Tis the time of year for many, many things, like kindness and joy- and rituals. I’ve been thinking a lot about rituals lately (defined as usually religious series of acts repeated with meaning attached), because with all of the things that are a part of this time of year come the rituals, or traditions- from your religious ceremonies to how and when you decorate your tree or house.
I’ve written about some of my thoughts on holiday traditions here, here, here, here, here.
It’s not that my traditions are changing- I’m still wearing plaid, wishing for snow, and excited to eat my momma’s beef stroganoff this Christmas Eve- but I’ve been thinking more about the rituals behind these traditions and the meaning they bring to what we (always) do. I took a class a few years ago based upon the premise that all human relationships were built on ritual (a series of repeated action) and spontaneous actions – together they build foundation, fun, and family. When applied to our holiday traditions, I can’t help but appreciate the ritual- the things we do passed down from generation to generation, and the ways we adjust them (aka being spontaneous). If you google the importance of rituals, you’ll get a ton of results that explain everything from how rituals tie us to our past and move us forward, how rituals heal, and how rituals build us up.
When you think about it, the holiday season comes at the ending of a year and is the beginning of another. Rituals bring us joy, temper our sorrow, and move us from one place to the next. And because we can tweak our rituals (there are things that we still do the exact same way we did when I was 3, and things we’ve changed), I like think to think that our rituals are living. And of course they’re magic.
So. If we can admit that rituals matter and move us, how do we honor them? How do we take these rituals that ground us and yet allow them to move us forward? If you’re like me, there are rituals you don’t want to change- I love family Christmas PJs and watching Miracle on 34th Street, and all the goodies! On the other hand, I love how my family holidays have grown up with my sister and I (we don’t have kids). I long to hold on and I want to leave room for change. Maybe that’s the magic of the ritual. It lets you do both.
This year we aren’t making big changes. We’re doing what we have done, and honoring what our rituals have grown into. When I know think about rituals, I think about both the past and the future- and I’m excited about both. This season is a season of rituals and traditions, past and future. May we find comfort and ways to honor all. I would love to hear your thoughts about rituals, your family traditions and how you’re feeling going into the season.
Wishing us all a week of comfort and amazing shoes! XO RA
There is a myth, or ideal really, that most American women–especially those who love fashion adhere to; that being “French”, or effortless is something to aspire to being. That somehow to be able to throw on anything and have it look perfect,to have your hair fall perfectly everyday; that it is possible to not really try and that you will look perfect and things will work out. And here’s the thing–this is true sometimes. We all have days where our hair is somehow perfect, and no matter what we put on it looks great, our careers and relationships just seem to click and flow; and everything requires minimal effort. I do love effortless days–they make everything seem easy and doable.
On the other hand, the great Tom Ford has said “Dressing well is a form of good manners”. I’m not saying to dress well and being effortless are mutually exclusive–but as much as we strive for effortless, let’s be honest–we all experience the other side of the coin too. We all have days where we have to think about what we wear, try on many options–put effort into our clothes. We have days where we have to spend time on hair and make-up, maybe put in extra effort into our relationships and career because it is needed. Is this effort a bad thing? Hopefully it pays off– and let’s be honest , there are times when putting in the effort is fun, it feels good to try sometimes.
I often long for effortless. It’s a dream to have every outfit be a hit, hair that always falls into place, things that come without too much hard work. Yet, I find I often have to put in effort. I can try (too hard at times) and there are still outfits that didn’t work, bad hair days, and things that came with intense amounts of effort.
Are these the only two options–putting in effort or being effortless? Are there the types of people who have to try and those who don’t? I don’t have all the answers–I know, that bums me out too. I do think that all of us are both of these types though. I believe that we are all capable of effortless days–and all have days where effort is required. Here’s the big epiphany- I don’t think that one is better than the other. Days where everything from your t-shirt to hair to relationship and career just work are amazing and you should cherish them. Days where you have to think and try for your outfit, lipstick, conversations and meetings are also amazing and you should cherish them.
And some days are in the middle- a mix of effort and effortlessness and those might be the most special of all.
Maybe effort and effortless are two sides of the same coin; maybe we need one to appreciate the other. Maybe aspiring to effortless is something you should do; maybe trying, even trying too hard occasionally, is something you should do too. All I know is that both can feel good–and that both kinds of days can be good. So this is my wish for us all: great days this week–whether that means you have to put effort into your hair or not and of course, amazing shoes.
