I get the more I want to enjoy the season I’m in. Right now, that means spooky season. I want to enjoy the changing of the seasons, the pumpkins, the scary movies (or really just watching all the Hocus Pocus), the costumes (have I mentioned how much I love Fashion Halloween?), and just enjoying October.

So, if I’m not rushing into the next season, what does it mean to really be present in spooky season (besides the obvious)?
For me, it means a few things:
-spending time in the cool weather. I know this seems like a no-brainer, but it’s just starting to be cool where I am (and it still heats up in the afternoon!). So wearing a sweater, or jacket when I can means something
-fall and Halloween decorations. The more I don’t want to rush the seasons (really, I won’t put up Christmas till December, will try to take in November as much as I can), this means that this weekend I’m putting out pumpkins. And skeletons. Wreaths full of fall flowers and motifs. Planning costumes and getting out boots
-curating my social media and consumption. I’m not the best Horror Movie Watcher (Though I do love some horror, I’m more a thriller gal, very much a Hocus Pocus gal, have the Peanuts Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown on repeat), but I love to watch shows, movies, and listen to songs (Monster Watch) that match the season
-participate in fall activities. I’m not running to orchards or pumpkin patches. But I am making sure that I go out and do what fall means to me. Yes, some of it is basic. But, aren’t we all a little basic? I’m loving carving pumpkin parties, tailgates, and am so excited to hand out candy on Halloween (I also do a Hocus Pocus watch and make butternut squash soup!) Though if you want to ask me to apple of pumpkin pick with you I won’t say no!

I really am just concentrating on enjoying the moments, without rushing ahead. In the coming weeks I’ll be sharing my Halloween costumes- and my plans for holiday shopping. That’s what spooky season means to me! What does spooky season mean to you? And how are you celebrating?

I would love to hear about it!
Wishing us all a week of spooky and amazing shoes! XO RA

What to do when you HATE the trend

I originally wrote this post a few years ago. I pull it out now and again, because I can’t stop thinking about this topic. Again we’re finding ourselves at a time when trends are going to be presented. We’re in the middle of a transition to a new season. We’re being told what’s trendy, what we should buy, and the looks that we HAVE to have. And loves, I’m not mad at any of that. I love seeing new interpretations and getting to explore new sides of ourselves through fashion. The flip side of that? What if we hate it all. What if the trends for fall or next spring are just awful and wrong for us? Next week I’ll be sharing what 2021 Fall trends I’m excited about (and also what trends you can buy vintage!). I know that trends can have this negative connotation. But I really think if we can think of them as the fashion being offered to us- to do what we need to- they seem more appealing.
With that I feel a little bit better. I hope you do you!

Wishing us all a week of good trends and amazing shoes!
Xo RA

image

NY Fashion week has come and gone, and we’ve been presented with what’s on trend for now, and for the Fall. Which is great, right? Hopefully you’ve been inspired and are excited about what will be/is offered to you, and you have ideas and plans on how to wear it (or you’re excited to see how we wear it here!) But loves, let’s be honest with each other. There’s a chance, and there are times, when you just HATE a trend. Maybe you try it and it’s just not flattering on you. Maybe it brings back bad memories. Maybe you just hate it so much you can’t bring yourself to try it or think about it. I get it. I know, I’m in fashion and supposed to encourage you to try new things. Which I think you should. But not everything is for everyone.

Loves, I’ve struggled with this part all week. A part of me is torn–I feel as if I’m supposed to encourage you to try new things. Maybe the right piece, the right time, the right color will change your mind on a trend. Maybe. Trying different versions of a trend is also valid. Maybe you hate cold shoulder, but you love a certain off-the-shoulder. Maybe. Classics may be your thing and you don’t want to vary out, but one dress could change your mind. Maybe. I think all these avenues are great-again, I’m for us all trying things. But loves, sometimes things don’t work. And that’s valid too. Trends are simply that, a passing fancy, and if you don’t like it, it’s ok. A new trend will come about, or classics are always in style.
There are trends that I don’t like; and my personal view is that fashion is supposed to be a fun way to express yourself–not a list of things you HAVE to wear.

So, at the end of the day my biggest advice is, if you don’t love it, don’t wear it. That simple. Love what you wear, wear what makes you feel good!

XO RA

Sunday Chronicles: Hauls

If you’re VERY online, you know that there has been a lot of discourse about hauls (when someone buys anywhere from 10-50 pieces at a time, usually from a fast fashion retailer). And people have opinions. I have opinions. There has been advice from where to shop instead of fast fashion, to just stop hauls and shopping fast. But more important than all of that, I think the questions we should be asking ourselves is how can we find joy in really finding our style and taking our time building our wardrobes. Let’s chat about it!

