Ex Files: Pandemic Dating

Investment Piece: pandemic dating

By no means have we reached the end of my bad dating stories. (I have no idea if that’s horrifically bad or good for this series) BUT. With the world changing, and most of us (at least in the States) in such a different way of life, that I can’t help but think about how dating and break-ups have been affected. I sent this picture to a friend (who had recently ended her casual relationship) and we had a good laugh. If you’re in an area that’s being hard hit by Covid, or being badly affected by any of the current events, it has to make bad dates that much worse. Does it make good dates that much better?

I don’t have a ton of friends that are dating right now, but I do have quite a few friends who are breaking up. The break-ups seem to fall into 3 general categories:
1. Serious. Serious relationships that were in trouble and having to quarantine together and deal with (waves hand in the general direction of it all) made things worse. These are permenant break-ups that were going to happen. Even if the pandemic hurried things along.

2. Up-in-the-air. People who genuinely love and care for each other but between health and job and family stress just can’t commit right now. Will it work out later? A good chance. Do they still talk? Yep. But it’s just not the time. And you really can’t blame them.

3. The casual ending because of how they react to world events. A combo of one and two? Like my friend, who broke up with her very causal “situationship” as he had no desire to take the pandemic seriously, hated that she was choosing to do so, and felt judged by those differences. I did read somewhere that right now one good thing is that you can see right away how kind and compassionate someone is, you can see red flags easier, and can end things before anything serious starts. Were these people compatible? Probably not, but this was an easy tell.

Loves, in full disclosure I have to let you know that I’m not dating at this time. Between work and family stress and just trying to keep afloat in general, dating hasn’t even been on my radar. I’m a little more worried about seeing and hugging my friends and family again. But I do think about dating during this time.
The good: I can’t help but think it might be nice to get to know someone slowly. Really see people’s values and your compatibility. The idea of love letters melts me.
The bad: do you see each other? What about masks? All those things?
The in between: is anyone able to be their best right now? I used to be a prompt responder to texts and messages, even as an introvert loved to go out and go places. Now? It can take me a while to get back to you (because of al the reasons). Errands can be exhausting and I need time to recover. I’ve been late to zoom meetings. There are days that are so over emotional or sad or anything that I couldn’t be present for anyone else. Are the things we’re going through going to change us forever? How much grace could or should you give someone you’re getting to know in this crazy time?

I have no answers. But I do have 2 articles that have made me think- about dating and even my friendships!
Read tales from in person dating and advice from experts. What are your thoughts? Are you dating? How? How much has it changed?

Tell me all the things!
Xo RA

Dressing Up to Stay Home

Investment Piece: Dressing up to Stay home
Investment piece: dressing up to stay home
Investment Piece: Dressing Up to Stay Home

Are there days that feel exactly the same to you? Here in the States we’re still staying home. And if you tell me you’ve thought about letting go of getting dressed up, I would have to admit that I’ve felt the same.
Some days are hard. Some days need yoga pants. Some days need pjs.

And then there are the days that I’m dressing up to stay home.

Investment Piece: Dressing up to Stay home

I think this is where I’m supposed to tell you that dressing up will make you feel better. And it might. It usually does for me! Dressing up also gives you a chance to play (I mean, no one is going to see you!), so try out every wild thing you’ve ever come up with!

But.

Dressing up might not make you feel better. And loves, that’s ok too. I’m a firm believer in the power of fashion and of our stories and the connection between fashion and our stories.
But.
Things are crazy bananas-every day is like a roller coaster. There is no right way to feel. And fashion might not fix it.

Do I think you’ll regret dressing up? No. Dressing up brings me joy, I hope it brings you joy too, but it may not always work.

So, what can we do?

Investment Piece: Dressing Up to Stay Home

I think we do what’s best for us, based on the day. Sometimes it’ll be yoga pants. Sometimes pjs. Sometimes it will be dressing up.

(And if you do dress up, might I recommend a caftan? It will look like $1MillION and feel like pjs! It’s the best of both worlds! I have written about caftans here, here, and here. It’s no secret that I think caftans are both a secret weapon and a must have!)

This caftan happens to be sold out but I’ve linked similar ones (as well as a necklace that’s an exact twin to this one!). This weekend? I may just dress up, see how it makes staying at stay feel.

Xo RA

Note: this post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!

Investment Piece: dressing up to stay home

Designer Spolight: Todd Oldham

Investment Piece: Designer Spotlight: Todd Oldham
It’s sometimes scary as a vintage lover to see how quickly certain eras become vintage, or collectibles. I remember (vaguely) the 90s, yet here they are–vintage. However, loves, there is something to be said for great fashion standing the test of time, and reach a new generation of lovers. And if something from the 90s is going to come back, let’s be glad it’s Todd Oldham.