With everything that’s happening in the world, it’s difficult not to question what we’re doing here. And I don’t just mean here- in my tiny little corner of the internet- but in general. Here. This rings especially true for those of us who’s pursuits are more of the creative kind. As I think about the suffering and the potential for destruction that’s happening around the world, I can’t help but wonder- is fashion frivolous? Should we be putting our energy into something else?
I don’t make light of anything that’s happening. It’s heartbreaking and important and everyone in the Ukraine and in war’s path needs and deserves our support and care. Those heavy things deserve our attention and our care (even when doing so is hard). And yet- I can’t bring myself to tell you that fashion is frivolous, that it doesn’t matter.
Yes, maybe now is not the time to be shopping thoughtlessly; perhaps our outfits aren’t the foremost things in our minds. But. While there is not a magic outfit that could bring about world peace (how I wish there were), I still firmly believe that fashion is simply a means with which we tell our stories. And now, more than ever, our stories matter.
I think it’s easy (and a bit lazy) to call fashion frivolous. In some instances, fashion is a luxury, it can be a hobby, and fashion is easy to look down upon as it doesn’t offer any solutions to heavy problems. Yet. Fashion is a trade, a skill, an art. The men and women who make textiles and craft our garments are skilled workers who provide us with at the least a form of shelter and at most, storytelling material.
Even when things are hard and heavy, even perhaps when we aren’t always paying attention to what we’re wearing, our fashion tells our story- from uniforms to support to statements. And our stories matter. The story that we’re telling now may be heavy, but it may also be hopeful. Maybe it’s a story of support for people who are suffering, maybe what you wear lets someone know you’re an ally. Perhaps what you wear tells the story of survival, getting through the day, the story of revolution.
And maybe, by telling our stories we give others the permission to tell theirs.
There are a lot of stories out there right now. Stories that deserve our attention and our help and our reverence. Some of those stories are being today with fashion. So, how can we call fashion frivolous?
(I’m not even getting into how fashion can be a release, can make you feel good, can give you something to look forward to.Fashion can also be joyful, and even in hard ship joy is necessary and sacred. This is a mulit-layered topic, but I think it starts with the understanding that fashion is meaningful.)
I know right now we’re all aware of the world and its suffering, I am and I don’t want to make light of any of it. It’s not the time for carefree frolic of any kind. But, even though there is no magic peace outfit, maybe our fashion (and the support of those who make it) is a part of the solution and not some distraction? (Though if you need a distraction right now there is nothing wrong with that!)
I don’t concede that fashion is frivolous because fashion is a part of who we are, and we all matter.
Wishing us all a week of peace, hope, and amazing shoes. Slava Ukraini!
XO RA
It’s usually the Sunday when we do Ex Files here (the place where I share dating horror stories that happen to me and my beloveds). Yet, today with all that’s happening in the world I couldn’t bring myself to write out a story about dating- I can’t stop thinking about Ukraine. The people, the fight in the them, the leadership of their president. Of course, like many of you, I’m wondering how I can support them, what I should do- and how our stories of fashion fit in this moment. It’s a lot to think about, and I realize I’m in a position of safety and privilege to sit back and think.
I don’t know that I have the answers. What I know is that I highly admire the Ukraine people, the bravery of their president, and that I’m so in awe of their stories. Even related to Ex Files, have you heard the Tinder stories coming out of the Russian war? Evidently Russian soldiers have been attempting to match with Ukrainian women over Tinder- depending on the stories you read either the soldiers are using the women for intel or the Ukraine women who are using the intel to give to the Ukraine army. I like to think Tinder is being used to for good, and if given the chance, would love to read those dating stories.
I also know that we’re each given talents, mine are stories and fashion. At times like these, it can feel as if those talents aren’t needed- but stories like the Tinder one above, remind me that our stories are what we have- and are worth fighting for, maybe the only things worth fighting for. And that on top of telling stories, we can support. If you’re moved to give to help support Ukraine at this time I suggest finding a charity that speaks to you (for me so far it’s been WCK for Ukraine but I know there are so many many great places to give out there). If you need a place to start try here and here.
