Over the lockdown portion of the pandemic a thing I did to keep sane was start a “Cocktails and Caftans” series over on IG- essentially just that making cocktails while wearing amazing caftans. And one of the most special to me was when I made martinis (whilst wearing a great vintage kimono!) – mainly as one of my dearest friends was the one who taught me how. And this great friend? She turns 80! today! I just adore her, have the best time with her, and really appreciate all we learn from each other. She’s like a second mother but also a fantastic friend.
Connected- one of my best tips is to make friends with people not like you. Not your age, not your “class”, background, race, etc- the relationships are so so enriching.
As it’s my friend’s birthday, I wanted to honor her, so I’ve been thinking about -some-of the things I’ve learned and loved from her! And because I think of us as great friends, I’m sharing them with you!
Wear What You’re Comfortable In
I love fashion and I love playing dress up. But I also want to feel good in what I wear, and be comfortable. My friend is a huge fan of wearing outfits that are in your comfort zone- but fabulous. She’s a fan of pants and statement tops. I love skirts and dresses. When we go out (because we can’t always make our own martinis), we each wear what we love, and feel great in it. We don’t have to worry about our outfits, so we can concentrate on the important things-like each other.
Always have a Bottle Ready
Bubbles. Gin. Wine. My friend is always ready for company, for celebrations, for a cup of cheer. I don’t think the point is always to stock your bar, but to be open. I love that she (often) has more energy than me, and is willing to try a lot, even if it’s not in her comfort zone. Probably what keeps her young! And perhaps we should all celebrate with friends a bit more in her honor- I will be dancing with her this weekend-I hope you can find a similar fun thing to do!
Reading and Hand Written Notes Matter
My friend was an English Professor (so I’m sure there are times she hates my grammar), but one of the things I love about our friendship is that we share a love of reading- and trade book recommendations. We also chat movies and music, fashion and current events. I’ve also never been given more thoughtful gifts, or received such timely thank you notes when I gift her! These all may seem like little things, but they make a big difference.
My friend is one of those people that just make you feel great when they’re around. I’m so grateful for them in my life, and I can’t wait to celebrate them this weekend. I hope that you have these kinds of friends- to wear fantastic things with and raise toasts with. I’m so grateful you’re here, that we can do those things together- and know any time it’s needed I’m ready to make a drink and put on a party dress with you!
This post is part fashion stories- because these gloves were never mine. They happened to be in the pocket of a trench coat that my grandma left me. Yet, they fit perfectly. I always get compliments. These Isotoners are both a reminder of my Grandmother’s love, and a chic glove.
And yes, these are Isotoners. Which also makes this part a Now and Then (where we chat about fashion pieces you can get both new and vintage)- and Isotoners fit the bill! There are so many Isotners (even new in box!) that you can buy vintage. And there are new Isotoners you can buy now. Luckily, as of yet, prices haven’t gone up – so both vintage and new are incredible investments.
I have a soft spot for these gloves, and Isotoners, in general. Yes, they remind me of my grandma. But they also remind me of childhood, and what I thought was chic and grown up at the time. (I don’t think I was wrong.) They fit so well, keep me warm without being bulky, and again- I get compliments every time I pull them out. Because it felt as if they were part of the package with my grandma’s trench, I haven’t been able to take them out, so I only wear these gloves when I wear my Grandma’s trench, but that makes them a bit more special.
In fact, I’ve been thinking of buying myself (and my loved ones) new Isotoners, not only to remember my Grandma, but because they are just so chic!
I’ve linked both vintage and new Isotoners below for you- I hope that they have good memories and that they bring a lot of compliments and chic tones to your winter outfits!
XO RA
Note This post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!
Note: This is a repost from Fashoinista, you can see the original here. The author is Maura Brannigan and when I read it I fell in love. Many of us suffer with anxiety and depression. I’m not immune to that. My anxiety can make many things difficult, and there are times when planning my outfits gives me peace. There are also times when I hyper focus on how I look- from my skin to my hair to all the things from how my jeans fit, etc. Ritual and routine, aka skincare, can be so soothings- especially when we can see results! Which is why I’m thrilled to announce I’ve partnered with CosmeticRx, which offers prescriptions on RetinA and Latisse (And I’m in love with skin care that means we look amazing without makeup!). You can use code INVESTMENTPIECE for $19 RetinA (and strength) and Latisse monthly orders starting at $89! This article, and these products, really speak and help me – and I hope they do the same for you! XO RA
When I was in fourth grade, I realized I could not, for lack of a better phrase, see shit. It occurred to me abruptly, in the middle of a math lesson. My table was in the mid-back of the classroom, and as my teacher was doing whatever she was doing on the overhead projector, I began panicking when things I should have been able to read appeared blurry, like someone had sneakily slid Vaseline over my eyeballs at recess. My tiny body felt hot and immobile, suddenly much too big for its chair; if I willed myself just so, I wondered, could I drop through the linoleum and leave a searing hole in my place? At least that way, none of my classmates would have to see me in the inevitable, which I knew to be glasses.