Todd Oldham was a fashion designer at the height of the 90s, he had a few fans, you might have heard of one-Cindy Crawford. His pieces were fun, intricate, and are still head turners. As a New York Times piece recently put it:

“Fashion is noisy, and Mr. Oldham had a lively run with it. His clothes were inspired by pot holders or wallpaper or kitschy paint-by-numbers paintings or garage sale treasures — toasters, gilded mirrors, loopy printed upholstery — all expressed in exuberant colors on cut velvet and silks, with trompe l’oeil effects that were the result of elaborate printing techniques, intricate beading, appliqués and embroidery.
His clothes were fun, but they were also beautiful, and his shows were like dance parties, packed with the coolest kids, both on the runway and in the audience: drag performers like Billy Beyond and RuPaul; old-fashioned supermodels like Cindy Crawford and Naomi Campbell; and actors like Susan Sarandon, Rosie O’Donnell and Christian Slater. You might hear the theme song from “The Dating Game,” or 1970s-era curiosities, like War’s “Low Rider,” and the models didn’t stalk, stone-faced, down the runway. They skipped, jogged, shimmied and grinned, just as you did, watching them.”

Investment Piece: Todd Oldham

Looking any Todd Oldham piece, it’s easy to see why the pieces are (were) cool; but loves, I have a feeling Oldham is (was) just as cool. He’s from Texas (Corpus Christi to be exact) and made his first dress at 15. His first fashion job was in the alterations department of Polo Ralph Lauren, but with a $100 loan from his parents he designed a collection that he sold to Neiman’s. The rest? Fashion History, but not the linear kind. Yes, Todd Oldham has his own line (incredibly popular) and won awards, was worn by models. He also consulted for Escada, designed a Batman line, hosted segments on MTV shows (Todd Time on House of Style and Fashaionably Loud), had a Target line, ran Old Navy and he made art and books.

In fact, while I consider his clothes works of art, he retired from fashion (unless you count his archives and museum showings) and is focused on the book and art making slowly. (The New Times piece is a great look at his goodbye to wholesale and his current endeavors, found here
Investment Piece: Todd Oldham

But loves, we haven’t really lost anything. With Todd Oldham clothes becoming a great vintage find, we can still enjoy his creations; and they are still as fun and beautiful as they were in the 90s. So where to look? 1stdibs (Look for The Timeless Vixen, Rachel Zabar, and a general search) is a great place to start, Etsy, and your local high end vintage dealer (I love me some Recess LA, The Kit Vintage, and Vintage Martini. Some prices are high (the rarity factor), but I can promise any piece is stunning.

Investment Piece: LA Walk
I was lucky enough to find these amazing bandana print pants (and yes, I’m claiming Cindy Crawford wore them) at Recess, and I want to live in them–they’re that great!

I’m a firm believer that fashion is art, fashion is supposed to be fun, and fashion is a community; and I’m just grateful Todd Oldham chose to play with us a while!

XO RA

Old is New

Investment Piece: Old is New
Investment Piece: Old is New
Investment Piece: Old is New

We’ve been at home for a while now. Your routine might be beginning to feel stale, you may feel like you’ve run out of things to wear and do, and you may be yearning for something new.

To be fair, this yearning for new and feeling like you’re out of things to wear could have been happening before the pandemic. But I’m willing to be that staying home more often has made these feelings stronger. I have no idea where I think I could go but I have days when I’m so sick of all the clothes I have and I want all new things!

What are we to do?

Make the old new.

It’s just a way of taking the old we have and making it feel new. Wearing things in a new way, in a new combo, or simply looking at old things with new eyes.

Investment Piece: Old is New
Investment Piece: old is new
Investment Piece: Old is New
Same old, same old? Cutoffs and a t-shirt.
Old is new? Turning the collar and the button holes of your silk shirt in, crossing it in the front, using your belt bag as a tie to keep your shirt closed. Old is new.

All of a sudden, with this one little change, this combo felt new and chic.
(Side note: you could always use a little safety pin to help your shirt stay closed! Or wear a regular belt. There are endless options- once you start looking at things in a new way)

I have nothing against new clothes (in fact,I love them!), but I’m even a bigger fan of having endless ways to wear all my old and new things!

I bet that you have a ton of amazing things in your closet that could be feeling a little blah right now, how could you switch those things up and make them feel brand new?

This shirt is vintage and these shorts are old, but I’ve found you similar and I’ve linked them below for you (if you do find you need something new!). I’d love to see how you’re styling your old (and new) things!

Xo RA

Note: this post does contain affiliate links. While this does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!