This week as I’ve struggled to know what to say I’ve been reminded that any work we do to stand up to evil or be good tugs at the big threads that connect us all, and works to unravel all that needs unraveling. Maybe it’s fashion or stories, supporting from afar or up close, what we do is important- and the small things we do can add up to big things.
As overwhelmed and unsure I’ve been this week, I’ve gained strength and inspiration from Ukraine (ironic as I would love to help them). May we all have the bravery of the Ukraines this week, and may we all find our own ways to support them.
Wishing us all a week of strength, peace, and amazing shoes! XO RA
When I was a kid, I was extremely aware of every day we had off school. I tracked them, I looked forward to them, from in-service days to long winter breaks I always had them in my calendar, had plans (even to just stay home) and could name them. As an adult, I wish I could be on top of holidays. It’s not that I don’t know the major ones, or do my calendar, but unless I have major plans often minor holidays escape my attention.
Sad? True? I often know it’s holiday like President’s Day (our current minor holiday in America) because of the sales.
And sales are something I’m a big fan of (tomorrow I’ll be sharing my sales picks!). But I also think holidays- even the minor ones- are something worth celebrating. Maybe it’s that as I get older I more and more understand that we shouldn’t “save” things for special occasions (every day is special), or maybe it’s that any chance I get to relax or travel or be with people I love is a chance I want to take advantage of- but minor holidays are beginning to be some of my favorites.
Ironic when you consider I have a more difficult time keeping track of them.
While when I was in school these minor holidays were something I had plans for, and now they as often sneak up on me and they come as a wonderful surprise! Imagine- suddenly discovering you have a day off!** If you’ve been planning for days like President’s day trips, parties, may be on your calendar. Yet, maybe you’re like me and Monday being a holiday was something you learned about via sales emails. And while I have things I “could” do, there’s not a deadline I must meet. Meaning, this minor holiday is my day- to rest, recoup, watch tv, shop, anything my heart desires.
**Side note, I know not every minor holiday is a day off, as many companies or fields don’t always give time off. There have been plenty of holidays that I’ve spent working-maybe that’s part of why I can sometimes have a difficult time remembering them!
How decant is a day where you don’t have to do anything? There is, of course, the idea that we should use these minor holidays to “get ahead” and work on things- and while that’s valid, and I may do a bit of that- I’m trying to take minor holidays as a time to use for me. In any of those wonderful ways I mentioned above.
So, if you need me tomorrow I may be on the couch, or online shopping, or watching movies, anything that leaves me ready to face the rest of the week at my best! What do you do on minor holidays? How are you spending your President’s Day?
Wishing us all a week of celebrating and amazing shoes! XO RA
Yes, this was originally a Sunday Chronicles article. Yes, I posted this before. But this week, as I’m trying to set my goals for the year, and really thinking about who I want to be (and what I want to wear this year), I’ve been thinking about some of the themes below. How can I put myself out there (in an outfit at the grocery store or opening up to you) and be comfortable with some people not liking it? How do I get better at moving through things? How do I forgive myself for missing the mark? The article below doesn’t solve all of those problems, but it does remind me of where the magic happens, and that’s a start.
If I had to add anything to this, it would be along the lines of don’t be afraid to revisit and rework ideas, help the people behind you, share your knowledge, and trust that what’s for you is for you. Maybe that’s the next article!
In the meantime, I’ll be thinking about these again, and trusting that everyone is rooting for me- because I’m rooting for you!
Or : “What Facing Constant Rejection Has Taught Me About Living”. Acting is an interesting beast–to be great you have to be raw, honest, and vulnerable. However, the process by which you get jobs–auditioning–is about constant rejection, making the whole “be vulnerable” thing a bit hard at times. Ask any actor and we will all tell you that we have a love/hate relationship with audition. At their best, auditions are great; you own the part for at least a moment and you feel so empowered. At their worst, auditions can be a flawed way to match a character with an actor, akin to choosing your starting QB in football based on who scored best on a physics test. Auditioning is in itself a skill-set, one which I like to think I’ve become fairly good at, and the older I get, the more I’ve realized that what’s true in the audition room is true in real life. The best moments come from open, raw, vulnerable things–and facing rejection can be scary. However, if you can work at being great at auditioning some of those lessons have to apply to real life, right? That’s my theory, and the following is what I’ve learned.