And one of the dresses from my vintage “haul” (aka all of the lovely clothes that a neighbor gifted me when she and her daughter cleaned out their closets) I’m on the fence about. I love the color and the details- and it would need to be taken in (and there are so many options on how to do that!). So- what do you think? Keep or sell?

a woman in a blue dress leans against a door frame

Wishing us all a week of intentional shopping and amazing shoes! XO RA

Sunday Chronicles: Change of Plans

a woman with a black eye in a metallic shirt and black shorts stands on stones

One of my favorite sayings is “The way to make God laugh is to tell Him your plans”. A play on the fact that, no matter your beliefs, things have a way of not going to our plans all the time. This weekend I had every intention of shooting so many looks, working out, getting the house clean, etc. And yet, all week long all my plans have had to be changed. As it turns out, I pulled a muscle in my back- truly painful and very limiting on any movement I wanted to do. Then, on Thursday, I woke up with a black left eye. I have no clue how I got it (though I must have been hit at some point!), and while at first it didn’t hurt, over the past few days it’s gotten more swollen and hurt a bit more.

Which means, ironically, my plans for tomorrow might change and I may need to go to the Dr.

When my plans change, I try to roll with the punches, I try to be graceful, I try to take it all in stride. Sometimes a change of plans is easier said than done.

Knowing that I could rest for a week (or take it a bit easier physically), knowing that everything would get done eventually- even knowing that a great pair of sunnies could hide my black eye- the changes from what I had planned were hard to deal with. I was disappointed, frustrated, a bit sensitive, and a bit impatient. By the end of the week, even just putting off a run made me feel just awful.

And the reality is- these small change in my plans were not earth ending. As I’ve said, I know that everything will get back on track, I have time, and I can already move my body so much more than usual. So, why do our plans changing upset us so?

Yes- obviously there is a big difference between small and big plans, while there were moments this week that felt big, my change of plans were all fairly minor. Yet, they were upsetting.

Is it because we think we know best? That we have a hard time with change in general? That going with the flow is easier said than done? For me, it’s probably a combo. I’ll tell you (and I can be) that I love spur of the moment plans- but I also know that my plans changing can throw me for a loop. Even the minor plans.

So, what do we do when we have to change plans? Thus far I’ve vented to friends, felt bad about it, gotten mad about it, tried to over compensate with replanning the plans– and nothing has felt as good as just letting my body (and me and my plans) be- and happen as they can. There are times I’m better at it than others, and I’m sure there’s a lesson in there that I might not learn right away.

What do you do when you have to change your plans? How do you handle it?

Wishing us all a week of plans that work and amazing shoes! XO RA

Sunday Chronicles: Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris

movie poster-pink- with an older woman in a skirt suit and hate, holding a briefcase with Dior dresses, a man raising his hat and two women in the background with text Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris

This week I went to the movies for the first time since the pandemic started. There’s a whole post to be written about my love for movies, how I used to go at least once a week, and how nervous I was to go back to the movie theater. I did wear my mask the whole time, chose a smaller theater, and a weekday matinee. All which made me feel more comfortable. But. This post is about Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris, which was not only a great movie to see (and about fashion!) but a movie that reminded me why I love movies and stories so SO much.

Not giving the entire plot away, but in Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris a London cleaning lady in 1957 saves up to buy herself a Dior dress (when it was still all couture), and her adventures doing so. I will never be the one to discourage you from saving and buying yourself something beautiful (Dior dress or not), but that wasn’t the only thing I loved about this movie!

I loved that Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris reminded me that:

Fashion is Magical
an older woman in a teal cardigan and red hat looks on in awe , behind her sit a woman in a floral dress and a man in a black suit

When Mrs. Harris gets to Paris, specifically to the House of Dior, she stumbles into a fashion show. Her expressions during the display of dresses, suits, coats, and hats is simply one of awe. She even claps at certain looks. I understand that impulse- I’ve clapped when buying shoes. But it was a reminder that fashion is magical, it can make you feel things, it’s awe inspiring. Yes, fashion is functional and tells our stories, and is often beautiful, but I think that sometimes we forget that the combination of all of those many things that fashion is can be magic. And sometimes, in a couture house, or when we see fashion that moves us, or when fashion is incredibly beautiful, I think the appropriate response is to call it magic and be awe struck by it.

Fashion is mad of details
One scene in the movie, one of the workers gives Mrs. Harris a tour of the Dior workroom. From buttons to patterns to embellishments, there was an attention to detail- from the magical to the mundane. Yes, the movie reminded me that fashion (and we) are magic, but there is also function, business, work, and detail that goes into fashion. Yes, there are conversations to be had about who makes our clothes, how they make them, and our own needed details. I loved that this movie- about the magic of fashion- took the time to point them out. And it was also a reminder to me that the little things about our outfits- the ones we think maybe no one notices? They matter.

