It’s the Day of the eclipse! Which depending on ALOT may be BIG things for you (change, etc) or it may just be another natural phenomenon. I am in between- I don’t think there is some huge meaning, but I do think it’s a bit cool and a bit exciting. We are supposed to get some full totality looks, but it is also supposed to be cloudy here today–so I guess we’ll see!
I am currently more interested in why we get excited about things such as this eclipse. We are told from every angle how much we control so much of our lives- so why do we all get excited at some event causing complete change? Is it because we want to believe in something bigger than us? Do we feel out of control as if there are things we can’t help?
And. Then. So importantly- what do we wear to a life changing event? Do we dress up? Embrace our day to day? I’ve gone through many different outfits in my head- and I have no idea what’s best!
I guess on both fronts we will have to see (and at least on the outfit front I will report back!)
Here’s hoping whatever happens today that it’s exciting in all the good ways- and that our outfits are on point!!
Ironically I’m right back in this place again. Part of my closet that I designed collapsed – it was my fault! I didn’t screw a rod in! But it’s sent me into disarray. And again, I’m needing tweaks in my scheduled and to clean- and redo my closet. Weirdly, while it can feel not great to be at certain place again, it feels a bit reassuring to know that I have been here before- and made it. So. I will make it again. Does it ever bring you comfort that you have done things before so you know you can do it again?
I’m finally- finally- turning a room in my house into a full closet for me. A long time wish/goal/want- and great for not only business but my clothes! At first, when the decision was made and I began to clear out and rearrange my closets and furniture, I truly thought the process would take a 1 day, maybe 2 at most. We’re currently 2 weeks into this- what I know will be worth it- redo (and yes, we’re redoing other rooms and I have multiple work and other obligations too) and it’s at the point where we’re a mess.
There are clothes I can’t get to, clothes I can’t see. Rooms I can’t walk in. There are days I’ve spent dirty and worried that even with a plan and a vision that I’ve done nothing but made a mess. And maybe I have. But here’s the thing: sometimes making a mess is the only way to move forward.
While that’s perhaps not a novel thought, as it seems that everyone a big change in my life happens- from moves to jobs to well, anything- it’s a lesson that feels new each time. My life is kind of a mess right now. Starting with my rooms and my closet and my house. It’s not that I can’t see how things will get better, but often when cleaning and rearranging, you do actually have to make a mess first. Science? Or just a fact that you have to get everything out then get it back in.
In the mess of all of this, I have started a new day job. *** I’m still dealing with family grief from a loss this summer. And, as we all say, am trying to keep up with our health and social lives and all the thing.If you tell me you never struggle with time management I’ll laugh! Especially at times like these- I have the feeling if I had a few days with absolutely NO other obligations or worries that the closet redo would be done so quickly and easily. But- how do you get a few days with NOTHING?
When it’s done, I can’t wait to show you my closet. OR new closet space. Yes- I think making a specific space for anything that you need- from a closet to an office to a hobby room to a gym- is a brave thing and a must. (If we’re gonna thrive we need places for it!) But the process is messy. Daily I’m reminded that the way up is to make the mess, then clean it up. Make the mess then clean it up.
There are so many times and things in life that this applies to. And that is both uncomfortable and comforting. Usually when we make changes in life- from those we don’t want to those we do-there’s a mess made before we put ourselves back together. From breakups to moves to job changes to glow ups and everything in between, I’ve found this to be true. Has mess ever been easier to deal with? Not really.
That’s a thing I’m working on. Currently, I’m trusting that the mess I’m making will end up in the best (or maybe better!) of my plans. Because to clean or build we gotta be a little messy, right?
How do you deal with the mess that comes before a redo or a break through? Any tips are appreciated!
Wishing us all a week of cleaning up messes and amazing shoes! XO RA
*** Very much a side note, and probably a whole other article. I’ve always been embarrassed about having day jobs. Yet, as they say, Gucci doesn’t buy itself. I LOVE my fashion work- and think it’s part of my calling. I LOVE acting- and think it’s part of my calling. And yet. Those industries have never paid out on a regular basis for me. So I do other jobs too. Perhaps that keeps me young? Skill sets fresh? Whatever way, I’m working on accepting that day jobs are a part of this wonderful journey!***
In all of the trends and all of the things there are always things we are a bit skeptical of. I-even as someone who will tell you that I am in fashion- am immune to. This season? It’s barrel (or curve) jeans). Sometimes, let’s just be honest, it’s s bit intimidating to style an unknown- even if the unknown is just to you. For example, this season its barrel leg (or curve leg like these exact jeans!). It’s a take on wide leg that’s a bit exaggerated- and perhaps a bit intimidating. As in-how do we style a leg that is supposed to and is designed to bow out?