Some notes: This list is by no means definitive, there’s a ton more–some of it is so specific to acting that I left it off, some just seemed redundant. If you’re interested in specific acting techniques there are amazing classes and coaches out there–and I would be happy to recommend some! These lessons do bleed into each other, and I tried to be as concise as possible (some of these snippets could probably fill their own book)–but these are things I remind myself of everyday and wanted to share. Also, know that there are times when I have walked into rooms and blown it, was just awful. We all have–to fail is human. I don’t address that case in the following because really the only solution there is to go back on work on your craft and try again. As the saying goes–it doesn’t matter that you fall down, what counts is that you get back up.
But what you should know is:
Everyone in the Room is Rooting For You
Walking into an audition can be completely intimidating. There may or may not be a ton of people in there–some of whom may never acknowledge your presence. You may be taped. You may have to do the sides more than once, you may have to take adjustments, you may be cut off. The good news? Everyone in that room wants you to get the job. They believe in you–or else they wouldn’t have called you in. Don’t believe me? It’s true. The casting director’s job is to find the best candidates to present to the director/producers and they are not going to risk their careers by bringing in people who can’t do the job. The casting director wants you to succeed, because it means they succeeded. The director/producer want you to be a fit so they can move on to the next role or get on set. You doing well means everyone does well. Everyone wants that –and is on your side.
It’s the same in life. Your boss wants your report to be great, your boyfriend/girlfriend wants you to be happy, your friends want you to succeed, even the people in the grocery store want your check out to go well (even if that’s only because it makes their check out go well). People may be out for themselves but the world is not against you; and people are on your side more than you think. Know when you walk into a room people are rooting for you, and if you’re constantly walking into rooms where they aren’t, you may want to reassess what kind of rooms you’re walking into.
Rejection is NOT About You
I know that is hard to hear. Rejection is hard because it FEELS personal. And it can hurt to want something, to work for something and not to get it. I’m not saying not to hurt, or grieve, or even go scream in the woods if you need to. We take rejection personally because we take it as a comment on our worth–what I’m saying is maybe it’s about changing your perception and seeing rejection as a combination of fit and timing, not comments on your worth. Loves, while it can be hard to hear, rejection is 99% fit and timing. In auditioning. In careers. In love. And there are times when that is hard, but often it’s what’s best for us.
A casting director had an analogy that changed my life, and how I take rejection. She explained that casting is like planning a meal. For example, if you’re hosting Thanksgiving you’re considering every aspect-the meat, the appetizer, the sides, the desert. You want it all to go together, to fit, and to use the best in season. So strawberry shortcake may be your favorite desert, and you may know the best strawberry shortcake. But you aren’t going to put in on your Thanksgiving table–it doesn’t fit the meal or the season, the timing isn’t right for it. So if you’re the strawberry shortcake should you be upset? No, it doesn’t mean that you’re “bad”, it means Thanksgiving is not your time. So what do you do? You be the best strawberry shortcake, put it out there, be so good that people can’t forget you, and trust that when the time is right people will put you on the table.
Don’t be Desperate
There is nothing wrong with being passionate, with working hard, with having focus–in fact to be successful you need all those qualities. However, nothing kills a moment faster than trying to hard. A contradiction? Yes, but we all know that look of white-knuckling, forcing things to happen, being so desperate that you’ll do anything–in audition rooms, on dates, in meetings. Loves, more often than not forcing things to happen doesn’t work. There is not a situation in life where being desperate is attractive, in any sense.
Many times we get desperate because we’re thinking ahead, or focusing on things we can’t control. In acting it’s called playing a result, in life we call it not being present. It can often sound like “I have to book this gig so I can be a working actor and pay my bills”. Or “I want to get married and this first date could be the one so I will bring up this/this/that”. “I’m broke and need this to happen so I have to get the promotion or job”. We all can get caught up in this–and I’m not saying to not have goals or look ahead, but a football team can’t win the championship on the first game on the season; they can only win one down at a time.
When I audition my goal is never to book the job–that’s completely out of my control, and as we know comes down to fit and timing. When I audition my job is to show my work–to be good, make a fan and let it go. I cannot control anything else. On a date the goal is to have fun and get to know someone–not to book a wedding venue. Have a job interview? You’re goal is to show how great you are and showcase your skillset–you can’t control getting the job. It is my experience that if I focus on my goal in the moment–be it do a great scene, win a down, or have a good time–it keeps me from being so desperate. And some of the magic is that the more you focus on what you can do in the moment the future takes care of itself.