Investment Piece: Old is New

Sunday Chronicles: Gratitude

Loves, there is so much going on right now. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed, and it’s easy to feel down. For years I’ve been a fan of keeping a gratitude journal- listing at least 5 things a day that I’m grateful for; my practice isn’t perfect, but I love that it helps me focus on how much good there is. For many reasons, this week seemed hard and I’ll be honest I didn’t know what to say about it. So, I’m choosing to share 5 things that I’m grateful for and excited about.

Note: this post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!

Face Mask Chains
Investment Piece: Gratitude

Face masks are so important to wear right now, and I’m a fan of making them fashion! I made a chain for when I need to take mine off and on, simply by adding a jewelery clasp to each end of a tortoise chain. I’m loving some of the masks here. How are you making your mask your own?

New Notebooks
Investment Piece: gratitude list
I grew up in a household that loved school supplies. I’m no longer bound by the school year, but I still get a thrill when I get a new notepad or pen. (I’m also an avid list maker and these make me feel I will be able to get everything done!) Shop these here

Patio
Investment Piece: Sunday Chronicles

We all know that I love my pool! But, I’m working on redoing the entire back patio to make it more company friendly, and a place to relax. It’s not the beach, but I’m grateful for a little place of peace.

Sangria
Investment Piece: Gratitude
Every week I’ve been making a cocktail and wearing a caftan over on Instagram- and it’s so much fun! (You can join me @racheladelicia, and Cocktails&Caftans happens every Saturday!) This week the whole family got into it. We made sangria, made gazpacho for dinner, made a night out of it. Having something to look forward to and have fun with has been a highlight during this time!

Pink Hair
Investment Piece: Gratitude

Not everyone in the house loves it, and it’s by no means permanent, but it’s been a fun thing to play with!

We are so lucky and there’s so much to be grateful for, even as we work towards a better world. When was the last time you sat down and thought about all the little things you’re grateful for?

Wishing us all a week of good luck and amazing shoes!
XO RA

Jungle Heat

Investment Piece: Jungle Heat
Investment Piece: Jungle Heat
Investment Piece: Jungle Heat
Investment Piece: Jungle Heat
Investment Piece: Fashion blogger

Loves, it’s been so hot, too hot to do anything! It feels like a jungle out there! And what to do when it feels like a jungle? Dress for jungle heat! You caught me again: this is a swim suit (well, technically a rash guard) that I’m wearing with a skirt. But it goes perfectly! This exquisite skirt (very DG) is from one of my faves, Beehive Boutique, and it’s perfect for summer! The color, the patterns, the animals–it’s very jungle chic! And I couldn’t resist pairing it with this rash guard to match the stripes.

Yes, this skirt goes great with white tees (and yellow, black, etc), button downs, and denim shirts. This rash guard goes with any bikini and is perfect for your next water sport adventure. But, if it’s jungle heat outside, shouldn’t we be prepared at all times to get in the pool or ocean? Is there anything else to do when it’s this hot?

Hope your weekend is wonderful–and cool!

Shop my picks below! XO RA

Note: this post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them! Thank you for your support!

Investment Piece: Jungle Heat

Fashion in the Wild: Pink

It’s the middle of a pandemic and I’m thinking of going pink again. Because why not? So. I looked back at how it was to be pink. What do you think? Should I go for it?

Loves, lately I’ve been craving a change. A shake up. A way to be different.

And as any woman will tell you, the easiest way to change yourself is to change your hair. (And men know that once she changes her hair, she’s not coming back. It’s science)

So, as I’ve say in my need to switch things up, I’ve been thinking about how to change my hair. As you may know, my journey to accept my wavy hair has been a long one. You can read all about it here.

And once you do, you’ll get that my sudden desire to go pink is not in character for me. Have I mentioned I needed a change?

Well, I decided that pink is it. And yet, I didn’t want to go pink permanently. I need a shake up, I haven’t lost who I am. And as one does when they want to go pink, they google how-to. Did you know that there are a ton of ways to go pink? Temporarily? I have a thing for rose gold so I went here:

Investment Piece: Fashion in the Wild Pink
Want to go rose gold with me? Get yours here.

And because I’m me, and this is fashion in the wild I made a little video about being pink. Temporarily.

Notes: I did a test patch before I did my full hair with this pink tint. I loved that it rinsed out quickly and didn’t seem to affect my color (which I do love) at all. When I went to do my full hair pink I followed directions closely. I towel dried my hair. I put the pink all over. I left it on for probably about 4 mins. Then I rinsed it out. Honestly, it came out very subtly pink. I was hoping for more, and while people did notice, I decided to go for more hue.
So I re-applied.
The second time I had my hair almost completely dry when I put the tint on, and I left the tint in for a tad bit longer. It’s still not SUPER pink, but it’s more pink than the first time. I had people ask me if I dyed my hair–and everyone loved it. My favorite part? Any time I need a shakeup, this pink is an option, but it’s not something that I have to commit to!

