Before anything I am so sorry we didn’t get a post up on Monday- that was total oversize due to:
So there is a chance I jinxed myself. I mentioned to a friend that I almost needed to get sick for a break, and that maybe it was a good reset. And then. Well. I got sick. Since Sunday I have been running fever on and off and throwing up. Plus all the aches. I don’t think I am super sick- but I am sick.
(note: being sick while your house is under construction is not fun at all! I do not recommend).
I am sick enough that moving from bed is an issue and a lot is on hold. Friday I will post some stories I love- and then we are crossing our fingers we are back- and even having gotten a little reset on Sunday.
I have written so often about routines, and being behind and burnout as these are truly things that I struggle with. This week I went to write AGAIN about how I am struggling with some burnout, some issues making and sticking to a routine, and all the things associated with all of that. Then, I worried that I was a broken record. And then I wondered- I am a self aware person. I know what I am struggling with, often why, and changes that could help. So, why hasn’t anything I know or tried to change stuck?
What happens when the things you want to change take time to stick?
Another super fun thing about me? I am not always patient. In times like these when I am aware of a need to change : my schedule, stop procrastinating, a need for rest, etc; I somehow think that change will be quick (and easy). When, in reality, I know sometimes changes take time, you have to make them over and over, and that sticking to anything takes time. Change is hard. Getting over burnout is hard. To any friend (including you!) I would tell you (and truly believe) that sometimes we get in slumps, ruts, overtired, patterns we don’t like and knowing that change is a process to have grace with yourself and as long you’re trying you’ll get there. That grace with sticking it and time? For some reason I don’t always have it for myself.
It’s one of those times when what’s known and what you expect are disconnected from each other. And as self aware and knowing as I am? I don’t have answers. There are changes and patterns I would like to change, and routines I would like to stick to- all while being my best and most fashionable self. Recently, a dear one reminded me that we all have times in life that dip, slump, shake things up and it’s more about being patient and graceful while you get out of it. This season for me hasn’t been my favorite, but on the other hand, I am more sure of the things I want, and how I want my days to look.
Knowing all of that, is it possible to take time to make it stick? To give myself the leeway and grace, patience and support that sticking to changes needs? Maybe the only way to find out is to stick to things- even when sticking to things takes time.
What things do you feel as if you have to do over and over again to make them stick? What is your advice to making changes that stick (quickly!)? I would love to hear all about it!
Wishing us all a week of sticking to it and amazing shoes! XO RA
Recently I got (was gifted but that does not affect my opinions) special pieces from Abbott Lyon. From the high quality to the personalization- I can’t get over how much I love these pieces and how these pieces add to my day to day. My favorite is the charm necklace (made for my cats, as I have become that cat lady!) that lets me take my loves with me everywhere! And you can treat yourself of someone you love by getting 2 for 1 site wide with code LTK2for1. Below I am linking my faves but the whole site of Abbott Lyon is a must!
What do you love to wear in your day to day? XO RA
Note: This post does contain affiliate links, while that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!
We are dark here for the US holiday (though you can always shop with me! Links to the side!) Though- I am still working (and shopping)– today we get walls and painting done– and at this point I am excited to share all of the new when it gets done.
I hope that today is not just a Monday for you- but full of sales and shoes and all the good!
As an actress, I’m sure that it’s no surprise to you that I’ve lied about my age at times. (Yep, the youngest you think I am- that’s it!) Age is an issue in our society. Especially as a woman. And I wish I could tell you that aging is not something that I worry about, that I just see aging as a privilege (because it is!), and I never let age affect any of my choices- fashion or otherwise.
But.
That wouldn’t be honest. The weird thing? I’m more confident the older I get. I’m more accepting of myself, I’m ok with my own needs and stating them, and while when I was younger there were things that I wore and did that I didn’t think twice about- there are things I would do and wear now with so much more confidence (which feels like I’m repeating myself- but maybe I’m so old I can’t think of another word!).
Here’s the thing. Youth is great, it does have that glow and it gives you an edge for some things. Age also can be great, and it has its own edge. I have loved being young and there are things I’m loving about being old. However.
I’m not 100% sure I know how to grow old graciously. Or dress for my age. Or not try too hard (another huge sin that would be another post). My mom and dad have both said that one of the weird things about aging is that you’re all your ages at once, from 17-70. They’re not the first to say that and I’m no where near 70. But I get it. Funny enough, if you were to ask me- from fashion to other choices- I would tell you to make the choice that makes you feel great, that you feel comfortable in, that brings you joy. I love IG and more accounts of “older” women, I love my own fashion sense, I have no issue with so many things.