Be Yourself
I know. That is the most cliched advice in the history of mankind. But it’s true. An actor’s job is to breath life into a character, and that doesn’t come from thin air, but is informed from the actor’s own experiences. We are each unique with our own world views, and when we allow that to bleed into our work magic can happen. It’s true not just in acting: you’re an accountant who happens to be really empathetic? That will inform your work and make you great with clients. A football coach who loves to surf? Balance and timing are needed on the field too. We get caught up in how things should look, or should be (in acting it’s called playing the idea) and we can forget that there is no formula, no way things have to look. So bringing yourself–all of yourself–to your work can only make it better. It’s what people really want. Anyone could just enter numbers or repeat lines. There is something about you that’s special, that can make a job extraordinary; and if you are brave enough to offer up those special parts of yourself you will find that more often that not you get rewarded for it.
Live a Big, Full, Juicy Life
This is part be yourself, part don’t be desperate, part don’t put your worth on one aspect of yourself–or your paycheck. You know the actors that book the most? They’re the ones that have a ton going on, a ton of interests, and a ton of places they could be. That’s not to say that they don’t take acting seriously and work on their craft–but they’d also love to tell you about their family, or charity work, or great book they just read. Acting is not the only thing that defines them, or their worth is tied to, they tend to have a lot that interests them and they pursue all of it. I think this works on multiple levels. As humans we find interested people interesting. As we know, every aspect of yourself can inform your work–and make it deeper. (Music can even make you better at math, it’s proven). And if you have a lot going on, you tend not to be so desperate.
The casting director who preaches this advice makes it specific to actors. Acting is a beast and like all creative fields requires you to put so much of yourself out there and allow yourself to be judged. And there are good years and years where you may not book at all. You can control your acting but there is so much you have no control over–what scripts are optioned, etc. We’ve talked about timing and fit, and it’s true, however, rejection can still be tough. A few years ago I had a week with two big auditions–I lost one as I was “too old and not blonde enough”, I lost the other because I was “too young and too blonde”. Other than hair dye there’s not a lot I can control there. There are tons of Hollywood stories like this (I had a friend cut from a pilot as she reminded the producer of his ex wive whom he hated, it happens); again rejection can be constant and the casting director was making a point that if you’re tying your worth to situations that you don’t have control over, and where rejection is likely, you are setting yourself up for disaster. This is akin to the “be your own soulmate and then your partner gets to be the cherry on top” advice, but I think it holds true. And not just for acting.
Be interested. Pursue whatever makes you happy, even if you don’t earn a paycheck from it. Read what you love, have great friends, travel, anything that makes your heart sing. It will make you a better whatever you are. And those things can sustain you. No matter what, Loves, there are going to be jobs you don’t get, relationships that fail, and things that don’t go your way. And when that happens all these things that you love can still fulfill you.
Let the Ball Fly
No matter how much you prepare, there comes a time when you have to just go for it. In audition rooms things don’t always go the way you plan–and the choice is to white knuckle your choices or take in what’s going on and use it. The latter, in my experience, is always your best bet. This is what your training comes down to–the ability to have grace under pressure, to take what is happening and use it to your best advantage. When things don’t go your way you can either get stuck and freak out about what is going wrong, or you can adjust. Loves, adjust. Just like a QB–no matter how great his coaches are and what play they’ve called, the ball is snapped and he has to read the defense and make a call. He can either freak out about the defense moving, and usually then get sacked or throw an interception. Or he can read the field, find an open man, and let the ball fly. I don’t know about you, but I’m a big fan of the touchdowns (except when my team is playing defense).
There’s so much more advice: don’t apologize for your work or who you are. Be prepared. Be on time. Treat everyone with respect. Know your function in the script and serve it. There are whole classes devoted to how you hold your sides. I could go on forever. But for me, I think it comes down to “do good work and love your life”. Nothing else is within our control.
Wishing us all a week of big, full lives and amazing shoes! XO RA
By date, we still have over half of December left, there are still 14 days until Christmas. So, why does it feel as if anything we’re doing right now is last minute?