Sure enough: I emerged from LensCrafters several days later, bummed about my newfound ailment but also absolutely amazed at the detail I could now see. (“Leaves!” I remember announcing to my dad as we left the store. “They look like that?!”)
I see now that this was, probably, one of my earlier panic attacks. There were other incidents, too, like my first day of kindergarten when I sat alone, my social anxiety revving up while I silently, maniacally brainstormed conversation topics I could present to my new peers. My anxiety has always been there. It sits on my shoulder, alerts me that something is off and then vacates the building. It is very flighty. But it has legs.
Like so many people with anxiety, or with depression, or with any number of mood disorders, I find my security in plans. I’ve never met a list I didn’t just devour. And as with so many others, my anxiety is often triggered when I’m thrown off schedule. When I sense my symptoms — sometimes mental, like a weird, morose dread, or sometimes physical, like shortness of breath or stomach knots — I take comfort in pattern. Much has been said in recent years about how elaborate beauty routines, sometimes Korean ones, can help fight depression. I get that wholly.
When I was younger (and there was also much less visibility surrounding mental health), I deduced on my own that if I could regulate every last element of what was happening on the outside of my body, it could have lasting effects on what was going on inside that makes me want to barrel through floors. Even today, my obsession with the fashion and beauty industries is inextricably linked to my expectation that looking nice, looking exactly what I want to look like, will leave me, finally, feeling at ease.
The degree to which I go about planning is methodical at one end of the spectrum and neurotic at the other. There was the year that “The Parent Trap” was released on VHS, and my 10-year-old brain became so embarrassingly infatuated with Hallie Parker that I took pen-to-paper notes on her wardrobe each time I watched. There was my first day of seventh grade in which, after a summer of intensive mood-boarding, I showed up to school in a truly wild, 1970s-inspired ensemble complete with bell bottoms and brown suede boots. My efforts backfired, and I was snickered at with such gusto that I felt I had no choice but to change into my gym clothes. (I wasn’t so much upset, per se, as I was frustrated that my classmates didn’t yet know how to appreciate a proper “lewk.”) There was the month-long stretch — I was, maybe, 15 — when I decided having Pantene Pro-V commercial hair would eliminate all my adolescent woes. When I realized that it did not and it would not, I felt like I had been stabbed in the back by that very shampoo bottle.
My relationship with fashion and beauty products has helped me cope. And over the years, I’ve accumulated a collection of stuff — skin-care, aromatherapy, supplements, whatever — that I’ve turned to time and again to make me feel in control.
Most of that regimen has some physiological benefit, as I’ve learned through years and years of product testing. Bedtime is my scariest time; it can take what is essentially witchcraft to get me asleep. I keep a lavender sachet on my bedside table, which I let sit on my chest for a few minutes when I first climb into bed. I love a pillow spray, as well, the most effective variety of which I’ve found to be the mega-popular Deep Sleep Pillow Spray with lavender, vetiver and camomile from This Works. The hype is not misplaced; after several months of use, the brand’s name holds up.
Mornings, though, are easy. I began taking Ashwagandha, an adaptogenic herb popular in Ayurvedic medicine, with my breakfast about two years ago, per the recommendation of my doctor. (Obviously, supplements aren’t for everyone, and you should always check with your own doctor before starting them.) Both Google and my doctor say that Ashwagandha helps lower cortisol, balance thyroid hormones and combat stress. I say that, yes, it does do that, but I don’t know if it’s the placebo of taking, doing, planning that helps more.
Last winter posed a new kind of challenge. None of my regular tricks seemed to do what I needed them to do. Neither did the calendar-planning, nor the additional pages of lists I scribbled in an attempt to coax myself into stillness. I felt lost, and disheartened, and guilty for feeling any of it. I felt guilty for being rattled when I knew so many others had it much worse than I did. I felt guilty for comparing my own anxiety to that of others, when my mental health was mine and mine alone. I felt guilty for saying no to my closest friends in an attempt to prioritize “self-care,” a hot new phrase I felt guilty for not knowing if I was practicing correctly. I felt guilty for being a selfish partner, and I felt guilty that my boyfriend had to see me as a person I myself didn’t recognize.
Some evenings, I would come home and immediately lie down on the kitchen floor, not bothering to take off my coat or scarf or hat. If my partner was home, he and our dog would join, three warm bodies sardined between the stove and sink. That guilt, of feeling him planking next to me when I knew that he, too, didn’t know how to help me, was worst of all.