So. Why is there this occasional voice in my head warning, worrying, and get worked up about being too old- to wear certain outfits. Example: I love this take on a shirt and pleated skirt. You could absolutely play with the length of the shirt- or layer a cardigan or blazer over. Yet. And I hate asking this- but am I too old for outfits like this?
I love this outfit. In my 20s I wouldn’t have worn it as I was so self conscious. And even being older- knowing the crop doesn’t HAVE to be that short, and that the waist of the skirt (if high enough) can cover a lot, I would love to wear something like this. Am I too old? Would I be judged for doing so? Would be seen as yet another woman desperately trying to cling to youth?
This is what I think constantly and at the same time I hate thinking it. And I have no answers. I’ve asked friends who told me that it would be fine to wear, I would tell friends and you that it’s fine to wear- so why do I worry about being too old?
And while this blog (and post) are so fashion focused, it’s not just fashion where I worry about being too old. It’s the beginning (early or not) of the holiday season. And I love holidays. From Halloween costumes to cooking at Thanksgiving to believing in Santa (his whole purpose is magic and presents- what’s not to believe?!), I enjoy the magic and the holiday feelings that come this time of year. Then. I’m not a mom, I’m a VERY fun Auntie. Am I too old to get into things the way I do?
IF I am too old for all of this- from holidays to outfits, what’s the answer? Do we grow smaller? Give up parts of ourselves? Or is this all a worry that we only think of- remember no one else judges us like we do! I truly have no idea. This isn’t some place where I have big thoughts because, really and truly, I’m figuring this out as I go along- usually day by day.
I want to be the kind of confident that wears what I feel good in and brings me joy, and gives myself fully to experiences. I’m still battling the voice in my head that says I’m too old for certain things (and I think the hard thing is that I do think some things are too young for me– which may also be a completely different post!).
Do you deal with this voice in your head- do you worry about being too old? How do you deal with it? And do we think I should wear this outfit? I want to hear your thoughts!!
Wishing us a week of ageless confidence and amazing shoes!! XO RA
Also! Happy Valentine’s Day! From Date Night to Self Love to Galentine’s: I hope that you are surrounded by all the love in all the ways you need it!
I want to pretend like it’s all wine and roses here- but truly we are under construction. As in literally my house is under construction.
No kitchen.
The walls may be done today- yes- while you read this! We are so far from where we have been and with this unexpected renovation, and upgrade. Both great and awful- it’s a lot. Like A LOT.
Every time I think I have things under control and a plan there is a wrench.
Maybe a metaphor for life?
Or maybe the question- that I am currently grappling with-is : how do we live while we are under construction?
And yet- I can’t help but yet again to turn to Fashion. This time it’s a vintage gold and silk scarf-
Did I mention that there are oh so many ways to wear this?
And a black silk skirt?
And a gold lip ring?
I was originally was gonna edit the pictures- yes, sometimes I edit out background and etc. I do not edit me- even when I hate how I look. I do choose a pic that may be my best angles. But it’s all me.
And Frankly? Me? Perhaps I am under construction too. From habits to a life to who I really want to be? Perhaps that is (it is) under construction. And when a construction is in your face? maybe you go with it!
But also. We are under construction. I keep writing and telling about it. But. yeah. I can’t deny that my environment – aka a construction zone- is influencing me
(this is me letting you know from outfits to my habits I am looking at all of me. What’s under construction and what is aok? It is awkward and hard but also a bit rewarding. And this outfit? I think we can only go up!)
So this skirt is seasons old. The scarf? Tied as a top? Vintage. And yet? I found you options! It’s almost like we are constantly under construction. Options that feel as if they are new? Are vintage? What if we thought about our construction as an on going project instead of a destination? (Again, just me wanting things to be true)
And yet. With dust. And painting. And construction. Here I am. Maybe that is the true fashion.
(note: options for you are linked below)!
Here’s to us all being fab and construction finishing! XO RA
Note: this post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!
This week was Mary Quant’s “would have been” Birthday- and as the queen of miniskirts we can’t help but celebrate her!
As you may have heard, legendary UK designer Mary Quant passed last week at 93 years young. Quant was known (predominantly in the 1960s) for her use of color blocking, championing the mini skirt, and styling with patterned tights. Mary Quant dressed Twiggy and other “mod” models and stars- as well as everyone in the 1960s and beyond that were ready for “new” and “modern”!