Maybe it’s that this year we were all encouraged to shop early due to the supply chain. Maybe it’s that every year the holiday season seems to go faster and faster. I’m not sure. All I know is that while (hopefully at this writing) all the decorations are planned, the meals are set, the shopping is done- so why do I feel like I’m behind?
There’s always more that we can all do (even on the holidays), and the weeks before the holidays intensify those feelings. Right now I’m not only thinking about all I should be doing for the holiday, but for the new year, the first few weeks of the new year- stressing about what I haven’t gotten done and all the things that I should do. It’s beginning to feel all last minute, and a bit stressful.
When I begin to feel that way, these are the steps I take to make sure that I don’t let the last minute stresses get to me (have tips? I’m all ears! The comments are open!)
-Make lists. To do lists. Done lists. What I’m ok with putting off lists. Sometimes seeing the big picture and the steps helps me put into perspective where I should really be putting my energy. Each day I make a must do list, and each night I compare it to my overall to-do list. Time consuming? Maybe? But it keeps me on top of my last minute holiday doings.
-I make peace. Each year I keep thinking that this is the year I’ll have it all together and the holidays will be perfect. And while each year is amazing, there’s always something that is different from my “plans” (for better or for worse). So, I make an effort to not get too attached to my plans, and to make peace with what won’t get done- or what will get done but differently than I thought. Does it help with last minute stress? Yes. Absolutely, as it lets me let go of things.
-I tell people I’m stressed. I know this isn’t what we’re “supposed” to do. Many people consider it uncouth- but truly telling the people that I love that I’m feeling stress from the last minute things I (think) I have to do or feel pressure on helps me. More often than not, my people let me know what I can let go of, what really matters to them, and then we can all adjust. It’s a part of being honest about what I can deliver, but also lets my people be honest about what they need.
These little methods aren’t full proof, there are still times when I feel last minute stress and worry about all the things that happen (good and bad) last minute. However, these things do help me with last minute stress – and getting things done last minute. I would love to know what works for you!
Wishing us all a week of no last minute stress and amazing shoes
Xo RA
This past week my family and I took a short vacation- mainly visiting wineries and museums. It was fun, and hopeful, and made me think that maybe this summer deserves a bucket list. Last year, my summer bucket list was simply to survive. This year? While I’m not sure I’m ready for ALL the things, I am looking forward to doing some of the things.*
*while this recent little trip seemed to ease some of my reopening anxiety, I still have a little bit. Did you miss it? I got honest about my fears here.
Bucket lists, to me, are equally about hopes and plans. Summer is the season that seems to both move the slowest and the fastest for me, and I’m trying to put doable things on my list while remaining flexible (as things both become more open and as my anxiety *hopefully* lessens). Small things, big things, and everything in between: here’s what’s on my summer bucket list so far!
A Pool
Remember last summer when I got a baby pool and it was my favorite thing? It still is, but this year I want to go to a real pool. And swim. And get my hair wet. Lay out. Nap in the sun. Come home smelling like sunscreen and being a little bit sun tired. I don’t know if I will be able to get to a beach (the dream) but I want a lot of pool days.
Reading and Movies
I used to be an avid reader. As in I was averaging at least 2 books a week. I would lose myself in books and stories. Same thing for movies. One of my favorite things used to be “sneaking” off to a matinee and letting the magical world welcome me in. If you follow me on IG you may have seen me say on my stories this week that I’m doing a little detox- mainly as that for my Hot Vaxxed Girl Summer I want to become/recreate/rediscover my best and most fashionable self. And part of that for me is getting back to reading and movies.
Plans
When I sat down to make this bucket list, this is about where I got stuck. In the “before” I used to make plans- for the blog, travel, friends, family. And I would follow through! From lunches to meetings to shoots to holidays. But. After 2020, I’m having a hard time distinguishing between plans (meet my friend’s babies! Go shopping! Meet for lunch! Shoot certain outfits!) and more dreams (take tap dance again! Plan vacations!). There’s no reason why I can’t (and shouldn’t) do both, as well as follow through with them. Yet, it feels a bit overwhelming. I may also still be a little superstitious and I don’t want to plan TOO far ahead. My solution? At least every other week I want to have a plan (meet a friend for lunch, get that dr’s appt booked, take a class, etc). I’m not forcing myself to go big, and letting my plans be a little more flexible than I usually would. Little things, but hopefully leading to big things.