I would love to know: would you go pink?

And don’t worry : the next time you see me I won’t be pink, I’ll be back to blonde.
But for now–I’m enjoying being pink!
XO RA
Note: This post does contain some affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. thank you for your support!

Summer Whites

Investment Piece : Summer Whites
Investment Piece: Summer Whites
Investment Piece: Summer Whites

Summer whites, I have a thing for them. (See here and here for starters) All white is a little romantic, a little daring (I always feel like I’m tempting stain fate), and a little optimistic. There’s just something about an all white outfit that makes me feel like I’m wearing the best of summer.

Investment Piece: Summer White

Side note: while you’re wearing a traditional color, like white, there’s no rule that you can’t be untraditional about it. I love jackets that are unexpected like this one. Yes, it would also look great over something (as well as with anything from cut-offs to suit pants), but I love taking something like a summer white and making it my own!

Investment Piece: summer whites
Investment Piece: summer whites

And yes, together, this look is a little on the formal/suit side. Insert the part where I tell you how you could wear these pieces separately and how you could make them casual! And you could! These basics are great to have in your closet to wear any which way you like! I know right now a lot of our lives can be lived casually right now, and I’m doing that too. However, there are still times during these times (say that a few times fast) that we may need to be daring and romantic and optimistic. So, I couldn’t resist the urge to “suit up” or be a little more dressy- even if it was just in the backyard.

In the morning light, with coffee, it was the perfect look to help me feel as if I was getting a jump on my day and could conquer anything.

Starting your day with pieces that make you smile and amazing shoes is a trick I reserve for Monday mornings. It helps!

I would love to know: do you rock all white looks? Are you living in yoga pants or getting dressed? How does all white make you feel?

And–don’t hate me– I did change into yoga pants a bit after this!
I’ve linked you similar items below. Happy shopping!
Xo RA

Note: this post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!

Investment Piece: Summer Whites

Sunday Chronicles: Day Off

Investment Piece: Day Off

It’s summer times, but the living might not be easy. The pandemic, and all the layers that comes with that, the fight for social justice and all that comes with that. I’ve been working from home for years, with a weird schedule to boot, but I have to admit that the current times–between work and caring, I’m a little exhausted.

This week I’ve found myself saying “I’m home more than ever but I’m busier that ever. I feel like I’m always running and always behind and always tired. What I wouldn’t give for a day off!”

Lately, days off have felt come to come by, so I got to thinking: what would a day off look like? What would I do with it? Would I read all day? Watch TV? Sit in the pool? How would I recharge?

I feel like I always have something to do work or home and all the other facets that make up my life. One day off, without work to do or a home project to accomplish might just be the rest I need. So, I decided to give myself one.

What am I going to do? I’m not sure. I just know that I need to relax. Books, movies, naps, drinks by the pool, I might do them all or nothing at all.

What do you do with a day off? What are you doing right now to relax and recharge yourself?

Wishing us all a week with days off and amazing shoes!
Xo RA

Not Forgotten

Investment Piece: Not Forgotten
Investment Piece: Not Forgotten
Investment Piece: Not Forgotten

I got this dress this winter, in February, when it wasn’t quite warm. I kept meaning to shoot it. It looked great with boots, and there was a time when it was my favorite thing to throw on over leggings and a sports bra to go to Pilates in.

Then lockdown. My wardrobe went from things I wanted to be seen in to a lot of workout and lounge wear. Which hasn’t been a bad thing. But it means that there are things that were forgotten.

Investment Piece: Not Forgotten
Investment Piece: Not forgotten
Investment Piece: Not Forgotten

Last week I pulled it to the front of my closet. And I began to wear it. It’s great with sandals, over my bathing suits, with sneakers, and as a Caftan around the house.
It made me think of all the clothes that may be forgotten in our closets right now- the business suits, the formal dresses, jeans. How can we not forget them? I don’t think it’s about wearing these pieces in the way that we did, or the way we thought we would (though that happens too!). I bet there is so much in your closet that could brighten your day, if it was not forgotten.

Don’t get me wrong–I’m still in leggings a lot. And the world is still uncertain. But I’m doing my best to not forget my clothes. If that means getting dressed up or wearing something in a way I hadn’t thought of- I’m not forgetting my clothes. What about you? What are you wearing? What could you be? What are you forgetting?

This dress is vintage Albert Nipon and I’ve linked you both vintage Albert Nipon pieces and modern zebra prints (yes. This is a classic shape, and the details, and it has pockets! I love the play on animal print. I highly recommend it all!)

Xo RA

Note: this post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!

Get the modern look:

Or if vintage is your thing:

Investment Piece: Not Forgotten