I would get up, eventually. And soon, it became days, then weeks, then months, since my last time on the kitchen floor. I just kept doing what I knew worked: letting objects, like hand lotion that smells like my mom, work their material, aspirational magic, and healing from the outside in. An advertiser’s dream.
I feel guilty for that, too. Fashion and beauty products are, of course, just “things.” But we all know “things” can also carry real, emotional weight and become so much more. Why should I judge myself for what I find and have always found to be constructive?
Even so, I’m trying to learn how to loosen the reins, as they say, so that I don’t immediately slip into “flight” mode when confronted with the unexpected. I’m trying to learn how to let anxiety simply beat through me, and how to treat it with the same compassion I might bestow on a loved one, or as I’m also learning, on myself.
Right now, I’m working on my own wellness practice, like meditation — I enjoy the “Calm” app — and 4-7-8 breathing. But I’ve found that the very best thing I can do for myself is to stare my anxiety, and the guilt that comes with it, straight in the face — not to embalm it in lavender or distract it with 18 tabs of suede mules that, in some strange way, might make each hard day feel more navigable. Absolutely everything changed when I began accepting my anxiety for what it is, not trying to fix it like something I could tend with a Band-Aid — how one might fix a fourth-grade astigmatism with a pair of glasses from LensCrafters.
PS My eyes (though I’ve always needed glasses) are also going -though I’m leaning into reading glasses being chic. And I’m using the RetinA to disguise the fact that sometimes squinting is leaving me with wrinkles I would rather not have. Reminder that code InvestmentPiece at CosmeticRX gets you a $19 order! xo RA
I’m a firm believer that what we wear helps to tell our stories, and whether or not you have caught on or not- I’m a big football fan. (Cliche? Who knows?) Especially my college football team, TCU. My freshman year at college, we won ONE game (against SMU). We (my friends and the rest of the student body) rushed the field to celebrate, got pepper sprayed by the police (a fact my mom recently learned); and from there it’s been nothing but going up. My beloved Gary Patterson (who I have feelings about how he got let go- if you know you know) took the Head Coaching job and we went from 1-12 to an undefeated season, winning the Rose Bowl, and today we play for the College Football Championship. It’s been a ride, a journey- and with the football gods on our side and a bit of luck, it’s not over yet.
You may have noticed that I wear a lot of purple. Partially because I love the color, but partially because it’s a TCU color and it’s a way to support my team. A part of me knows that this is just a game and TCU has won just by getting there (underdog and if you follow college football you know). And yet, another part of me knows that this is huge- from the opportunity to how much I want my team to win to the reunions happening for so many of my friends (The last time TCU won a Football Championship it was 1938 so it’s not an understatement to say ALL my TCU friends are going or are glued to the TV tonight). I’m bouncing between being completely sure we will win, and wanting to vomit from nerves. (It’s a good thing I’m on the sidelines and not playing!) But, as I don’t play football, what I do is tell stories with my fashion – and that matters too. So, as a tribute, my part, and a way to put my all behind my team I’ve rounded up some of my most favorite purple outfits. Turns out purple is a passion of mine, from the field to the runway, and I thank you for hearing my stories.
Just so you know, I’m counting on all of you rooting for my team and wearing purple today (I’ve essentially taken the day off to do that!) The parts of us that we don’t think are fashion related or may be a little bit cliche? Let’s not shy away from using our fashion to tell those stories too!
Go Frogs! Wear all the purple!
XO RA
in a purple gown for a cousin’s weddingin a Holiday perfect gownin a purple day dresspurple on a bikepurple as color blockingpurple as a print
These are the tip of my purple outfits. I have a favorite pair of purple pants. TCU sweatshirts and tees. I even have purple TCU nikes. My love of TCU football is often told through my fashion, and I promise from a run on the treadmill to cheering my Frogs with my mom and sister tonight, I’ll be wearing purple (as a passion) and telling all sorts of stories. I can’t wait to tell you how we won- and I’d love to know what story you regularly tell with your fashion choices!
I love this time of year for so so many reasons, but it’s also the party dresses. It’s no secret that I love them, wear them even if it’s not a party, and love what comes next (party dress sale season!). From Holiday parties to NYE, to some cheer for the new year, there’s no bad reason for a party dress right now. This is a look back at some of my favorites of the past, I can’t wait to see what’s to come!
XO RA
Every season we chat about trends, and I share my picks and what trends I’m excited about (see my trend report for 2022 here). Yet, sometimes it takes getting into a season, trying things on, seeing trends on others, and seeing what your life is like to see what trends you really love for the season. This fall I have loved playing in pink and reacquainting myself with platforms. I’ve never met a suit I didn’t like, and I love the deep textures such as velvets that are in stores.
Yet, there a few trends that I’ve been seeing on IG that I just love and a few that I have been experimenting with that I just love. This list isn’t so much an update on trends as a refining of ones that I’m finding fit into my day to day life. I’m hoping that they provide some inspiration for you!