What about you? What’s on your summer bucket list? Are you letting yourself get right back into the swing of things or are you easing in? Tell me all about it!
Wishing us all a week of crossing off bucket lists and amazing shoes! XO RA
Some various contradictions? I don’t think of myself as a writer. A storyteller? Yes. But if asked I’ll tell you that I use fashion to tell my stories. Yet. I write about them. Blog posts, picture captions, the whys, the how’s of all my outfits- I do write. And. Admittedly, I have some bad writing habits. I use the word “amazing” way too often. The thing is many times, many outfits, many amazings are different. I can tell you something is amazing and mean that it fits perfectly or that it makes me feel strong or that it’s a standout. Yes, I need a thesaurus. Or to be more exact.
Our words mean things, and the way we use them means things, and I’ve been thinking about that recently. Yes, Mercury is Retrograde (if you’re into that sort of thing) which is a great time to reasses and review our communication.
What got me thinking about words: how we use them and what we mean, was a friend’s Facebook post. He was posting about his daughter’s graduation and college acceptance. Yes, he was bragging, and yes he should as his daughter is a delight. But. He called her quirky. I truly admire his daughter, she has a strong sense of self as a teenager and doesn’t concern herself with what people “think” she should be doing. I know what her dad meant by quirky was all of that- that she’s self assured and strong in herself and not worried about being a Teen-Movie-Perfect teen. Me? I take quirky to mean all the weird and bad things- if you called me quirky I would assume that you thought I was so strange and almost unlike-able but wanted to be nice about it. Even though words have meanings, we all take different words to mean different things.
So. When we (me) can overuse the same word or when we all have different meanings for the same word, how do we use our words to communicate with each other? I’m still working that out. There are times when I feel as if words are my best friends and writing comes easy; I feel confident that I communicated my words well. Then there are times when I call everything amazing and I’m crossing my fingers that my words are taken in the best way.
In a time when it can be advisable to be intentional with our words, I’m thinking about my words. What I mean and how to be more exact with them. I’m also thinking about other people’s words- and thinking about asking for clarification when I don’t get other’s words- and giving them the benefit of the doubt that they always mean the best things, as I do. I’m pledging to be better with my words, to watch them and to get out my thesaurus when I need it.
How do you use your words?
Wishing us all a week of good communication and amazing shoes! Xo RA
In another life I would have been an art thief– or an art investigator, insurance agent, etc. I am simply fascinated by the value we place on art (it makes the living worthwhile) and the act of stealing art–and the act of recovering that stolen art. My interest began a few years ago when my mom and I began reading novels and non-fiction books about the subject–and I’m just hooked. The Gardner Museum Heist, Nazi theft of art, Monuments Men–all the stories are just spellbinding. So of course I fell in love with the story of Maria Altman who fought the Austrian government to reclaim the portrait of her aunt, Adele Bloch-Bauer, painted by Gustav Klimt and stolen by the Nazis.
The movie got lukewarm reviews–but I loved it. I think what happened during WWII was horrific, but these are stories that we need to tell over and over again. The Holocaust was not only a mass murder of a people; it was a theft of people’s culture, homes, memories and was orchestrated by the Nazi government. I have jewelry, dishes, artwork in my home that are made special because those things belonged to my grandparents or were family heirlooms. I can’t imagine those items being stolen from off of my walls or off of my tables because of my religion. As much as the stories of the Nazis stealing from people can be down right upsetting, I found comfort in the justice that Marie Altman’s story contains. Art does make life bearable. While we can have debates about who owns what and museum’s roles in the care of art, in this particular case (and others like it) I don’t think that anyone can argue that the surviving families of the Holocaust, or those whose possessions were stolen by Nazis, should have their belongings returned.
So see the movie! Tell me what you think! I also read the book (pictured above)–it goes into way more detail, and also made me long to go to the opera in Vienna (I have shoes that would look great there). Also, because any excuse to shop, the Neue Galerie in New York (where Adele’s portrait now hangs) is selling this specialty lipstick set inspired by the painting. Of course I bought one and of course I love it!
Wishing you a week of amazing art, some history lessons, and of course fabulous fashion!