My take? To play with proportions!
(Note: There are so many takes on this curve.barrel trend you could take. On the pairs I’ve invested in? I’m getting my true size- as I feel as if you get too oversized they just look baggy and while a new thing for me I kinda like the curve leg! These exact jeans and other options are linked for you below!)
My take with any proportion that feels BIG or SMALL is to play with it. Or to balance it. AKA – how can you match or mismatch the proportions to find a sweet spot that not only makes you feel comfortable but makes your outfit feel even. Some basic examples may be a low cut top with a slightly longer skirt (or the inverse), or in this case a bit of wide or curved jeans that might be balanced in a tighter top.
In this case- curved (slight barrel jeans) with a corset top (and this in in particular felt like the corsets from couture week (and the tassels!) and the tight with the loose? (Obviously in generic terms) It’s so great. And chic. And made me feel so elevated.
Sometimes- and this is a me thing- I think we get scared of proportions. We want to be the stream lined or best lined version. Or just me? So s trend that goes against that – barrel leg, curve, wide leg- can be scary!! I’m with you! But what if the “new” silhouette was just an opportunity to play! Can we pair a tight top with flowing bottoms? Should we mix and match coverage on our fashion? Or should we play with our proportions from big to small to anteing in between?
In of that, I am a fan. Perhaps our proportions are just there for us to play and experiment and pair all sorts of big and small (fitted or non fitted) items together. Should we try to contrast? Should we match sizes (for lack of a better word)? I know that I have loved a bit of proportion play in that I love pairing a bit more form fitting top with a flared bottom. Or perhaps a loose top with tight pants Balance. Or a bit of proportion play.
I love this take on paring a tight with a loose- or however you want to interpret proportion play. How do you play with promotions? What would you like to see?
There is a future post about barrel leg jeans- so if that’s something you’re curious about I would say-PLAY! You could also size up and just let them be baggy! (IF you have specific questions please don’t hesitate to reach out!)
These exact jeans and similar tops and shoes are linked below. Let’s play with our proportions, shall we?! XO RA
There are certain designers so infamous that they have their own cult following, on top of the fame that the brand demands. Ossie Clark is one of them; I have a girlfriend and we spend a good chunk of our weeks DMing Ossie Clark pictures to each other on Instagram. His designs are that iconic, swoon worthy, and shareable.
What should you know about Ossie Clark? That he designed for the rich and famous? That he’s considered responsible for “bohemian” dresses? The Swinging Sixties? That he’s the English answer to YSL? Yes, all of that, and more.
Ossie was born Raymond Clark in England, 1942. He began making clothes for dolls and the neighborhood girls before he was 10. Through the encouragement of the art teacher at this school, Ossie found fashion; and poured over the Vogue and Bazaar his teacher gave him. Ossie also studied architecture, and the fundamentals of proportion, height, and volume would become paramount to his career as a fashion designer. After his basic schooling, Ossie studied at the Regional College of Art in Manchester. (Note, Ossie’s commute to school was so long his mother gave him pills to stay awake, beginning Ossie’s life long struggle with drug use). During his college days at Manchester, he met and fell in love with Celia Birtwell, and became great friends with David Hockney. Both relationships would be profoundly important in Ossie’s life.
After completing school in Manchester, Ossie attended the Royal College of Art in London. Here, Ossie used the influences of pop art and Hollywood Glamour to design a line (first carried by Woodlands 21). Ossie’s career was then on the fast track, he got his first feature in Vogue in August of 65; and was asked by Alice Pollock to be the co-designer at Quorum. Ossie partnered with his muse, and future wife, Celia Birtwell, who did the prints/fabrics while Ossie did the designing/cutting/patterns. Ossie Clark became synonymous with free following, prints, muted colors, crepe fabrics, snakeskin jackets; as well as the celebrities he dressed: Bianca Jagger (her wedding dress), the Beatles, Marianne Faithful, Liza Minnelli, among others.
When you think of Sixities Fashion you may think mod-the miniskirts, the shifts, the go-go boots. Ossie changed that. He designed to flatter a woman’s body. As the Telegraph put it:
“The square cut, mini shift dresses that projected an adolescent, coltish figure, all knees and elbows, gave way to a sinuous shape lines that celebrated women’s curves. The typical Clark gown boasted the sensuousness of the female form: the arched small of the back, the rounded haunch, an impossibly long neck, a rangy thigh, all slip sliding against satin or matte jersey.”