Every time there is a designer who has affected how I dress (and I have been known to rock color blocking and mini skirts!) I love knowing about them-so here is all about Mary Quant, and how she still inspires how we dress today.
Dame Barbara Mary Quant (11 February 1930 – 13 April 2023) was a British fashion designer and fashion icon. She became an instrumental figure in the 1960s London-based Mod and youth fashion movements, and played a prominent role in London’s Swinging Sixties culture. She was one of the designers who took credit for the miniskirt and hotpants. Ernestine Carter wrote: “It is given to a fortunate few to be born at the right time, in the right place, with the right talents. In recent fashion there are three: Chanel, Dior, and Mary Quant.”
Mary Quant was born to school teachers, who originally dissuaded her love of fashion and pursuing that career. Quant studied illustration and art education at Goldsmiths College for which she received a degree in 1953. In pursuit of her love for fashion, after finishing her degree, she was apprenticed to Erik Braagaard, a high-class Mayfair milliner on Brook Street next door to Claridge’s hotel. “Good taste is death,” Mary Quant once famously said. “Vulgarity is life.”
Quant did not like clothes as they were in the 1950s. She saw the tight, corseted silhouettes popularized by high fashion houses like Dior as too limiting. They didn’t make sense for young women coming of age in the second wave of feminism. Instead, Quant wanted clothes that reflected the pleasure of being alive. When she couldn’t find that in stores, she decided to make it herself with fabrics bought from Harrods.
Quant initially sold clothing sourced from wholesalers in her new boutique in the Kings Road named Bazaar. The bolder pieces in her collection started garnering more attention from media like Harper’s Bazaar, and an American manufacturer purchased some of her dress designs. Because of this attention and her personal love for these bolder styles, she decided to take designs into her own hands. Initially working solo, she was soon employing a handful of machinists; by 1966 she was working with a total of 18 manufacturers. A self-taught designer inspired by the culture-forward “Chelsea Set” of artists and socialites, Quant’s designs were riskier than standard styles of the time. Quant’s designs revolutionised fashion from the utilitarian wartime standard of the late 1940s to the energy of the 1950s and 1960s’ cultural shifts. She stocked her own original items in an array of colours and patterns, such as colourful tights.
Quant’s impact did not just come from her unique designs; in her boutique she created a special environment, including music, drinks, and long hours that appealed to young adults. This environment was unique for the industry, as it differentiated from the stale department stores and inaccessible high-class designer store environments that had a hold of the fashion market. Her window displays with models in quirky poses brought a lot of attention to her boutique, where people would often stop to stare at the eccentric displays. She stated that “Within 10 days, we hardly had a piece of the original merchandise left.”
For a while in the late 1950s and early 1960s, Quant was one of only two London-based high-class designers consistently offering youthful clothes for young people. The other was Kiki Byrne, who opened her boutique on the King’s Road in direct competition with Quant.
In 1966, Quant was named one of the “fashion revolutionaries” in New York by Women’s Wear Daily, alongside Edie Sedgwick, Tiger Morse, Pierre Cardin, Paco Rabanne, Rudi Gernreich, André Courrèges, Emanuel Ungaro, Yves Saint Laurent and Baby Jane Holzer.
Quant can be seen as an early example of turning a fashion label into a brand. She designed her logo, a black and white daisy, in the 1950s, which went on to appear on packaging for her clothes. A cheaper line, the Ginger Group, launched in 1963, as well as tights and a successful makeup line. Mary Quant Cosmetics, launched in 1966, was her calling card even as attention on her clothes waned. The cosmetics line remains in existence.
In recent years, the designer has appeared on the radar of a younger generation. A 2019 exhibition at the V&A was the first in 50 years and included 35 pieces sourced from a public call-out. This was followed in 2021 with a documentary, Quant, directed by Sadie Frost, featuring names including Vivienne Westwood, Kate Moss and Edward Enninful. Her friend Jasper Conran summed up her legacy best: “Mary Quant is, without a doubt, one of the most important British designers ever.”
When learning about her death, several stars of the 19060s had this to say about Mary Quant:
1960s fashion icon Twiggy, whose real name is Lesley Lawson posted on Instagram: “Mary Quant was such an influence on young girls in the late 50s early 60s. She revolutionised fashion and was a brilliant female entrepreneur.
“The 1960s would have never been the same without her.
Fellow fashion designer Sir Paul Smith said she was a “brave innovator who was constantly modern, willing to shock and blessed with a business and personal partner [Greene] who could help turn her ideas into reality.”