Our Stories Matter
In the film, Mrs. Harris is a simple war window, a cleaner called an “invisible woman” by more than one person. Yet her story- falling in love with a dress, yearning for that beauty, saving and coming to live out her dream inspires others. From love to work, Mrs. Harris inspires and changes the lives of those who she comes into contact with. In this blog I’ve made it my mission to tell our stories, with fashion, to make sure that our stories matter. There was a part in the movie where it’s mentioned that even if Mrs. Harris is simply going to keep her Dior dress for herself that it’s worth it, and I agree with that. I also agree with the notion that the stories we tell- who we are, what we do, what we wear, can change others.

There is so much more to this movie. I truly loved every minute of Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris (I may have to get back to the theater more often!), and highly suggest seeing it! It’s also a book (which I’m reading), and I believe that you can get the entire Mrs. Harris series (she also goes to New York and Moscow!) on Kindle for under $10!! And because of who I am, and the stories I tell, I did make my movie going outfit an occasion:
a woman in a blue silt shirt, white pleated silk skirt, studded brown sandals stands in front of a red wall, brown door, sink
(The skirt is vintage Dior because I love a theme!)

Have you made it back to the movies? Have you seen (or read) Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris? What were your take aways?

Wishing us all a week of magic and amazing shoes!XO RA

Sunday Chronicles: Sick

Investment Piece: Day Off

I had big plans for this weekend – from posts to IRL plans. And yet, they’ve all been put on hold as I’ve been under the weather. Because of the pandemic, of course I’m worried about it being Covid (I’m currently just achy and have a sore throat so I’m hoping not!). I did have the Omicron variant in January- and I didn’t talk about it. Partly as I wanted to see how it played out (I was lucky and had a mild case but did deal with lingering symptoms, one of my fears of getting another variant); and partly as talking about being sick isn’t something I’m skilled at.

Also, partly as I was hoping if I didn’t address ha I bc Covid it wouldn’t affect us here.

I spent yesterday laying low, doing the bare minimum, taking care of myself. At the end of the day I was feeling better than I did when I woke up. There is a chance this is something – but I’m crossing my fingers it’s a little bit of being run down and I get over asap. But. This time I want to talk about it- my fears about being sick, how it might affect me, and include us in the process. We (all of us) have been dealing with the pandemic and it just seems silly not to be honest about our personal experiences.

There is a new outfit post tomorrow, and as of now it doesn’t seem as if any of our shoot plans or posts will be affected. If I do end up having Covid I will let you know (again, let’s hope I’m not!) and if the schedule changes here I’ll let you know.

In the meantime, let’s take care of each other out there. If you have any tips to get over any illness quickly I’m all ears!

Wishing us all a week of health and amazing shoes!
Xo RA

Sunday Chronicles: Burnout

A woman in white pants, a red and white striped shirt holds a big hat over her face as she stands in front of a pool

Everyone I know is burned out right now. The toll of the last few years seems to be taking its tool, and my loved ones (and me) are over tired, over sensitive, and overwhelmed. If you google burnout what turns up is: Burnout is a form of exhaustion caused by constantly feeling swamped. It’s a result of excessive and prolonged emotional, physical, and mental stress. In many cases, burnout is related to one’s job. Burnout happens when you’re overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and unable to keep up with life’s incessant demands. Which is a great definition. And may accurately describe our collective state during this time due to the incessant nature of everything.

What’s not super clear when you google burnout is how to cure it.

It’s not just my loved ones, I have to admit that I’m a bit burned out too. I’m wiped, at times finding it difficult to be passionate about the things I care about, and in general I have little to no energy. My burnout is not an all day everything issue, but I am beginning to notice it. Remember on Wednesday when I was all excited to revamp everything? While that’s still my plan, I haven’t found the energy to start on anything, and even the things I feel excited about I’m still kinda “meh” about.

I’ve spent some time this week chatting with more than one friend, and they are all feeling the same way. So, my question is: if we know that we’re burned out what do we do about it?

Google has advice like “rest, journal, exercise, get help”- which are all great suggestions. But what if you’re doing all those things and still dealing with burnout?

The answers for that seem to be a bit more vague, especially as so much of the collective burnout isn’t work related, but related to the Pandemic, the state of the world, and all of the things we don’t have control over. So, what am I doing about my own burnout? I am resting more, and at the same time trying to get into a routine that serves me (aka not staying up super late watching old reruns!). I’m bringing back a sense of play, aka letting myself move (swim, dance) just for fun, and getting in my closet and exploring. I’m also making it a point to spend time with friends and people I love.

Is it a quick cure? Not at all. But my desire for the revamp (and all good things) also keeps me going a bit. Are you dealing with some burnout right now? How are you “curing” it? What helps? I’m open to any and all tips- and if I find something that works great, I will pass it along!

Wishing us all a week of rest and amazing shoes! XO RA