What I think of when I think of an Ossie Clark piece are the details: buttons, sleeves that puff or flare, the illusion of floating but the impeccable tailoring, the feel that the piece could be from the 40s, 70s, or today. Ossie Clark designs are a true collectors item, and make the woman wearing it look exquisite.
Ossie Clark was a “true” artist and creative: obsessed with art and music, not great at business ends, and he was given to bouts of depression (made worse by his drug use). His clothes and line were groundbreaking in many ways: they changed the shape of fashion, his was the first line to feature black models in their runway shows (in the UK), and his love life was the source of great joy and sorrow. Ossie married Celia Birtwell (they would have 2 kids, which by all accounts were the loves of his life), and when they divorced it ruined Ossie in many ways. His line went in and out of bankruptcy; the 70s gave way to Punk Rock and Vivenne Westwood, making Ossie obsolete. He had love affairs with both men and women, and finally seemed to be pulling himself together cutting patterns for Ghost Label, when he was stabbed to death by an ex-lover in 1996.
While his life read like the Hollywoof movies he so loved, what we should take away from Ossie Clark is the love and joy that he put into his collections. You can find Ossie Clark on Etsy, 1stDibs and many high end vintage dealers. The price may be high, but if you get an Ossie, you’re getting a true work of art!
You know, you know-I have a thing for dots. In fact, I have never met a polka dot I didn’t love. And this spring? Shorts are in (I know, they are always in but this year they are IN) so I couldn’t resit a dotted set. The black and white keep it a bit classic, even with the shorts (more thoughts on those below). What I can’t resist here? Pairing this very classic black and white with a pop of red. The red is a simple pop of color, but the combo of red and black and white is a classic set all on its own.
To me this was the classic set, a must have- and it also felt a bit daring. Here are the usual caveats: sets are great as you can wear them together or apart in every way under the sun. Dots are my favorite pattern and I can’t resist dots in a classic black and white combo. And I love, love love adding red to the mix! It’s a pop of color that is a classic as well!
This is where I get a little personal and let you know that I did worry that these shorts were too short. And that I was too old for them. I hate thinking that-I hate these thoughts that come across my mind now and again as we age. Ironically? I would tell you if you asked me that age is just a number and if it something that you love, you should wear it. That too old is not something to worry about when you get dressed. (I know hem length is a personal issue and won’t go down that hole with us!)
Yet. When it comes to me? Even in a red and black and white set that I find so chic and so me- and fits so well? I worried about the being old thing. (And being too short! And worst of all the combo that I was too old and they were too short and I was trying too hard!) Why can’t we by friends to ourselves and support ourselves like we would support our friends? I have no answers, this is something I clearly struggle with. What I do know is that this set was so me, I couldn’t let a little insecurity stop me from wearing it. Which is great- as this is what I want to wear all season!
This set is actually from Zara (Shirt and Shorts (you can always size up to your comfort level! I did in the shorts but love that they are so high waisted!). Yes, I have mixed feelings about ordering from Zara but the set does feel good! I’ve also linked some similar options for you below.
Have thoughts about dots or pops of red or how not to worry about your age? I am all ears!
XO RA
Note: This post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!
A spring pastel that I can get behind? Lavender. Just spring enough. Just daring enough.
Here I love the cowl collar I love that this dress feels fresh but is just easy to throw on. I love the gold clash. The storm? Was a bit a luck.
And this back? I love it. It’s a bit more than I would usually do (yes. I know I have some marks from old injuries- we all have things we are hiding!)
Maybe the song is right, maybe we should all stay in the lavender haze.
Some notes:
This dress is not new- I have been waiting till my back looked better to wear it- though I have to say acceptance is a lesson of its own. I kinda love it paired with boots (though any maxi dress especially in a lavender color would look amazing with any show from sandals to heels to wedges). A dress like this could absolutely be dressed down. Dressed up.
Perhaps this post is a bit less about their exact outfit and a bit more about how to dress in colors that make you feel great and bring you joy. You should. A bit about how to let go of what others think and your perceived or not flaws and find that you can love anything you put on- as long as you love it.
Note. Those are not easy lessons and things to deal with. I am constantly struggling – not only with these lessons but writing with them and how to deal with my own ego.
Maybe the lasting message is staying in our own lavender haze is fantastic- and whatever makes us feel great there is something we should take with us.