Photographer and model Pattie Boyd tweeted that Dame Mary had made her and her first husband George Harrison’s coats when they wed in 1966. “A true icon,” she said as she shared a photo of the wedding day.
I can look at my closet and see the mini skirts, the patterned tights, and color blocking. And upon reading about Mary Quant (not just knowing about her fashion), and seeing how her philosophy and attitudes towards fashion are so similar to my own, and it made me love her.
One of my favorite quotes? In the 1985 Thames TV interview, Quant also mused, “Fashion is about life. It’s about everything…I think fashion anticipates. It seems to get there first and everything unravels behind it.” Quant was also there first, and the viral mini skirts of today certainly wouldn’t have been possible without her.
Here’s to mini skirts, to loving what you’re wearing and marking your own path! And to Mary Quant!
When any designer I loves passes, I have a (I refuse to feel guilty for my pleasures) pleasure of looking up their designs that I can buy. Below I’ve linked a few Mary Quant pieces that I love- from tights to outfits. You can find so so many more on the GEM app (I get no commission from that, it’s just a great resource for any and all vintage shopping!). I would love to know about your Mary Quant fashion stories!
XO RA
Note: The following are affiliate links. That does not increase the price for you, but I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!
We are getting there- this week my house may get walls, painting may start- and we should be on our way to not having so much chaos. There are days when it is completely overwhelming and I feel as if I will never get my life together. Literally, a sentence I said aloud today was “One day I will have clean hair again”. (Note: a bun hides a lot!)
Then there are days when I am able to enjoy this time- even relish the excitement and the new.
On the days like the first, it can be hard to think straight- much less get dressed. And yes- there are days I am simply in sweats. However, to the surprise of no one, I find when I make myself get dressed days like the second come easier.
This look? Perhaps a bit over the top- but I love it. Leopard is a neutral, but having it in sequins makes so much of a statement. And! I have to let you know- I am not great at laundry, but that may change as this new washer/dryer is my new favorite thing. EVER. It works so well- and everything from my bedding to gym clothes come out so clean! (Did I also mention that as we were without a washer/dryer I haven’t done laundry since mid-December? Only 4 more loads to go!)
My goal this week? Have great days, laugh- and wear things that make me happy. Like sequins. This dress is vintage Lillie Rubin but I have found you modern options! And I am linking the washer/dryer as I can’t tell you how they have changed my life, and how amazing they work!
To enjoying it all! XO RA
This post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!
I’ve been redoing my closet- aka making a room into a closet. As well as deep cleaning and redoing parts of the house. This is on top of the house construction. Am I part of the problem? Maybe! Things have not been going to plan. It’s taking longer, it’s been hard to build shelves, things are in disarray. Yesterday a rolling rack I put together collapsed- sending party dresses flying and shoes falling on me head. I had no choice but- ask for help and admit that my house might not be perfect for a bit- and I’ll have to work around that. So I went back to thoughts and ways that help me- someone who hates asking for help and wants to be perfect- when things aren’t perfect.
Loves, Happy Weekend! As you may know, I can be a perfectionist. I hold myself to a high standard, which manifests itself in various ways. I can have a great work ethic and produce things that are amazing. I can be paralyzed by the fear that things won’t be perfect and procrastinate, making sure that the “product” won’t be perfect (but I’ll have an excuse!). I can pick myself apart. I can admire other people’s work. Like most other perfectionists, I can tell you that it’s a great thing to want to hold yourself to a standard of excellence, but can tell you perfectionism is also an insercurity and an attempt to protect yourself. So, it’s great and not great. And one of the hardest lessons is how to move forward, do work, and be happy when it’s (whatever it is) not perfect. Loves, nothing is ever perfect (and yes, that’s hard for me to say), so how do we handle this?
I believe that this is where many people would tell you it’s the effort that counts, that good enough is good, and as perfection is an unattainable standard you do your best and be happy. Yes, all of that is true. It is still stunning to me how hard that is for me to at times accept. So how do I handle it? Loves, if we’re in the trust tree I have to let you know that the answer is not always well. I can waste time, money, and self peace in an attempt to “perfect” a project. And what I can tell you is that those things are not always worth it. So my new methods?
Give Myself Time
I’m finding if I can do posts/projects/etc early, spend some time away from them and come back, I’m either a-ok with what’s happened or I can “fix” it in a more productive manner. It’s the break that lets me have some space, and somehow that helps. And those times when I don’t have the time for that? I let go as best I can.
