It’s Ex-Files, where I share horror stories from the front lines of dating! This series has been part of my way of coping with dates and relationships that were less than ideal, because if we can’t laugh at ridiculous men, what are we doing here? Some of my favorite stories that I’ve shared with you are Tinder on an Airplane, The One Who Asked for his Money Back, and Ghosting. I had a great story this month, about a guy who took me to dinner to let me know non-stop how much he hated his mother. But then. This week happened.
I know many of us have been triggered by the events and testimony this week. No matter what your policital views, as a woman (or a man), there’s no way that your life hasn’t been touched by sexual assault, even if it’s not openly talked about. Like many of you I’m tired. I’m angry. I’m hurt. And the last thing I wanted to do was dive into a story about dating, even if it was for humor purposes.
There’s something to be said after a week like this one, much like after a bad break up, that a little self care is needed. Not the romanticized and cliche self care, but the real, you may be hurting and need some time to heal self care. Which leaves us with the question, what does self care look like on a week like this?
I vary from needing to be with people to needing to be alone, from needing activity to needing rest, and I think any combination of these types of self care are valid. Actually, any kind of self care you need (as long as it’s not self harm) is valid. Below is a small list of things I like to do for myself in the name of self care:
Take the afternoon off and see a matinee
Stay in with a book
Dinner/drinks with a friend
Spending the day in bed reading trashy magazines
Cleaning out my closet
Shopping or planning outfits
A spa day either at home or at an actual spa
Planning and cooking a great meal
A hard workout
A long walk
Spending time with family
Spending time alone
A bubble bath with wine
Working hard on forgiving others, myself, and walking with kindness and compassion.
I don’t think there’s a way to do self care wrong. It comes down to what we need, and how we can give it to ourselves. I hope that this week, as long and as hard as it was had moments of laughter and care. I hope you know you’re loved and supported.
If you need it, the Sexual Abuse Hotline is 1-800-656-4673. Also, if you need it, you can register to vote here.
I’d love to know what your favorite form of self care is. If you need a listening ear, this community is here for you. I’d love for us all to remember we’re in this together.
Wishing us a week of light and amazing shoes! Xo RA