I have linked options including these amazing boots that I can’t stop pairing with everything.
XO RA
Note: This post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!
During the “lockdowns” I began to watch Golden Girls and Murder She Wrote, among other classics on the regular. (There is a whole other article and thought process about those shoes and the Guest Stars!) Whenever I get really into a show, I can’t help but let it influence my fashion- fashion is stories after all and so are our favorite tv shows. Ironically? Since Then? A Matter of Age? I have fallen a bit in love with a skirt suit.
Let’s be clear. I LOVE LOVE LOVE a great suit. I’ve never worked a job that required one. And a skirt suit? It’s a bit old fashioned- but on the other hand a bit forward and so daring. Yes, you can break up these “sets”- wear separately, update, make edgy- all of the things. Yet, I can’t help but be so attracted to – and start collecting skirt suits. Which, now, feel a bit edgy on their own!
This polka dot number (and we know I can never resist a polka dot) is a Fortuny number. For reference Fortuny is both a type of pleat, a a fabric and was a label. You can read more here, here, and here. I’ve also linked some modern polka dots and some Vintage Fortuny for you below. I love these slight balloon sleeves. And the pleats. The blazer would go amazing with any white/black/denim bottom. And pair the skirt with anything from a tank to a sweater to a tee. Add a pop of red (it’s my favorite pop with black and white dots).
And yet. Without all of that- this suit with the cinched waist and the movement in the sleeves feels daring on its own. Any hose. Any shoes. Perhaps a skirt suit is a bit more daring than we ever thought!
This silk set (which feels perfect for the season) is vintage YSL via here, here, and here for starters. Women in suits? Always a bit daring and always a bit forward thinking.
So. How also are skirt suits the perfect thing for the upcoming religious holidays? How are they modest at the same time? I am not sure– but I know do many of our stories are wrapped in skirt suits- from Easter Sunday (or your own service!) to first jobs to luncheons. The skirt suit is such a staple- and yet still forward.
What is your experience with a skirt suit? And are you wearing one soon?
I’ve linked a mix of Fortuny, modern and vintage skirt suits for your shopping pleasure!
XO RA
Note: This post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission form them. Thank you for your support!
Hi All!!Thank you for your prayers and vibes and everything- Rebel made it home!! We are currently catching up on pets and treats and cuddles and wet food. And re-thinking our policy on feeding outdoor cats/letting him see them! I truly appreciate all your great thoughts- as I know it helped my handsome prince get home!
XO RA
As some of you know: I’m the most reluctant cat mom that ever was. But, like anything else – once I’m in, I’m all in. This summer I brought in a reformed feral cat Rebel- and he and I bonded intensely. Lately, a new neighborhood cat has been coming around – and Rebel has had his guard and protection mode up. Yesterday morning, he escaped the house trying to chase this cat away. At the time of writing he still isn’t home. To say I’m beside myself is an understatement.
I know- there should be new content and I should have a brave face on. I’ve spent the past day in sweats, sobbing, searching and waiting for Rebel to come home. Cool? No. Real life? Yes.
On Wednesday we’ll chat fashion stories and get dressed. But for now, if you could send heading home vibes to Rebel this all in cat momma would appreciate it.
An Update to this Ex Files? Bob recently showed back up. He “had such a great time the last time he saw me” and wanted to see me again. He was going to be in my neck of the woods and would love to grab a drink, etc- and while I meant to respond – I forgot. Completely. And once I realized I ghosted Bob (which I get is bad)- a peace came over me. Why waste time explaining no to someone who doesn’t get it? Why put yourself in that position? So:
Loves! It’s here! In my ultimate attempt to become Carrie Bradshaw, and satisfy my friends’ need to hear my awful dating stories (and sadly, there are a lot), we give you: Ex Files, dating horror stories. Yes, these stories really happened, yes, names/dates/places have been changed to protect those involved, and yes, if you wanted to be remembered well, behave better.
This post is a little hard to read, think about, or discuss. I’m not an expert, nor do I pretend to be. Should we have a conversation about toxic behavior? Yes. Are “nice guys” bad? Not necessarily, but loves, if you’re a nice guy who thinks that being nice entitles you to certain behavior from women: you’re not a nice guy. If you have been assaulted, please speak up, seek help if you need it, and do what you need to do to take care of you. And with all of these warnings, I give you:
The One Who Wouldn’t Take No
There was a man, let’s call him Bob, who was interested in me. Now, for part of our friendship I had no clue that he was interested, as we were just friends. And not close friends, but say hi to friends. Bob and I went to college together, and while we knew each other there, we were never close. As with most friendships that are casual and fleeting, the only contact we had for years was Facebook. And even that was casual. Bob was a nice, kind guy, but not for me. Beyond that, I never thought about him that way as we never went much further than pleasantries.