Mind Shift: vulnerable is more likable
There is something in my head that says that being perfect is the way to be liked (as broad as that can mean). It’s taking a lot of work, and a lot of more work, to discover that the best, real moments are the ones when I’m vulnerable. Does that mean that I don’t do my best? No. But it means I’m trying to not kill myself when I don’t have all the answers or something isn’t 180%. An acting coach of mine once told me that the audience wants to love you for all the things you’re embarrassed to show them. While this may not relate to every situation, I think it is true. Our humanness is raw and not perfect, but it’s beautiful.
Ask a loved one
When it’s hard for me to see that our humanness is beautiful I’m learning to ask someone I trust for their opinion. Often, their critique is not half as bad as my own. We could chat a whole other Chronicles on how hard it can be to ask for help, but I find another’s perspective is often what I need to end my manic pursuit of “perfect”.
Loves, this list is by no means complete, and it is by no means easy. It’s a process, and I’m learning. I’m striving to see that perfect is a great goal, but when I laser eye it, I miss so much. I’m learning that good is beautiful, and failures can be fun. I’m trying to be honest in my struggles and in my strive for perfection, be happy with great.
Are you a perfectionist? How do you deal with it?
Wishing us all a week of beautiful good and amazing shoes! XO RA
By now the Met Gala, theme of Rei Kawakubo, has come and long gone–you probably had an opinion about the red carpet, and may agree with me that Rhianna won it (just because she stuck to the theme). Or it may be a faint memory (in all of the Met Galas since). While we could chat Met Gala, themes, red carpets and Rhianna’s style, you may have a great grasp on those. What you may not have is a wide understanding of Rei Kawakubo, her designs, and her label Comme des Garçons. Loves, you should know. Kawakubo and Comme des Garçons are fashion in its highest form, and I don’t mean that you’ll find the perfect LBD; but in the sense that clothing will be playful, fantastical, experiment with shape, form, and gender roles, push boundaries, and be a calling to something higher.
Comme des Garçons and Kawakubo are known for original designs, big shapes, non-genderconforming designs, and mixing tailored pieces with corsets. The first few collections were done in only black, white and gray; and the runway shows to this day are more performance art than collection presentation. Comme des Garçons were the first to present designs that seem conventional now: unfinished hems, asymmetry, black, overblown and deconstructed silhouettes; what we wear today holds a debt of gratitude to these collections that read more like poetry than a standard runway. Kawakubo is known for playing with these themes:
-absence/presence
-design/not design
-fashion/anti-fashion
-model/multiple
-high/low
-then/now
-self/other
-object/subject
-clothes/not clothes
These these run through every collection and are on view in the 150 outfits on view at the Met.
Rei Kawakubo was born in Tokyo in 1942, the oldest of 3 and the only girl.After college she took a job in advertising/textiles, but also worked as a freelance stylist. With no design background, Kawakubo started her line in 1973, opening her first boutique in Toyko in 75. Comme des Garçons grew, adding a men’s line in 78, presenting in Paris in 81, and opening a Paris boutique in 82. Kawakubo now splits time between Paris and Toyko. Known for powerful and directional design that’s been called “radical abandonment of conventions” and “stunningly audacious”. Kawakubo not only dares to rework the relationship of clothes to the body, she involves herself in all business aspects from graphic design to advertising to shop interiors. However, Rei Kawakubo is till thought of as a recluse, an extreme introvert who keeps to herself; even though she is a fashion icon, she doesn’t think of herself that way.
Kawakubo and Comme des Garçons have inspired all aspects of fashion, as well as sub labels such as Junya Watanbe, Tao Kurihara, and Comme des Garçons Tricot. There are also several collaborations Comme des Garçons participated in including ones with :Fred Perry, Converse, Speedo, Nike, Moncler, Lacoste, Cutler and Gross, Chrome Hearts, Louis Vuitton, H&M, and Supreme (all of which might be found on a luxury resale site or eBay). Much of what we wear or think is cool is owed to Kawakubo.
Shocked that someone who is a self admitted shy girl can design clothes that make such loud statements? I’m not. Isn’t that part of the fun of fashion? It speaks for us, when we can’t? In fact my favorite quote about Kawakubo comes from Paul Gaultier, who said:
“I believe that Kawakubo is a woman with extreme courage. She is a person with exceptional strength. Moreover, she has a poetic spirit. When I see her creations, I feel the spirit of a young girl. A young girl who still has innocence and is a bit romantic. Yet she also has an aspect of a fighting woman, one who fears nothing as she thrusts forward.”
If your clothes can say all that, what else is left to say?
I’d love to know: what are your thoughts on Rei Kawakubo and the Met Gala?