Note: This post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!
Black Hose
While I’ve been getting into hose(tights, whatever you call them, see here), this seasons I’m finding myself reaching for black hose (sheer and opaque) more and more. They are perfect with minis, maxis, and midi skirts and dresses. They keep you warm as the temps drop. And look incredibly chic. Perhaps women of the past had it right when they wore hose (and we’re lucky that garter belts are now optional!)
OverSized Blazers
A take on the suit, an oversized blazer goes great over a mini (maybe I’m really loving minis too!), over jeans, and as a coat. Pair with sweater dresses, boots, and perhaps even a brooch! I’m partial to plaids, and the following are some of my faves!
Faux Leather
Yes, this was in the trend report I did at the beginning of fall. And While I knew that I love leather (and faux leather), seeing the dresses, tops, blazers, trenches, skirts, and pants that this season is offering, have me falling deeper in love. Faux leather is both edgy and classic, able to dress up and dress down. On trend cutouts, lace mixed with classics like blazers and leggings- and leather is completely seasonal! These are some of the leather pieces I’m currently loving:
1960s Vibes
I don’t know if we call this a trend but I’m loving the 60s vibes (from big hair to cat eyes). Side Note- I’m also loving everything that Anne Hathaway has been wearing from appearances to photoshoots, from big hair to prints, I want to recreate all of her looks. Lately, I’ve been using hot rollers in my hair for volume, adding on the eyeliner, and have been attracted to shift sets, go-go boots, and more.
What trends have you been loving as you have been seeing them out and about this season? I would love to hear about them and how you’re styling them!
XO RA
Remember when I played with colored tights (a bit out of my comfort zone but so fun!)? Well, it turns out that colored and patterned tights are a statement piece for fall. So! I couldn’t help but revisit how we can style them (and I’ve updated some of my fave tights!).
Tights, hose, whatever you want to call them- they are a winter staple and at the same time an accessory to play with. I’ll be honest, I was a little scared of playing with colored tights. If I wore blue tights with a blue outfit would I look like a blueberry? But then I thought- if I can wear all black and feel chic why not play with other colors? If I believe that clothes are how we tell our stories, why not have a little fun?
So- I began to play. From patterns, then patterns with colors. Pastels with neutrals, then pastels with color. And then- bright colors.
My tips?
-Have an outfit formula. For me that was a skirt and a top, meaning that I could add or subtract color of any portion of the outfit. I could go more neutral or add more color.
-Be comfortable and confident. Part of trying anything new is that- simply trying! I tried things on, saw what I liked. I realized that there were days when I would be more bold and days when I would be more timid- but either way I wanted to be comfortable. The only way to get there is to try.
-I broke colored tights into 3 categories:patterns (sub group patterns with color), pastels (the lighter they are the more “nude” they’ll be), and brights(fyi colors like navy and maroon will read closer to black!). Each of these give you so much room to play and have fun!
And I think the main thing is to have fun! As I mention, if we don’t like it, we can always just change our outfits. Throughout the day I’ll be updating these looks on the @shopltk app!
I would love to know: do you rock colored tights? With what? How did you get comfortable with them? When you have a new fashion item how do you style it? I would love to know any and all of it!
XO RA
Below I’ve linked some of my favorite colored (and patterned) tights! Note: While this post does contain affiliate links, that does not affect the price for you, even thought I might earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!
About a month ago I asked you what you would define your style as:
I know this might be daunting, but I thought long and hard about it and this is my response:
I’m dying to know: what would you define as your style?
XO RA
As we know, I truly believe that fashion is a way to tell our stories. But, what does that say about the stories we don’t tell- aka the clothes we don’t keep. Surely there’s a story there too. So, let’s chat about it! I share clothes a very sweet family friend gave to me- they don’t fit for multiple reasons, but there is still a bunch of love in these clothes. And I’m hoping that the love gets a new story as I pass them along.
What stories don’t you keep? And what do you think happens to them as we pass them along?
I would love to know!
Loves, I have some shocking news for you. It’s summer. And I’m in a swimsuit. In fact, I’m wearing a swimsuit with EVERYTHING. Pants. Skirts. Shorts. Capes. Alone. With anything I can get my hands on. I have a thing for swimsuit fashion. So much so that I made a little video about it:
It happens every year : the temps go up and my bathing suits come out. Not just to the pool, beach, or under a cover up, but as a base for many, many outfits. This summer may see me hang out more in the back yard, but I’m still using my swim suit as fashion inspiration. As I shop and put together outfits, I’ll be sharing them with you. In the mean time, stay cool and healthy and in your swimsuit!
I’ve also rounded up some of my current fave swimsuits for your weekend shopping pleasure!
XO RA
Note: This post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!