About a year ago, Bob and I ran into each other at some alumni events, grabbed a coffee, grabbed a drink. But again, I thought nothing of it and wasn’t interested in anything more. Bob asked me to dinner one time, supposedly to chat about work; but at the table Bob’s interest in me as something more than a friend came up. I politely let him know that I was seeing someone, and wasn’t interested in him. I thought that the matter was handled.
It wasn’t.
Over the next few months, Bob would reach out constantly via text and email. Just to chat. To try to make plans. To let me know that he was thinking about me. I was polite, engaged when necessary, but let him know repeatedly that my feelings had not changed. I truly though that Bob was harmless: he was nice, he prided himself on nice, I just thought that he was a bit awkward at dating. However, at some point Bob’s behavior began to go from “nice” to “not nice”. Bob told me repeatedly he was nice, and he was. However, Bob was under the impression that I owed him something for his niceness; that every compliment or gesture entitled Bob to something. Not only is that off putting and untrue, it made me avoid Bob.
Things came to a head when Bob asked me out, and I said no, as I already had plans. While this would have been the end of it in most circumstances, it wasn’t the end of it for Bob. As Bob felt he was owed something, he wanted to know why I told him no. Bob didn’t call or text to find out my reasoning. Bob showed up at my house, came in, and wanted me to explain to him why I couldn’t go out with him. Now, maybe you’re thinking that every one wants closure or deserves to know the truth; I have never had anyone else show up at my house after texting me to go somewhere to find out why I told them no. Yes, Bob was bigger than me. Yes, Bob brought up how he was a trained black belt. Yes, Bob showed up at my house to challenge a no he received. It was scary, and inappropriate, and he didn’t see that.
As many women do when faced with a situation that makes us uncomfortable, I tried to diffuse it. I explained that I had other plans, I placated him, I got him out of there. The worst thing that happened to me is that Bob tried to kiss me, it didn’t work. And while I had reinterated that I was not interested in a romantic relationship with Bob, he continued to ask me out for months, till he became too mad that I constantly said no.
I’m not sure that Bob gets it to this day.
Is this part of a larger convo? Sure. Do I know how to solve this problem? No. And do I know if ghosting is the answer? No.
Wishing us all a week of people who can take a no and amazing shoes!
XO RA
I know today is a “holiday” and a day a lot of people use as an excuse to cut a little loose. I get it, truly I do. To me? Today is about pinches- or avoiding them. The family story my family is sick of hearing about?
The one where my sister pinched me.
When I was 8?9? I had strep throat- awful- on St Patrick’s Day. Strep throat was an illness was I dealt with on a yearly basis, and it always took me down, in a horrific fashion. I am also one of those that has never run high fever, 99 is high for me. But, strep made me super ill, event without a high fever. So, I had been sent home from school- super sick, and as strep was the thing that I always got my mom could tell what it was and got me to the dr right away for a diagnosis and some meds. Even as a kid I loved to dress to a theme, and would usually wear green on St Patrick’s Day (the childhood celebration of it!). However, being sick and needing comfort I wore one of my fave, comfort outfits at the time- a white sweatshirt with a teddy bear on it and a white ribbed skirt with keds. No green.
Coming home from the doctor my sister and I were sitting in the back seat- again we were kids! And noticing that I wasn’t wearing green my sister pinched me. This may seem a bit innocent, a thing that sisters do-but the thing is my sister has a prosthetic arm. She was born without her left arm (and is a total rock star and was HomeComing Queen!) and at the time had a myroelectric arm –and pinches were not subtle. They hurt! And were hard! I remember being so upset, here I was feeling awful with my throat on fire, and I get pinched. Hard. And my sister laughed.
I tell this story so much my family gets sick of it. What it changed for me? Every year on St Patrick’s Day I make SURE I wear green. Sometimes big green, sometimes subtle green, but always green. I’m making it my mission to not get pinched again!
Do you wear green today? And do you pinch those that don’t? Weirdly, I’ve never been one to pinch- perhaps my own experience has made me a bit more understanding! However you “celebrate” and whatever you’re wearing , I hope today is fantastic!
Wishing us all a day of no pinches and amazing shoes! XO RA
